Usually when I read about immigration reform it elicits an involuntary eye roll. Perfect example:
Every few weeks for nearly four years, the Secret Service screened the IDs of employees for a Maryland cleaning company before they entered the house of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, the nation's top immigration official.
The company's owner says the workers sailed through the checks -- although some of them turned out to be illegal immigrants.
...
"Our people need to know," said the Montgomery County businessman. "Our Homeland Security can't police their own home. How can they police our borders?"
The whole article.
Thursday
Friday
Life with Z
I know I need to write more often. Right now the gaps are so long that when I do write, I have way too much to say and it’s hard to figure out what to focus on. I’ve been using Twitter a lot more, so I find myself doing mini-updates there, but grandmas don’t read Twitter and they aren’t getting their Zoe fix.
The big Zoe news is that she has started using the potty, more or less. She’s 18 months old and I assumed we’d be waiting till around two before real “training” started. All we’d done was introduced her to the potty and let her sit on it whenever she seemed inclined. Mainly she treated it like another game and would grab her bath toys (which sit in a basket between her potty and the tab) and throw them in the potty and close the lid. But within the past couple of weeks she’d started playing a lot with her diapers doing things like this
and this
, and I started wondering if maybe she was trying to tell us something.
At daycare she moved up to the toddler class and she is one of the younger kids, if not the youngest. A lot of the older kids use the potty. I talked to her teachers and they said if I thought she was ready, they would take her, too. On the first day (which I think was this past Monday) she went and used the potty successfully with everyone else. So we started trying at home. Essentially we’re guessing and putting her on the potty at typical times we’d think she’d use it and we’re guessing correctly about two times a day. We’re not to the point when she actively tells us she needs to go. I think she is still figuring out how everything fits together. I guess I should probably read a book about this but after my fiasco with “sleep training,” I’m inclined to go with common sense. And until she learns what the sensation of needing to go is, and is able to communicate that to us in time to get to the bathroom, I don’t think we can make the next step. Next step in my mind is pull-ups or big girl underwear. We’ll see how it goes. I still think she’s pretty young and I expect a few bumps along the way. I’m excited she is even interested in the potty as something other than a receptacle for toys! Maybe I’ll break down and read some typical potty training advice but right now “experts” are bugging me.
In general, I’m really enjoying toddlerhood. Zoe’s communicating a lot more. She says please, milk, more, and shoe in sign language, for example and random words pop out, or at least what sound like words to me, like “that’s it.” She’s still hard to understand. Diaper is something like “die-puh” and hello is something like “hiyoo!” but we’re getting there. She’s very independent and wants to do a lot of things herself. She also has very definite ideas about shoes. Sometimes I’ll grab a pair and she shakes her head and goes to grab another set. Very often they do not match and she’s discarded the ones that would be really cute with her outfit, but I have chosen not to care. Moving on! Not going to argue with an 18-month-old over shoes, especially when I know I won’t win. At least not without a lot of tears and screaming and who needs that in the morning before you’ve had any coffee? She also occasionally shows us she’s ready to go to sleep by doing things like walking to her bed and lying down (lol).
She’s pretty fearless. She’s gotten into the phase where she wants to climb up on everything, furniture, boxes, whatever. She’s doing the same at daycare and while one teacher likes that Zoe is “rough and tumble” and admires the fact that she doesn’t cry very often when she falls or jumps off things, another teacher has asked us to remind Zoe that her “walking feet” belong on the ground so we stay safe. We’re trying to reinforce this at home but have had some pretty funny experiences at playgrounds when the child launches herself off equipment. And without fail she always wants to go down the biggest slide, try to climb the big kids’ stuff (and her little legs and arms are often too short to reach the rungs), and generally is pretty rough and tumble. She likes climbing up the stairs outside our apartment and will consent to having her hand held.
She’s also very affectionate. She gives lots of kisses and hugs. Sometimes I think I miss her infancy, when she was so tiny and I held her more. But this phase is pretty exciting, too. She’s now more than half my length (not that that’s hard, I’m a shortie) and developing more into her own person every day.
Next update: thoughts on my novel and publishing.
The big Zoe news is that she has started using the potty, more or less. She’s 18 months old and I assumed we’d be waiting till around two before real “training” started. All we’d done was introduced her to the potty and let her sit on it whenever she seemed inclined. Mainly she treated it like another game and would grab her bath toys (which sit in a basket between her potty and the tab) and throw them in the potty and close the lid. But within the past couple of weeks she’d started playing a lot with her diapers doing things like this
and this
, and I started wondering if maybe she was trying to tell us something.At daycare she moved up to the toddler class and she is one of the younger kids, if not the youngest. A lot of the older kids use the potty. I talked to her teachers and they said if I thought she was ready, they would take her, too. On the first day (which I think was this past Monday) she went and used the potty successfully with everyone else. So we started trying at home. Essentially we’re guessing and putting her on the potty at typical times we’d think she’d use it and we’re guessing correctly about two times a day. We’re not to the point when she actively tells us she needs to go. I think she is still figuring out how everything fits together. I guess I should probably read a book about this but after my fiasco with “sleep training,” I’m inclined to go with common sense. And until she learns what the sensation of needing to go is, and is able to communicate that to us in time to get to the bathroom, I don’t think we can make the next step. Next step in my mind is pull-ups or big girl underwear. We’ll see how it goes. I still think she’s pretty young and I expect a few bumps along the way. I’m excited she is even interested in the potty as something other than a receptacle for toys! Maybe I’ll break down and read some typical potty training advice but right now “experts” are bugging me.
In general, I’m really enjoying toddlerhood. Zoe’s communicating a lot more. She says please, milk, more, and shoe in sign language, for example and random words pop out, or at least what sound like words to me, like “that’s it.” She’s still hard to understand. Diaper is something like “die-puh” and hello is something like “hiyoo!” but we’re getting there. She’s very independent and wants to do a lot of things herself. She also has very definite ideas about shoes. Sometimes I’ll grab a pair and she shakes her head and goes to grab another set. Very often they do not match and she’s discarded the ones that would be really cute with her outfit, but I have chosen not to care. Moving on! Not going to argue with an 18-month-old over shoes, especially when I know I won’t win. At least not without a lot of tears and screaming and who needs that in the morning before you’ve had any coffee? She also occasionally shows us she’s ready to go to sleep by doing things like walking to her bed and lying down (lol).
She’s pretty fearless. She’s gotten into the phase where she wants to climb up on everything, furniture, boxes, whatever. She’s doing the same at daycare and while one teacher likes that Zoe is “rough and tumble” and admires the fact that she doesn’t cry very often when she falls or jumps off things, another teacher has asked us to remind Zoe that her “walking feet” belong on the ground so we stay safe. We’re trying to reinforce this at home but have had some pretty funny experiences at playgrounds when the child launches herself off equipment. And without fail she always wants to go down the biggest slide, try to climb the big kids’ stuff (and her little legs and arms are often too short to reach the rungs), and generally is pretty rough and tumble. She likes climbing up the stairs outside our apartment and will consent to having her hand held.
She’s also very affectionate. She gives lots of kisses and hugs. Sometimes I think I miss her infancy, when she was so tiny and I held her more. But this phase is pretty exciting, too. She’s now more than half my length (not that that’s hard, I’m a shortie) and developing more into her own person every day.
Next update: thoughts on my novel and publishing.
Monday
For the Grandmas
Taken by our friends Laurie and Jarrad on Halloween (obviously). We misplaced our camera for a couple of weeks after our move but finally found it recently. New pics should be coming soon. We took several this weekend.
Thursday
Lots of Change in the Air
In addition to a new President-Elect, the Stullover household has faced a lot of change this past week. While Nate and I toasted our new president on Tuesday night, we also celebrated our house closing finally going through. We had signed the paperwork earlier on Tuesday morning. After it was all done, our realtor said, “Now that the deal is closed I can tell you that it almost fell through.” Apparently, the lender had agreed with the buyer that the down payment would be three percent. One or two days before our original closing date, the lender told them they had to come up with 10 percent or no deal. Luckily the buyers managed to come up with several thousand dollars over the next few days, but it delayed the closing for a little over a week. And while we were of course wondering what the heck was going on, I’m sure the buyers were highly stressed as well.
The house sale is great on multiple levels. We are no longer paying rent and mortgage, we can begin paying off some credit card debt that we’ve accumulated (especially when getting the house ready to sell), and we can finally settle into our new city. Nate and I have both been able to get in a few workouts in this week, which has felt amazing, and last weekend we got to go to some fun events and feel like Austinites again.
On Friday, we went to our friends’ house to have Zoe tag along to trick or treat. She speaks isolated words and is often hard to understand, so saying “trick or treat” was not an option this year. However, this did not hold her up her in the least. She’d run up to people’s front doors, but didn’t seem very interested in the candy. She often walked around whoever was handing out the treats in an attempt to go into their homes. As always, she was very curious and interested in people.
Our fun weekend continued. First we went to the Texas Book Festival. We weren’t able to get organized enough to go to panels, but we did walk through the book/exhibitor tents and we listened to Terry Hendrix at the music tent. Then we met up with some friends and walked down Congress to go to the Dia de los Muertos event at Mexic-Arte. We had some beer and ate some food and Zoe danced A LOT. It was pretty funny. She kept walking up to groups of people and breaking out into dance. Nate and I took turns following her around because she ranged pretty far from the group. At one point, an older Mexican woman walked up to touch Zoe’s face in an effort to avoid giving her ojo. Nate has heard about this from my family, so he took it all in stride saying, “Do what you gotta do.” Zoe hadn’t taken a nap that day, but all the dancing wore her out. After we left, she fell asleep in her car seat before we had reached the first stop light.
On Monday, Zoe moved up to the next room at her daycare, the toddler room. It always makes me nervous when she moves up because she is the youngest and the other kids seem so big. But all of her other teachers have told me not to worry because she stands up for herself. (And having been the recipient of a few of her looks, I can tell you that the girl has a stare that says, Huh, you talking to ME? It’s pretty funny for a one year old). On Monday when I picked her up in her new room I saw a little boy kiss her cheek three or four times in a row. Her new teacher says that another little girl likes to touch Zoe’s cheeks. I can sympathize; they are pretty cute. I’ve also been told that some of the older girls have taken Zoe under their wings. So, all is good. Lots of change but I’m hoping things start to calm down soon.
The house sale is great on multiple levels. We are no longer paying rent and mortgage, we can begin paying off some credit card debt that we’ve accumulated (especially when getting the house ready to sell), and we can finally settle into our new city. Nate and I have both been able to get in a few workouts in this week, which has felt amazing, and last weekend we got to go to some fun events and feel like Austinites again.
On Friday, we went to our friends’ house to have Zoe tag along to trick or treat. She speaks isolated words and is often hard to understand, so saying “trick or treat” was not an option this year. However, this did not hold her up her in the least. She’d run up to people’s front doors, but didn’t seem very interested in the candy. She often walked around whoever was handing out the treats in an attempt to go into their homes. As always, she was very curious and interested in people.
Our fun weekend continued. First we went to the Texas Book Festival. We weren’t able to get organized enough to go to panels, but we did walk through the book/exhibitor tents and we listened to Terry Hendrix at the music tent. Then we met up with some friends and walked down Congress to go to the Dia de los Muertos event at Mexic-Arte. We had some beer and ate some food and Zoe danced A LOT. It was pretty funny. She kept walking up to groups of people and breaking out into dance. Nate and I took turns following her around because she ranged pretty far from the group. At one point, an older Mexican woman walked up to touch Zoe’s face in an effort to avoid giving her ojo. Nate has heard about this from my family, so he took it all in stride saying, “Do what you gotta do.” Zoe hadn’t taken a nap that day, but all the dancing wore her out. After we left, she fell asleep in her car seat before we had reached the first stop light.
On Monday, Zoe moved up to the next room at her daycare, the toddler room. It always makes me nervous when she moves up because she is the youngest and the other kids seem so big. But all of her other teachers have told me not to worry because she stands up for herself. (And having been the recipient of a few of her looks, I can tell you that the girl has a stare that says, Huh, you talking to ME? It’s pretty funny for a one year old). On Monday when I picked her up in her new room I saw a little boy kiss her cheek three or four times in a row. Her new teacher says that another little girl likes to touch Zoe’s cheeks. I can sympathize; they are pretty cute. I’ve also been told that some of the older girls have taken Zoe under their wings. So, all is good. Lots of change but I’m hoping things start to calm down soon.
Tuesday
Monday
Querying Agents
This is the most accurate visual metaphor I can come up with to describe what it feels like to query agents, especially when you get no response.
Zoe and Transition (What Else?)
Zoe is trying to jump, which is really cute to witness. She bends down and goes up but doesn’t quite leave the ground. If you jump, she will laugh hysterically. Her uncle said that jumping is a big developmental step (so is learning how to blow your nose).
She’s also become much more involved in getting dressed in the mornings. She is very cooperative when putting on pants and shirts (picking her arms or legs up to help you). After her clothes are on she picks up her feet as if to say: you’ve forgotten something! If you do not put her shoes on quickly she will start looking for them and yelling. She’s very insistent about putting on her shoes. It’s funny because she goes to a little hippie daycare where most of the kids take their shoes off or don’t wear them at all but she’s entered this new phase where she must have her shoes. I guess she feels they complete an outfit?
So, the shoe thing also brings up a tough issue. Often on the weekends she wants you to put on her shoes pretty much first thing in the morning. Then she walks to the front door and wants to go outside. One of the downsides to apartment life is that we do not have a yard, something she is definitely used to. I’m trying not to get too bummed about it because we are so close to Zilker and to two schools with great playgrounds. We have been to these places and they’re fun for her, but it does make me sad that she can’t just walk out her front or back door and into a yard.
The move has been a hard transition in a lot of ways. Sometimes Nate and I can’t believe how much we’ve gone through (six months of change already!) and we’re not all the way done yet. We did a ton of work to get our house ready to put on the market, lived apart for about six weeks, both got new jobs, stayed with friends for quite a while, now we’re under contract, living in an apartment, and planning on emptying our house and putting almost everything in storage. Our lease will end next September and at that point we’ll see if the economy is totally in the toilet and we’re all growing victory gardens, or if things are looking okay. We’ll also evaluate where our debt is and we might decide to buy, or we may rent for a bit longer and maybe get rid of all our debt. We are on a budget now and have a good plan to greatly reduce the bills we racked up while living in the house and then getting it ready to sell. There’s good and bad in our situation, as with everything.
She’s also become much more involved in getting dressed in the mornings. She is very cooperative when putting on pants and shirts (picking her arms or legs up to help you). After her clothes are on she picks up her feet as if to say: you’ve forgotten something! If you do not put her shoes on quickly she will start looking for them and yelling. She’s very insistent about putting on her shoes. It’s funny because she goes to a little hippie daycare where most of the kids take their shoes off or don’t wear them at all but she’s entered this new phase where she must have her shoes. I guess she feels they complete an outfit?
So, the shoe thing also brings up a tough issue. Often on the weekends she wants you to put on her shoes pretty much first thing in the morning. Then she walks to the front door and wants to go outside. One of the downsides to apartment life is that we do not have a yard, something she is definitely used to. I’m trying not to get too bummed about it because we are so close to Zilker and to two schools with great playgrounds. We have been to these places and they’re fun for her, but it does make me sad that she can’t just walk out her front or back door and into a yard.
The move has been a hard transition in a lot of ways. Sometimes Nate and I can’t believe how much we’ve gone through (six months of change already!) and we’re not all the way done yet. We did a ton of work to get our house ready to put on the market, lived apart for about six weeks, both got new jobs, stayed with friends for quite a while, now we’re under contract, living in an apartment, and planning on emptying our house and putting almost everything in storage. Our lease will end next September and at that point we’ll see if the economy is totally in the toilet and we’re all growing victory gardens, or if things are looking okay. We’ll also evaluate where our debt is and we might decide to buy, or we may rent for a bit longer and maybe get rid of all our debt. We are on a budget now and have a good plan to greatly reduce the bills we racked up while living in the house and then getting it ready to sell. There’s good and bad in our situation, as with everything.
Tuesday
Our House
We went to Dallas a couple of weeks ago to pick up a few things for our apartment in Austin. Pots, pans, silverware, sheets, Zoe’s 24-month-old clothing, that kind of thing. We have a house sitter and he mentioned that a man was coming by later that day to see the house for the fourth time and that on the previous visit, he’d brought his wife, mother-in-law, and a camera. Good signs. We mentioned it to our realtor, who hadn’t known about the four visits because the viewing agency had somehow listed it as two separate two-time visits instead of one four-time visitor.
The next week (last week), our realtor followed up with their realtor. She told us we were “the bridesmaid and not the bride” and that they were going with a smaller, less expensive house. She reassured their realtor that we were open to negotiation and on Wednesday evening he called and told us they were withdrawing their offer on the other house and to expect an offer the next day. Due to some complications with opening the file, we didn’t get to see the actual number until late Thursday. Their first offer was a fair one, we countered slightly higher and then we had a deal. Needless to say, we were very relieved.
The hilarious thing is that we got the offer two weeks after signing a year lease on an apartment. Oh well. The location is really great (very convenient to both of our jobs and Zoe’s daycare) and the lowered expenses over the next few months will give us the opportunity to pay off some debt and possibly save some money. So in a lot of ways we’ll be in a much better position to buy at the end of our lease.
Right now we are in the option period, so we are waiting impatiently. They are pre-approved and asked if we could close in two weeks (we’re in turn asking for three) so I doubt they’ll back out if they’re on such an accelerated timeframe. They’re moving to Dallas from out of state and I think they would like to move directly into the house, rather than find some interim solution.
So, there you go. Eight or nine days to go and then I will feel much more confident about all of this and so relieved to be able to finish the move to Austin.
The next week (last week), our realtor followed up with their realtor. She told us we were “the bridesmaid and not the bride” and that they were going with a smaller, less expensive house. She reassured their realtor that we were open to negotiation and on Wednesday evening he called and told us they were withdrawing their offer on the other house and to expect an offer the next day. Due to some complications with opening the file, we didn’t get to see the actual number until late Thursday. Their first offer was a fair one, we countered slightly higher and then we had a deal. Needless to say, we were very relieved.
The hilarious thing is that we got the offer two weeks after signing a year lease on an apartment. Oh well. The location is really great (very convenient to both of our jobs and Zoe’s daycare) and the lowered expenses over the next few months will give us the opportunity to pay off some debt and possibly save some money. So in a lot of ways we’ll be in a much better position to buy at the end of our lease.
Right now we are in the option period, so we are waiting impatiently. They are pre-approved and asked if we could close in two weeks (we’re in turn asking for three) so I doubt they’ll back out if they’re on such an accelerated timeframe. They’re moving to Dallas from out of state and I think they would like to move directly into the house, rather than find some interim solution.
So, there you go. Eight or nine days to go and then I will feel much more confident about all of this and so relieved to be able to finish the move to Austin.
Thursday
Zoe Update
I’ve been so consumed with moving, trying to sell the house, new job, etc. that I haven’t done a Zoe update in too long.
She’d been saying “mama” and “da” or “a-da” for a while. Now she also says baby, ball, bear, and today she tried to say daddy. Sounded like “ahhh-dee.” Also tries to say “dog” but it sounds an awful lot like “da.”
She loves her dolls and bears. She hugs them and “puts them to bed.” She walks around with her “baby” and a blankie (or anything that could conceivably be considered a blankie, like a dish towel) and puts the baby on the floor and then covers them up. Sometimes she pats them. Then she gets up and does it over and over and over again.
She dusts, sweeps, and tries to help put things away. She is also wiping her hands and mouth with a napkin when she is done eating.
She’s gotten one molar. We suspect another is on the way.
She grooves down to the most godawful music. Loooooves to dance and will do this hilarious “thriller” shoulder move sometimes.
She takes care of the other babies at daycare, meaning if they start crying she will go pat their backs or hug them. There is a boy who has just transitioned into her pre-toddler class and he’s still learning to walk. She will guide him around and if he sits, she goes and brings toys to him.
There’s another little boy she dances with at daycare. They hold hands and go in a circle when there’s music playing.
She really loves animals and squeaks and points when she sees them. This includes, dogs, cats, squirrels, birds, whatever.
She’s pointing a lot in general these days, often at something she wants.
She’s really into shoes and bags (already!).
She is almost giving kisses with her mouth closed.
Stares at herself in the mirror and smiles as if to say, I’m soooo cute.
Will jabber very insistently, using her hands to make a point and sometimes crossing her arms. She’s serious!
Runs with her hands behind her back sometimes.
Seriously loves beans. Black, pinto, refried, whatever.
Her curls make her hair seem shorter than it really is.
She’s looking a lot less like a baby and a lot more like a little girl these days. Once we find the cord that connects the digital camera to our computers, we’ll try to load some recent pictures.
She’d been saying “mama” and “da” or “a-da” for a while. Now she also says baby, ball, bear, and today she tried to say daddy. Sounded like “ahhh-dee.” Also tries to say “dog” but it sounds an awful lot like “da.”
She loves her dolls and bears. She hugs them and “puts them to bed.” She walks around with her “baby” and a blankie (or anything that could conceivably be considered a blankie, like a dish towel) and puts the baby on the floor and then covers them up. Sometimes she pats them. Then she gets up and does it over and over and over again.
She dusts, sweeps, and tries to help put things away. She is also wiping her hands and mouth with a napkin when she is done eating.
She’s gotten one molar. We suspect another is on the way.
She grooves down to the most godawful music. Loooooves to dance and will do this hilarious “thriller” shoulder move sometimes.
She takes care of the other babies at daycare, meaning if they start crying she will go pat their backs or hug them. There is a boy who has just transitioned into her pre-toddler class and he’s still learning to walk. She will guide him around and if he sits, she goes and brings toys to him.
There’s another little boy she dances with at daycare. They hold hands and go in a circle when there’s music playing.
She really loves animals and squeaks and points when she sees them. This includes, dogs, cats, squirrels, birds, whatever.
She’s pointing a lot in general these days, often at something she wants.
She’s really into shoes and bags (already!).
She is almost giving kisses with her mouth closed.
Stares at herself in the mirror and smiles as if to say, I’m soooo cute.
Will jabber very insistently, using her hands to make a point and sometimes crossing her arms. She’s serious!
Runs with her hands behind her back sometimes.
Seriously loves beans. Black, pinto, refried, whatever.
Her curls make her hair seem shorter than it really is.
She’s looking a lot less like a baby and a lot more like a little girl these days. Once we find the cord that connects the digital camera to our computers, we’ll try to load some recent pictures.
Transitioning from Transition
Back in April or so when we first talked about moving to Austin, I think Nate and I cycled through excitement, worry, stress, and happiness, then we started over again. We got organized, got rid of stuff, and got the house ready to put on the market. Obviously, we didn’t foresee the mortgage and financial meltdown that came to pass, but even still, I think we made the right choice.
Sometimes you’re in a place, maybe it’s a job, a marriage, or another kind of relationship, where things just don’t feel right. For me it was a city. Dallas just never fit me well. So while I miss our old house, 'cause it was large and comfy and we got it to where we wanted it, I haven’t missed Dallas at all, and despite the uncertainty of the past few months I’m glad we’re in Austin.
We were really lucky in that we have some very generous friends in Austin who let us infringe on their hospitality for a while and it made our transition here much easier to manage. As Nate mentioned in a recent blog post, we decided to get an apartment and we moved last weekend. Our Dallas real estate agent is a very optimistic person and has been painting our situation in a very good light (continued showings, good feedback) but Nate and I knew it was time to get realistic. With the market the way it is we had to make some choices because we couldn’t stay with our friends forever.
We’re considering a price cut and there’s another open house this Sunday. But we have to accept that it may not be the price or the house, but the market. I’ve heard that people are having a harder time getting financing now and with all the crazy news lately if I were a person who could wait to buy a house, I just might until some of the nuttiness died down. But who knows? In some ways it’s an excellent time to buy and it’s hard to navigate all these unknowns. So in addition to lowering the price we’re also considering trying to lease our house and maybe wait a year or two and see if the economy improves.
I sort of feel bad for our old house, like we’re trying to unload it. But it’s a good house. I miss those old oak floors, all the light and bright colors, and the great yard. But what can you do? You either move forward or you stay where you are and I didn’t want to do that. Staying felt like stagnating and like we weren’t being true to what we really wanted in our lives.
The new apartment is interesting because we live near Zilker, about a block away from where Nate and I lived when we first started dating. The other night we took Zoe on a walk to the hike and bike trail and everything felt so surreal. We were back in our old neighborhood, seven years later. It was like time had zoomed forward and skipped over the three years in Chicago, the almost-four years in Dallas, and here we were walking where we had walked before, only now with a baby. Trippy.
We’ve never lived in a place like this before. There was the three-flat in Chicago, the house we bought in Dallas, and now we’re in a large apartment complex. It’s apartment living, with its pros and cons, but it feels like another adventure.
I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with all the changes so I haven't written much. But I’m glad to be back, glad Zoe will grow up here, and glad we made the move, despite the little bumps we've hit along the way.
Sometimes you’re in a place, maybe it’s a job, a marriage, or another kind of relationship, where things just don’t feel right. For me it was a city. Dallas just never fit me well. So while I miss our old house, 'cause it was large and comfy and we got it to where we wanted it, I haven’t missed Dallas at all, and despite the uncertainty of the past few months I’m glad we’re in Austin.
We were really lucky in that we have some very generous friends in Austin who let us infringe on their hospitality for a while and it made our transition here much easier to manage. As Nate mentioned in a recent blog post, we decided to get an apartment and we moved last weekend. Our Dallas real estate agent is a very optimistic person and has been painting our situation in a very good light (continued showings, good feedback) but Nate and I knew it was time to get realistic. With the market the way it is we had to make some choices because we couldn’t stay with our friends forever.
We’re considering a price cut and there’s another open house this Sunday. But we have to accept that it may not be the price or the house, but the market. I’ve heard that people are having a harder time getting financing now and with all the crazy news lately if I were a person who could wait to buy a house, I just might until some of the nuttiness died down. But who knows? In some ways it’s an excellent time to buy and it’s hard to navigate all these unknowns. So in addition to lowering the price we’re also considering trying to lease our house and maybe wait a year or two and see if the economy improves.
I sort of feel bad for our old house, like we’re trying to unload it. But it’s a good house. I miss those old oak floors, all the light and bright colors, and the great yard. But what can you do? You either move forward or you stay where you are and I didn’t want to do that. Staying felt like stagnating and like we weren’t being true to what we really wanted in our lives.
The new apartment is interesting because we live near Zilker, about a block away from where Nate and I lived when we first started dating. The other night we took Zoe on a walk to the hike and bike trail and everything felt so surreal. We were back in our old neighborhood, seven years later. It was like time had zoomed forward and skipped over the three years in Chicago, the almost-four years in Dallas, and here we were walking where we had walked before, only now with a baby. Trippy.
We’ve never lived in a place like this before. There was the three-flat in Chicago, the house we bought in Dallas, and now we’re in a large apartment complex. It’s apartment living, with its pros and cons, but it feels like another adventure.
I've been feeling a little overwhelmed with all the changes so I haven't written much. But I’m glad to be back, glad Zoe will grow up here, and glad we made the move, despite the little bumps we've hit along the way.
Tuesday
Thinking About Schools
While we're waiting for our house to sell, Nate and I are scoping out neighborhoods. One of our top criteria for the search is schools. Zoe is only one year old, but we were in our last house for four years (and had just started feeling like we had the house where we wanted it) and expect to be in this next house for that amount of time or longer. In four years, she will start kindergarten, so even though it does seem somewhat ridiculous to worry about schools now, I really don't feel like moving again in four years if we don't have to. Also I'm old now. Time moves fast for me and four years doesn't seem very long at all.
House buying/school researching brings up a lot of issues, many based on race and/or class (duh). Today I just happened upon some different things that made me think of my current dilemma. This article made me laugh. Especially this part: "I often thought, you know, if I wanted to make some money, I could start a private school. I could start it out of my own house in Van Nuys and call it 'The Cottage' or 'The Bungalow.' And you know we've got mulberry trees around here, and they're dying, but we could call it 'The Mulberry Cottage.' And we could start a newsletter."
I, like many parents right now, have a lot of conflicting feelings about public school and parenthood in general. We are so careful with our children, this generation. We feed them organic, we debate about vaccination schedules, we shelter them to an amazing degree. The voices I hear myself using with Zoe sometimes make me cringe. 'Cause I think of our parents and grandparents who, quite honestly, expected us as children to be more self-sufficient. We were the latchkey generation, after all.
What are we so afraid of? I ask myself that as I look at schools and judge their statistics. My experience is colored by the fact that I did attend a private (Catholic) school during childhood and I had a great experience. The class sizes were small so I developed very close friendships with both classmates and teachers and I got a lot of attention academically. I was challenged. When I went to a public school in junior high, I was easily two-three years ahead of my peers.
And public school was a hard adjustment. Did it make me more prepared for the real world? Probably. But there was a lot more violence, a lot more leniency for bad behavior, and just a lot crap that got in the way of learning. Where I went to Catholic school, talking back, fighting, etc. were not tolerated at all. When I went to a public school, that kind of thing took up a lot of valuable time. Even back then I found it annoying, having to wait for kids who couldn't behave to calm down so we could finally get to what it was we were supposed to be doing.
But I, like so many other parents right now, am trying to balance my personal ideals (supporting the community/public schools) with what I think will be good longterm for Zoe.
That's another part. I know I am more careful than I need to be. I view her as a sweet baby, needing my protection. But apparently at daycare she is an "alpha" girl and has bitten other children twice. (They think it was teething related since it was during a week when her teeth really seemed to be bugging her, but still.) I've seen her take a swipe at boys when they touch her toys or whatever. And both the previous and current daycares have said, "Zoe can take care of herself." I probably assume she's more delicate than she really is.
House buying/school researching brings up a lot of issues, many based on race and/or class (duh). Today I just happened upon some different things that made me think of my current dilemma. This article made me laugh. Especially this part: "I often thought, you know, if I wanted to make some money, I could start a private school. I could start it out of my own house in Van Nuys and call it 'The Cottage' or 'The Bungalow.' And you know we've got mulberry trees around here, and they're dying, but we could call it 'The Mulberry Cottage.' And we could start a newsletter."
I, like many parents right now, have a lot of conflicting feelings about public school and parenthood in general. We are so careful with our children, this generation. We feed them organic, we debate about vaccination schedules, we shelter them to an amazing degree. The voices I hear myself using with Zoe sometimes make me cringe. 'Cause I think of our parents and grandparents who, quite honestly, expected us as children to be more self-sufficient. We were the latchkey generation, after all.
What are we so afraid of? I ask myself that as I look at schools and judge their statistics. My experience is colored by the fact that I did attend a private (Catholic) school during childhood and I had a great experience. The class sizes were small so I developed very close friendships with both classmates and teachers and I got a lot of attention academically. I was challenged. When I went to a public school in junior high, I was easily two-three years ahead of my peers.
And public school was a hard adjustment. Did it make me more prepared for the real world? Probably. But there was a lot more violence, a lot more leniency for bad behavior, and just a lot crap that got in the way of learning. Where I went to Catholic school, talking back, fighting, etc. were not tolerated at all. When I went to a public school, that kind of thing took up a lot of valuable time. Even back then I found it annoying, having to wait for kids who couldn't behave to calm down so we could finally get to what it was we were supposed to be doing.
But I, like so many other parents right now, am trying to balance my personal ideals (supporting the community/public schools) with what I think will be good longterm for Zoe.
That's another part. I know I am more careful than I need to be. I view her as a sweet baby, needing my protection. But apparently at daycare she is an "alpha" girl and has bitten other children twice. (They think it was teething related since it was during a week when her teeth really seemed to be bugging her, but still.) I've seen her take a swipe at boys when they touch her toys or whatever. And both the previous and current daycares have said, "Zoe can take care of herself." I probably assume she's more delicate than she really is.
Friday
More Waiting
Overall things in Austin have been going well. Nate and I both like our new jobs and are getting settled into our new roles. In general the job situation turned out much better than I expected. We both assumed that moving from a larger to a smaller market, we might have to take pay cuts and/or positions we might not be thrilled with, just to get down here. Instead, we are doing better financially (Nate got a raise; I stayed exactly the same) and we are excited about the jobs we landed and future opportunities they provide.
The hard thing has been selling the house. We found a service in Dallas that is sort of like a house sitter. They specialize in finding people who need short-term situations and don’t want to sign a lease (like a fellow home owner who has sold a house but hasn’t found a new one yet, or maybe their new place is undergoing extensive renovations). They live in your house and pay utilities and maintain the lawn. They pay low rent in exchange for living in a nice space. You continue to pay the mortgage and have the peace of mind knowing that your yard is being maintained and your house isn’t sitting empty. The agreement also includes them keeping the house ready to show with an hour’s notice at all times and carrying insurance, should something awful happen.
In our situation, we got an extra benefit. We can’t have our pets while we stay with friends in Austin. Nate’s brother has our dog Walker but we couldn’t find a place for our cat. Roscoe is a pain in the ass. He hunts like a serial killer, is loud as hell and wants to be let in or out at four in the morning without fail, and he isn’t good with other cats. These things all limited our options for temporary placement and we knew that keeping him in a kennel would make him miserable (he insists on spending most of his time outside). So we were really lucky that the guy who’s staying in our house has two indoor cats and was happy to take care of Roscoe as well. That was a huge weight off our shoulders.
These are all good things. But now that we have a tenant (so to speak), he’s the one who gets the phone calls for showings. We have no sense how often our house is being shown or what is going on. We spoke with our realtor yesterday and she is going to send a report of recent showings. We also found out that someone saw our house last weekend and requested the seller’s disclosure report, which our agent says is usually a good sign.
So, we wait. That is something neither of us is very good at. I think we both get impatient, but not at the same time usually. Our agent thinks we should wait to see what happens after Labor Day because in her experience, things tend to slow down in July and August and pick up in the fall. I think we will wait a little longer, but are considering looking for an apartment. Staying with our friends has been great. They are very kind and generous. But living as a guest has also made our time in Austin seem sort of temporary. We don’t feel fully like residents yet and I suspect that having our own place would help us feel a little more settled. We’ll see what the coming weeks bring, but I’m not sure we’ll wait much longer. Nate and I aren’t that good at waiting patiently without taking any action. I can’t wait to feel like this is really my city again, and the place where Zoe will grow up.
The hard thing has been selling the house. We found a service in Dallas that is sort of like a house sitter. They specialize in finding people who need short-term situations and don’t want to sign a lease (like a fellow home owner who has sold a house but hasn’t found a new one yet, or maybe their new place is undergoing extensive renovations). They live in your house and pay utilities and maintain the lawn. They pay low rent in exchange for living in a nice space. You continue to pay the mortgage and have the peace of mind knowing that your yard is being maintained and your house isn’t sitting empty. The agreement also includes them keeping the house ready to show with an hour’s notice at all times and carrying insurance, should something awful happen.
In our situation, we got an extra benefit. We can’t have our pets while we stay with friends in Austin. Nate’s brother has our dog Walker but we couldn’t find a place for our cat. Roscoe is a pain in the ass. He hunts like a serial killer, is loud as hell and wants to be let in or out at four in the morning without fail, and he isn’t good with other cats. These things all limited our options for temporary placement and we knew that keeping him in a kennel would make him miserable (he insists on spending most of his time outside). So we were really lucky that the guy who’s staying in our house has two indoor cats and was happy to take care of Roscoe as well. That was a huge weight off our shoulders.
These are all good things. But now that we have a tenant (so to speak), he’s the one who gets the phone calls for showings. We have no sense how often our house is being shown or what is going on. We spoke with our realtor yesterday and she is going to send a report of recent showings. We also found out that someone saw our house last weekend and requested the seller’s disclosure report, which our agent says is usually a good sign.
So, we wait. That is something neither of us is very good at. I think we both get impatient, but not at the same time usually. Our agent thinks we should wait to see what happens after Labor Day because in her experience, things tend to slow down in July and August and pick up in the fall. I think we will wait a little longer, but are considering looking for an apartment. Staying with our friends has been great. They are very kind and generous. But living as a guest has also made our time in Austin seem sort of temporary. We don’t feel fully like residents yet and I suspect that having our own place would help us feel a little more settled. We’ll see what the coming weeks bring, but I’m not sure we’ll wait much longer. Nate and I aren’t that good at waiting patiently without taking any action. I can’t wait to feel like this is really my city again, and the place where Zoe will grow up.
Monday
Five Years
Four rings
Three cities
Six jobs
Two apartments
Two houses
Three pets
and one baby later ... we're still here.
Friday
Peer Group
The advantage of working with people who are all within 2-3 years of each other in age: Friday afternoon mix includes "Baby Got Back" and your co-worker turns it up.
"I like big butts and I cannot lie!"
TGIF.
"I like big butts and I cannot lie!"
TGIF.
Monday
Almost there ...
Nate has been here since last Wednesday and we are having a good time in Austin. I got out of work early on Friday and we spent a leisurely lunch at Shady Grove. It almost felt like the last seven years or so were rewound and we were back where we started, enjoying a meal a few blocks away from where we used to live on Robert E. Lee. We spent the rest of the weekend hanging out, running errands, and getting ready for the week and Nate’s first day at a new job.
Zoe got really clingy with him on Sunday night, crying if he walked out of the room and wanting him to hold her a lot. This might be giving a 14-month-old too much credit, but I wondered if she was sensing that it was the end of the weekend/Sunday evening and that is the time Nate normally leaves (or we do). Poor monkey. Good news is that no one is leaving after the weekend anymore.
Now all we have to do is sell the house in Dallas. Our realtor warned us that July is very slow and it has been. Not many showings compared to before. But we have found jobs in a bad market. I’m hoping we can sell a house in one. That’s all that’s left to do! (Other than hauling our stuff down here, but that’s easy compared to everything else.)
This coming weekend is our fifth anniversary. I guess I lied when I said there would be no more weekend leave-taking, since I think Zoe will spend one or two nights with her grandparents, cousins, and uncle and aunt while we celebrate by staying at the hotel where we got married. It really does feel like we are coming full circle in so many ways, and once we have a house here it will feel more permanent and less like a vacation, I think.
Zoe got really clingy with him on Sunday night, crying if he walked out of the room and wanting him to hold her a lot. This might be giving a 14-month-old too much credit, but I wondered if she was sensing that it was the end of the weekend/Sunday evening and that is the time Nate normally leaves (or we do). Poor monkey. Good news is that no one is leaving after the weekend anymore.
Now all we have to do is sell the house in Dallas. Our realtor warned us that July is very slow and it has been. Not many showings compared to before. But we have found jobs in a bad market. I’m hoping we can sell a house in one. That’s all that’s left to do! (Other than hauling our stuff down here, but that’s easy compared to everything else.)
This coming weekend is our fifth anniversary. I guess I lied when I said there would be no more weekend leave-taking, since I think Zoe will spend one or two nights with her grandparents, cousins, and uncle and aunt while we celebrate by staying at the hotel where we got married. It really does feel like we are coming full circle in so many ways, and once we have a house here it will feel more permanent and less like a vacation, I think.
Tuesday
Memed
Katy tagged me, so here goes.
What I was Doing Ten Years Ago
I was working for a travel publisher in downtown Austin, unhappy because I wasn’t getting many writing or editing opportunities. I had had one assignment—a trip to Huatulco, Mexico—but was told there was little hope for anything else in the near or uncertain future. I applied for a job as a part-time copyeditor at citysearch around this time and would start in August 1998.
Five Snacks I Enjoy
1. crackers and cheese
2. popcorn
3. cereal
4. mac and cheese
5. chips
Five Things On My To-do List Today
1. try to rehome our cat
2. fill out cell phone rebate paperwork
3. pick up a few things at the store
4. freelance work
5. pay bills
Five Favorite Recipes
1. pasta salad
2. chicken and brown rice casserole
3. chicken corn chowder
4. spaghetti with butter, parmesan and red pepper flakes
5. lentil soup
Five Jobs I’ve Had
1. writer
2. editor
3. copyeditor
4. cashier
5. customer service rep
Five Bad Habits
1. procrastination
2. staying up too late
3. drinking too much caffeine
4. saying yes to too many things
5. restlessness
All The Places I’ve Lived
1. Sweetwater, TX
2. Midland, TX
3. Austin, TX
4. Guanajuato, Mexico
5. Miami, FL
6. Chicago, IL
7. Dallas, TX
Five Random Things About Me
1. I read fast and if I don’t have to do anything else can finish a book in a day, even long ones.
2. I like spicy food.
3. I used to be pretty good at basketball, despite my lack of height.
4. I like to garden now and miss having a yard.
5. I used to be afraid of dogs.
Five People I’m Tagging
Nobody. But if you feel like filling this out, send me a link!
What I was Doing Ten Years Ago
I was working for a travel publisher in downtown Austin, unhappy because I wasn’t getting many writing or editing opportunities. I had had one assignment—a trip to Huatulco, Mexico—but was told there was little hope for anything else in the near or uncertain future. I applied for a job as a part-time copyeditor at citysearch around this time and would start in August 1998.
Five Snacks I Enjoy
1. crackers and cheese
2. popcorn
3. cereal
4. mac and cheese
5. chips
Five Things On My To-do List Today
1. try to rehome our cat
2. fill out cell phone rebate paperwork
3. pick up a few things at the store
4. freelance work
5. pay bills
Five Favorite Recipes
1. pasta salad
2. chicken and brown rice casserole
3. chicken corn chowder
4. spaghetti with butter, parmesan and red pepper flakes
5. lentil soup
Five Jobs I’ve Had
1. writer
2. editor
3. copyeditor
4. cashier
5. customer service rep
Five Bad Habits
1. procrastination
2. staying up too late
3. drinking too much caffeine
4. saying yes to too many things
5. restlessness
All The Places I’ve Lived
1. Sweetwater, TX
2. Midland, TX
3. Austin, TX
4. Guanajuato, Mexico
5. Miami, FL
6. Chicago, IL
7. Dallas, TX
Five Random Things About Me
1. I read fast and if I don’t have to do anything else can finish a book in a day, even long ones.
2. I like spicy food.
3. I used to be pretty good at basketball, despite my lack of height.
4. I like to garden now and miss having a yard.
5. I used to be afraid of dogs.
Five People I’m Tagging
Nobody. But if you feel like filling this out, send me a link!
Sunday
Two Out of Three
I've been living in Austin for about a month. Zoe joined me one week into the stay and Nate and I have been taking turns traveling the Austin-Dallas route, except for last weekend. We had planned to continue this arrangment until he got a job or the house sold. He got a job first, so he'll be joining us in two weeks. Pretty exciting.
The house continues to have regular showings (in six weeks, we've had about 30) but no offers. Our price per square foot is average for the neighborhood and we have gotten very little feedback so we're not sure if there's anything we should change. So we keep on keeping on.
Zoe adjusted very well to her new daycare. She didn't cry the first week and the new daycare peeps said something along the lines of, "if only they all transitioned that easily!"
She is starting to be a little kid now. Her babbles are starting to sound more like words and sometimes it sounds as though she's trying to repeat what you've just said. She also "brushes" her teeth, including pretending to put paste on her brush and tapping it against the sink when she's done. Good stuff.
She also continues to be very friendly, which sometimes freaks me out a little as a mom. Yesterday Nate was visiting and we went to a sushi restaurant for lunch. Immediately our waitress was talking and cooing with Zoe and I got the definite vibe she had grandkids. She brought miso soup and rice over for Zoe, "free of charge!" she assured us, and she kept making funny noises and faces at Z. Zoe was smiling back and seemed to like her so I moved her over so she'd be closer to the waitress and the waitress was off. She picked up Zoe, walked off, and began taking her around the restaurant. This is the second time this has happened to us in a sushi restaurant (the first was in Dallas), so I'm wondering if this is a cultural thing. The good news: eventually the waitress brought our child back, along with this interesting cinnamon punch thing I've never had before.
Other Zoe funniness: she has started picking up my shirt to poke my belly button, which she finds very funny for some reason, and she tries to give me zerberts on my stomach, but hasn't quite figured out how.
A first is that she flew with me for the first time last weekend. The exception to our Austin/Dallas trips was a family reunion in Oklahoma City. Nate drove from Dallas and we flew from Austin to meet him there. I was really worried about the flight. Among other things, Zoe has started throwing the occasional tantrum and I thought it would be a huge pain to deal with while flying. To make things worse, both flights required a connecting flight/change in Dallas and the return flight had a 3.5 hour layover in DFW. So, I worried. And ... nothing happened. She slept during most of three of the four flights. First reaction upon looking out of the airplane once we we were airborn: laughter. I think total crying time for the entire trip was less than one minute. I was pretty amazed.
During that long layover, I happened upon a little play area in DFW and I let her get some of her energy out. She had a lot of fun playing with some bigger kids, but made a beeline for a little girl a couple of months younger. Almost immediately she began hugging the little girl and then "kissing" her cheek. Zoe's kisses involve her putting her open mouth on your face and that's about it. In her new daycare, it's almost all little boys in her class, so Zoe seems to glom onto little girls who come into her orbit.
The biggest compliment I got was during the final leg of the trip, from DFW to Austin. We were seated between two beefy UT college boys (Zoe traveled on my lap). They kind of had that, "oh, great, a baby," look on their faces when we sat down. Zoe started drinking her milk, the flight took off and she slept until the landing gear startled her awake. She gave a little cry, I gave her her paci, and that was that. When we had taxied to the gate, one of the college guys turned and said, "she's so good." Since he's part of demographic that is probably avoiding babies at this point in life, it seemed like a nice thing to say.
I guess I should stop bragging on the child but the only people who read this blog are her grandmas so I have to keep them up to date!
Everything else is going well. I'm really happy about being in Austin and looking forward to Nate joining us so we can really enjoy the city (esp. without one of us traveling every weekend). My job is going well and his new position sounds like it's a good step for him. All that's left now is selling the house.
A few friends, when hearing the news that we were both trying to find jobs and sell our house in this current market, said we were crazy for trying right now. Well, two out of three big tasks isn't too bad. Just one more to go.
The house continues to have regular showings (in six weeks, we've had about 30) but no offers. Our price per square foot is average for the neighborhood and we have gotten very little feedback so we're not sure if there's anything we should change. So we keep on keeping on.
Zoe adjusted very well to her new daycare. She didn't cry the first week and the new daycare peeps said something along the lines of, "if only they all transitioned that easily!"
She is starting to be a little kid now. Her babbles are starting to sound more like words and sometimes it sounds as though she's trying to repeat what you've just said. She also "brushes" her teeth, including pretending to put paste on her brush and tapping it against the sink when she's done. Good stuff.
She also continues to be very friendly, which sometimes freaks me out a little as a mom. Yesterday Nate was visiting and we went to a sushi restaurant for lunch. Immediately our waitress was talking and cooing with Zoe and I got the definite vibe she had grandkids. She brought miso soup and rice over for Zoe, "free of charge!" she assured us, and she kept making funny noises and faces at Z. Zoe was smiling back and seemed to like her so I moved her over so she'd be closer to the waitress and the waitress was off. She picked up Zoe, walked off, and began taking her around the restaurant. This is the second time this has happened to us in a sushi restaurant (the first was in Dallas), so I'm wondering if this is a cultural thing. The good news: eventually the waitress brought our child back, along with this interesting cinnamon punch thing I've never had before.
Other Zoe funniness: she has started picking up my shirt to poke my belly button, which she finds very funny for some reason, and she tries to give me zerberts on my stomach, but hasn't quite figured out how.
A first is that she flew with me for the first time last weekend. The exception to our Austin/Dallas trips was a family reunion in Oklahoma City. Nate drove from Dallas and we flew from Austin to meet him there. I was really worried about the flight. Among other things, Zoe has started throwing the occasional tantrum and I thought it would be a huge pain to deal with while flying. To make things worse, both flights required a connecting flight/change in Dallas and the return flight had a 3.5 hour layover in DFW. So, I worried. And ... nothing happened. She slept during most of three of the four flights. First reaction upon looking out of the airplane once we we were airborn: laughter. I think total crying time for the entire trip was less than one minute. I was pretty amazed.
During that long layover, I happened upon a little play area in DFW and I let her get some of her energy out. She had a lot of fun playing with some bigger kids, but made a beeline for a little girl a couple of months younger. Almost immediately she began hugging the little girl and then "kissing" her cheek. Zoe's kisses involve her putting her open mouth on your face and that's about it. In her new daycare, it's almost all little boys in her class, so Zoe seems to glom onto little girls who come into her orbit.
The biggest compliment I got was during the final leg of the trip, from DFW to Austin. We were seated between two beefy UT college boys (Zoe traveled on my lap). They kind of had that, "oh, great, a baby," look on their faces when we sat down. Zoe started drinking her milk, the flight took off and she slept until the landing gear startled her awake. She gave a little cry, I gave her her paci, and that was that. When we had taxied to the gate, one of the college guys turned and said, "she's so good." Since he's part of demographic that is probably avoiding babies at this point in life, it seemed like a nice thing to say.
I guess I should stop bragging on the child but the only people who read this blog are her grandmas so I have to keep them up to date!
Everything else is going well. I'm really happy about being in Austin and looking forward to Nate joining us so we can really enjoy the city (esp. without one of us traveling every weekend). My job is going well and his new position sounds like it's a good step for him. All that's left now is selling the house.
A few friends, when hearing the news that we were both trying to find jobs and sell our house in this current market, said we were crazy for trying right now. Well, two out of three big tasks isn't too bad. Just one more to go.
Thursday
Austin
I've been here since last Friday or so. Nate and Zoe came with me for the weekend. On Saturday, we decided to take Zoe to Deep Eddy, a natural, spring-fed pool (no chlorine). We walked up to the front desk and I asked the guy if they were cash only. Yes. Did he know if there was an ATM around? Yes; he directed us to a gas station up the street. "But don't worry about it," he said, waving us through, "just remember to bring cash next time."
So Austin. Then I saw a mom breastfeeding openly and no one even giving her a second look and tons of kids having a great time. I thought: yeah, even though this is tough, we're making the right decision.
The water is cold, 68 degrees year round. As soon as Zoe was in the pool, she started squeaking and giggling and having a great old time. She's in a very independent phase and doesn't want you to hold her hand or guide her, and sometimes she would lose her balance and fall. We usually caught her before she went in, but she did swallow water a couple of times and then would want to be carried. I've since bought her a little floatie thing she can sit in so she can explore the water more and not fall in.
In general, I'm very happy to be back in Austin, even though there are things about it that have been difficult. Zoe is home with Nate until tomorrow. She will start a new daycare here on Monday. And Nate will be in Dallas until the house sells, or at least until we get a bid. It's been very hard being away from my family. I don't recommend it.
The funny thing is, I fell back into my old bad habits immediately. My first night alone I stayed up until 5 a.m. reading a book. The next night, 2 a.m. I'm drinking too much coffee again. I'm sure next week when Zoe is with me, I will fall back into our typical, baby-centric schedule. You have to. You never know when she will get sick or have a bad night and not sleep well. It is painful if you've stayed up late and then have to get up several times during the night with a cranky baby.
This transition is tough, but I'm hoping it won't last too long. Periods like this feel very unsettling. You're waiting for various things to happen so your "real life" can begin. I hope our house sells. In about 2.5 weeks, it's been seen 13 times, so hopefully someone will make an offer soon.
So Austin. Then I saw a mom breastfeeding openly and no one even giving her a second look and tons of kids having a great time. I thought: yeah, even though this is tough, we're making the right decision.
The water is cold, 68 degrees year round. As soon as Zoe was in the pool, she started squeaking and giggling and having a great old time. She's in a very independent phase and doesn't want you to hold her hand or guide her, and sometimes she would lose her balance and fall. We usually caught her before she went in, but she did swallow water a couple of times and then would want to be carried. I've since bought her a little floatie thing she can sit in so she can explore the water more and not fall in.
In general, I'm very happy to be back in Austin, even though there are things about it that have been difficult. Zoe is home with Nate until tomorrow. She will start a new daycare here on Monday. And Nate will be in Dallas until the house sells, or at least until we get a bid. It's been very hard being away from my family. I don't recommend it.
The funny thing is, I fell back into my old bad habits immediately. My first night alone I stayed up until 5 a.m. reading a book. The next night, 2 a.m. I'm drinking too much coffee again. I'm sure next week when Zoe is with me, I will fall back into our typical, baby-centric schedule. You have to. You never know when she will get sick or have a bad night and not sleep well. It is painful if you've stayed up late and then have to get up several times during the night with a cranky baby.
This transition is tough, but I'm hoping it won't last too long. Periods like this feel very unsettling. You're waiting for various things to happen so your "real life" can begin. I hope our house sells. In about 2.5 weeks, it's been seen 13 times, so hopefully someone will make an offer soon.
Wednesday
For Zoe
Before you were born, I thought I wanted a boy. I grew up with a lot of male relatives and I was convinced a boy would be easier. I was shocked when the sonogram revealed a girl, and it took me awhile to get used to the idea. I now think you're so perfect, I consider myself an idiot for ever having any doubts about how utterly amazing I would find you.
This is the hair-do that inspired us to name you Zoe. When they brought you to us in the hospital, you had a mohawk. Even though your hair was a superficial thing, it somehow seems like a good early indicator of your personality.
You are incredibly, ridiculously friendly. I call you a baby stalker because when we are in restaurant or other public place, you will zero in on someone and stare at them until they talk to you. When we were at the caucus in March, you did this to the woman sitting next to us and when she finally succumbed, you tried to crawl into her lap. Later while we stood in line, you did the same thing to a woman behind us, staring and staring till she finally paid attention to you.
This was when you fit on a pillow. Now you are a big girl, 90th percentile in height the doctor says. You typically wear clothes about six months ahead of your current age.
Other things are changing. You're entering a clingy phase (separation anxiety right on schedule, according to Baby Center). You cry when I leave the room; you want to be held, oh no, wait, you want to go on the floor, oh no, you really actually want me to hold you, oh wait ... I'm sure that moving to a new town and daycare are great for this (I'm sorry!) but I do think you'll like growing up in Austin.
You have gotten the hang of the walking thing. But now you're so excited about walking that you try to run and sometimes fall.
You have had a bloody nose and a bloody lip from falls on my watch. Your father has been luckier, no blood.
You really like to eat. Always have. When you were breastfeeding, you would sigh and grunt and smack. Now all of your teachers say, "She's a good eater." I haven't found anything you don't like yet (except cow's milk). Although when you are done with something, you'll throw it off your high chair with perfect dismissiveness.
You still smack your food when you really like what you're eating.
You mostly behave very well in restaurants, unless it is close to nap or bedtime.
You hadn't had sweets until your birthday and now you looooove cake and cupcakes (though you sleep like crap afterward).
You make "jokes," like putting food in my mouth and then laughing when you look for it and it's gone. I guess you got that liking to eat from somewhere ...
You have started hugging people by grabbing onto their legs.
You love to snuggy.
You've only been around for a year, a fact I find hard to believe. It seems strange, for example, that you weren't with us when we got married. I guess you were, in a way ...
I had my tarot cards read a couple of months ago. I was told that you are going to be very creative, an exceptional person, and that I need to prepare myself for that fact that you will know more than I do (what parent doesn't want to hear how fabulous their child will be?). "Don't get in her way," I was advised. "She'll know what she needs to do. Just be there, behind her, in case she falls from time to time."
I've had good practice, watching you learn to walk and fall and even get a little bloody at times. So I'll try to not get in the way of the person you are going to be, mohawked, friendly, foodie, funny, perfect.
This is the hair-do that inspired us to name you Zoe. When they brought you to us in the hospital, you had a mohawk. Even though your hair was a superficial thing, it somehow seems like a good early indicator of your personality.
You are incredibly, ridiculously friendly. I call you a baby stalker because when we are in restaurant or other public place, you will zero in on someone and stare at them until they talk to you. When we were at the caucus in March, you did this to the woman sitting next to us and when she finally succumbed, you tried to crawl into her lap. Later while we stood in line, you did the same thing to a woman behind us, staring and staring till she finally paid attention to you.
This was when you fit on a pillow. Now you are a big girl, 90th percentile in height the doctor says. You typically wear clothes about six months ahead of your current age.
Other things are changing. You're entering a clingy phase (separation anxiety right on schedule, according to Baby Center). You cry when I leave the room; you want to be held, oh no, wait, you want to go on the floor, oh no, you really actually want me to hold you, oh wait ... I'm sure that moving to a new town and daycare are great for this (I'm sorry!) but I do think you'll like growing up in Austin.
You have gotten the hang of the walking thing. But now you're so excited about walking that you try to run and sometimes fall.
You have had a bloody nose and a bloody lip from falls on my watch. Your father has been luckier, no blood.
You really like to eat. Always have. When you were breastfeeding, you would sigh and grunt and smack. Now all of your teachers say, "She's a good eater." I haven't found anything you don't like yet (except cow's milk). Although when you are done with something, you'll throw it off your high chair with perfect dismissiveness.
You still smack your food when you really like what you're eating.
You mostly behave very well in restaurants, unless it is close to nap or bedtime.
You hadn't had sweets until your birthday and now you looooove cake and cupcakes (though you sleep like crap afterward).
You make "jokes," like putting food in my mouth and then laughing when you look for it and it's gone. I guess you got that liking to eat from somewhere ...
You have started hugging people by grabbing onto their legs.
You love to snuggy.
You've only been around for a year, a fact I find hard to believe. It seems strange, for example, that you weren't with us when we got married. I guess you were, in a way ...
I had my tarot cards read a couple of months ago. I was told that you are going to be very creative, an exceptional person, and that I need to prepare myself for that fact that you will know more than I do (what parent doesn't want to hear how fabulous their child will be?). "Don't get in her way," I was advised. "She'll know what she needs to do. Just be there, behind her, in case she falls from time to time."
I've had good practice, watching you learn to walk and fall and even get a little bloody at times. So I'll try to not get in the way of the person you are going to be, mohawked, friendly, foodie, funny, perfect.
Tuesday
Ch-ch-changes
A lot has happened over the past few weeks. My baby had her first birthday. I didn't have too much time to dwell on this because:
I'm moving to Austin.
We got our house ready and put it on the market just before Memorial Day weekend. This included a garage sale, clearing out a bunch of stuff and donating it to Goodwill, emptying and painting a couple of rooms. You can see the pictures on my flickr page. Now I need to pack.
I found a daycare for Zoe. I haven't toured it yet, though, and that makes me nervous. I'm on the waiting lists of others that have been recommended to me.
We drove to Midland for the holiday.
I think I broke my toe yesterday. It's bruised and swollen and hurts like hell when I put any weight on it.
I'm getting a tattoo after work.
Our XBox broke earlier today.
I'm not sure what else has happened but the past few weeks have been a blur. Zoe and I will be going to Austin the weekend of June 6. Nate will be following with the pets once the house sells and/or things are a little more settled in that area. Wish us luck.
I'm moving to Austin.
We got our house ready and put it on the market just before Memorial Day weekend. This included a garage sale, clearing out a bunch of stuff and donating it to Goodwill, emptying and painting a couple of rooms. You can see the pictures on my flickr page. Now I need to pack.
I found a daycare for Zoe. I haven't toured it yet, though, and that makes me nervous. I'm on the waiting lists of others that have been recommended to me.
We drove to Midland for the holiday.
I think I broke my toe yesterday. It's bruised and swollen and hurts like hell when I put any weight on it.
I'm getting a tattoo after work.
Our XBox broke earlier today.
I'm not sure what else has happened but the past few weeks have been a blur. Zoe and I will be going to Austin the weekend of June 6. Nate will be following with the pets once the house sells and/or things are a little more settled in that area. Wish us luck.
Wednesday
Walking and Talking and Meat
The last couple of weeks have been a blur, so I haven't mentioned that Zoe seems to be walking. Or toddling, at least. She started by taking one or two steps on her own and now can take up to about 10. She's very dainty, walking on her toes with her arms held out as though she were walking a tightrope. She gets very happy when she takes several steps without falling. Sometimes she claps for herself.
She says what sounds like "mom" and "da" or "a-da." She loves music and will rock or wiggle to the beat. If she particularly likes a song, she'll squeal. Her teachers think she needs to get into a dance class as soon as she's old enough.
In parent news, we had a yard sale last weekend and cleared out the garage. This weekend we plan on doing a lot of yard work. Since Zoe was born I haven't kept up enough with all of my flower beds. Things are getting out of control. I want to catch up because so many things are blooming in the yard and I'd hate for the pretty flowers to get overshadowed by the weeds.
Also, in a puzzling turn of events, I've been having a hard time eating meat lately. I'm normally an eager carnivore, but I seem to have lost my taste for pork and this past weekend I couldn't eat a burger. I haven't had a problem with chicken yet, but I find myself ordering lots of vegetable-heavy meals and focusing on sides when I do have a meat entrée. I don't know what to make of it.
She says what sounds like "mom" and "da" or "a-da." She loves music and will rock or wiggle to the beat. If she particularly likes a song, she'll squeal. Her teachers think she needs to get into a dance class as soon as she's old enough.
In parent news, we had a yard sale last weekend and cleared out the garage. This weekend we plan on doing a lot of yard work. Since Zoe was born I haven't kept up enough with all of my flower beds. Things are getting out of control. I want to catch up because so many things are blooming in the yard and I'd hate for the pretty flowers to get overshadowed by the weeds.
Also, in a puzzling turn of events, I've been having a hard time eating meat lately. I'm normally an eager carnivore, but I seem to have lost my taste for pork and this past weekend I couldn't eat a burger. I haven't had a problem with chicken yet, but I find myself ordering lots of vegetable-heavy meals and focusing on sides when I do have a meat entrée. I don't know what to make of it.
Friday
Zoe Will Hurt You
Maybe. When I picked her up from daycare yesterday, the afternoon teacher shook her head and said, "Zoe's gonna be a handful once she starts walking." I said, "She already is," but asked what she meant. She said, "When the older kids try to take toys from her, she stands-to." Then she did this sort of aggressive stance, throwing back her shoulders, in an imitation of what Zoe does, I guess. I wouldn't know. I don't really see her around kids her age regularly. Then she said, "And she's so little!" (Zoe is the second youngest in the class.)
Then the teacher talked about how Zoe is close to walking. She cruises and lets go of things. She also thinks Zoe is close to talking, too, because she babbles a lot, especially it seems, if someone is trying to take her toy. "Zoe stands her ground," she repeated.
It would be interesting to see her around other kids her age. I only see them during the drop off/pick up, which isn't a great time to gauge interaction. Doesn't surprise me she has a temper, though. I always suspected she would. She's going to have all of our best and worst qualities, I think.
Then the teacher talked about how Zoe is close to walking. She cruises and lets go of things. She also thinks Zoe is close to talking, too, because she babbles a lot, especially it seems, if someone is trying to take her toy. "Zoe stands her ground," she repeated.
It would be interesting to see her around other kids her age. I only see them during the drop off/pick up, which isn't a great time to gauge interaction. Doesn't surprise me she has a temper, though. I always suspected she would. She's going to have all of our best and worst qualities, I think.
Two Articles
I came across two different pieces today, both of which made me pause to think, and both are related to military service.
The first is "Battle Company Is Out There," from the NY Times. It's a wrenching piece focusing on the soldiers of Battle Company of the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team. While I was reading it, I kept thinking, I may have a bad day at work, but never have I had to decide if another human lives or dies. And I've never had to live with doing the "right" thing that may later result in the loss of a team member and friend. It's a brutal world they're living in, and we're back here bitching about traffic.
The second story is about patriotism and service and putting your life where your mouth is.
The first is "Battle Company Is Out There," from the NY Times. It's a wrenching piece focusing on the soldiers of Battle Company of the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team. While I was reading it, I kept thinking, I may have a bad day at work, but never have I had to decide if another human lives or dies. And I've never had to live with doing the "right" thing that may later result in the loss of a team member and friend. It's a brutal world they're living in, and we're back here bitching about traffic.
The second story is about patriotism and service and putting your life where your mouth is.
Monday
Double Standards
"So, forty-three white male presidents to date, and Geraldine Ferraro says Obama's gotten where he is because he's black?" Check out the rest of ZZ Packer's essay.
"So, forty-three white male presidents to date, and Geraldine Ferraro says Obama's gotten where he is because he's black?" Check out the rest of ZZ Packer's essay.
Wednesday
Sittin' a Spell
I am in the calm space right now, just before and just after a spate of activity. I think most parents of young children feel like they're constantly runningrunningrunning and trying to catch up, but I have a little space now, in this moment before the craziness begins. Maybe the craziness won't come like I think it will, but it feels like it's just there, over the horizon, a bunch of things that will need to get done, quickly.
We just got back from a three-day Easter trip to Austin. We didn't see everyone we'd hoped to see and I knew that was likely given the holiday weekend, but we did go visiting a lot. Zoe met a couple of kids close to her age (roughly); several of our friends have had babies. She had a blast. Zoe's a pretty social creature, and she liked meeting the new people. She also tried to poke a lot of eyeballs. She's going through a phase, I suspect. She's fascinated with faces in general and eyes in particular.
Spring in Texas is beautiful and the weather in Austin was cooperative. As we drove around town, we saw so many people out and about in Austin--riding bikes, walking, jogging, kayaking, flying kites. It just seemed like everyone heard the call at the same time: come play outside. We joined them outdoors. Zoe was introduced to both a hammock and a trampoline. She almost fell asleep in the hammock; the trampoline had the opposite effect.
My favorite thing about spring is all the renewal in the air. I'm hopeful some of that comes my way. I think it will. I think that's why I feel all that activity looming, waiting for it's turn.
I am in the calm space right now, just before and just after a spate of activity. I think most parents of young children feel like they're constantly runningrunningrunning and trying to catch up, but I have a little space now, in this moment before the craziness begins. Maybe the craziness won't come like I think it will, but it feels like it's just there, over the horizon, a bunch of things that will need to get done, quickly.
We just got back from a three-day Easter trip to Austin. We didn't see everyone we'd hoped to see and I knew that was likely given the holiday weekend, but we did go visiting a lot. Zoe met a couple of kids close to her age (roughly); several of our friends have had babies. She had a blast. Zoe's a pretty social creature, and she liked meeting the new people. She also tried to poke a lot of eyeballs. She's going through a phase, I suspect. She's fascinated with faces in general and eyes in particular.
Spring in Texas is beautiful and the weather in Austin was cooperative. As we drove around town, we saw so many people out and about in Austin--riding bikes, walking, jogging, kayaking, flying kites. It just seemed like everyone heard the call at the same time: come play outside. We joined them outdoors. Zoe was introduced to both a hammock and a trampoline. She almost fell asleep in the hammock; the trampoline had the opposite effect.
My favorite thing about spring is all the renewal in the air. I'm hopeful some of that comes my way. I think it will. I think that's why I feel all that activity looming, waiting for it's turn.
Monday
Imposing
"Every couple of years, I’ll ask a friend or two to read a manuscript, and it happens. You can see it in their eyes. 'I hope it’s better than his last one. Or at least shorter.' I know what they’re thinking because that’s what I’m thinking when they ask me. 'How much is this friendship worth, in terms of page count?'"
From the essay "I Write in Brooklyn. Get Over It." by Colson Whitehead.
That essay definitely made me think of all the kind friends who read my manuscript to give me feedback. First they read the 535-page version, then they read the 379-page version. A lot to read, either way. Hopefully they thought the friendship was worth that much in page count. Hopefully.
From the essay "I Write in Brooklyn. Get Over It." by Colson Whitehead.
That essay definitely made me think of all the kind friends who read my manuscript to give me feedback. First they read the 535-page version, then they read the 379-page version. A lot to read, either way. Hopefully they thought the friendship was worth that much in page count. Hopefully.
Thursday
Movin' On Up
Yesterday, we got the letter from daycare. Zoe is moving from the infant to the toddler room in a little over a week. She will rejoin some of her buddies who were older and moved ahead of her, and she is making the transition with another little girl in the infant class, so that should help make things easier.
The letter made me a little sad. Of course I know moving is inevitable and a good thing, but it's also another sign she's growing up. (If only she slept through the night--that would be a sign I'd be more than happy to welcome!)
I also have to buy some shoes for Zoe now. The toddlers go on buggy rides a couple of times a day, and that includes going outside if the weather permits. Zoe has a couple of pairs of shoes, but since I can't even keep socks on the child I haven't really pushed shoes yet. I guess that, too, will change.
I guess the infant room teachers will miss her, because they told Nate yesterday and me today that we need to give Zoe some siblings.
The letter made me a little sad. Of course I know moving is inevitable and a good thing, but it's also another sign she's growing up. (If only she slept through the night--that would be a sign I'd be more than happy to welcome!)
I also have to buy some shoes for Zoe now. The toddlers go on buggy rides a couple of times a day, and that includes going outside if the weather permits. Zoe has a couple of pairs of shoes, but since I can't even keep socks on the child I haven't really pushed shoes yet. I guess that, too, will change.
I guess the infant room teachers will miss her, because they told Nate yesterday and me today that we need to give Zoe some siblings.
Friday
One Love
I find myself feeling about Dallas the way I felt about Midland while I was growing up: biding my time while I find a way to get out. There are things I like about this city. There are always pluses and minuses to any situation, and in many ways I’ve been lucky here. But I still find myself looking for the back door.
I’ve been reading Dawn Powell’s diaries. In one entry she wrote, “There is really one city for everyone just as there is one major love.”
I first visited Austin when I was 16 years old. In many ways, that trip changed my life. My high school boyfriend invited me to visit his family and one of the people I met was his grandfather. For the first time, I met someone who made his living as an artist. I had always loved to read and write, but never considered the fact that real people might actually be writers or artists. Meeting Charles made that kind of life seem possible, if not necessarily easy.
The visit also included trips to Deep Eddy and Barton Springs. To a girl who’d grown up in parched West Texas, swimming pools fed from natural springs seemed pretty darned great. I sampled tasty cappuccinos at Quack’s. Nowadays Starbucks has infiltrated Midland like pretty much every other American city, but back then, having a cappuccino during the height of Folger’s diner coffee was a real eye opener for me, in more ways than one. I met liberals, hippies, artists, and idealists. For the first time, I fell in love.
I fell in lust with a few other places. Then I'd get restless, move, live in different city. Eventually I discovered that I am a Texas girl at heart, but there’s really only one place in this state where I want to live. I find myself thinking about Austin the way some people dwell on their first love, wondering if maybe that first one was the real deal after all.
I’m an adult now, allegedly. I have a mortgage, a job, a child. I find myself listening to bids for an expensive custom door to replace our decades-old back door that no longer locks (expensive because our house is older and nothing is a “standard” size), and choosing colors to the paint the den, while simultaneously scanning real estate and job listings in Austin. I can see a life in Dallas. I have a life in Dallas, and it's a good one, but then there's the daydream of moving that will not go away. I go back and forth in my mind so often I’m starting to get whiplash. It’s exhausting. And ultimately seems like a huge waste of time and energy ... but I am having a hard time stopping. I was talking to Katy and asked, isn’t holding two opposing ideas in your mind at the same time a description of insanity? I’ll try to be positive and say it’s an example of integrative thinking.
I’ve been reading Dawn Powell’s diaries. In one entry she wrote, “There is really one city for everyone just as there is one major love.”
I first visited Austin when I was 16 years old. In many ways, that trip changed my life. My high school boyfriend invited me to visit his family and one of the people I met was his grandfather. For the first time, I met someone who made his living as an artist. I had always loved to read and write, but never considered the fact that real people might actually be writers or artists. Meeting Charles made that kind of life seem possible, if not necessarily easy.
The visit also included trips to Deep Eddy and Barton Springs. To a girl who’d grown up in parched West Texas, swimming pools fed from natural springs seemed pretty darned great. I sampled tasty cappuccinos at Quack’s. Nowadays Starbucks has infiltrated Midland like pretty much every other American city, but back then, having a cappuccino during the height of Folger’s diner coffee was a real eye opener for me, in more ways than one. I met liberals, hippies, artists, and idealists. For the first time, I fell in love.
I fell in lust with a few other places. Then I'd get restless, move, live in different city. Eventually I discovered that I am a Texas girl at heart, but there’s really only one place in this state where I want to live. I find myself thinking about Austin the way some people dwell on their first love, wondering if maybe that first one was the real deal after all.
I’m an adult now, allegedly. I have a mortgage, a job, a child. I find myself listening to bids for an expensive custom door to replace our decades-old back door that no longer locks (expensive because our house is older and nothing is a “standard” size), and choosing colors to the paint the den, while simultaneously scanning real estate and job listings in Austin. I can see a life in Dallas. I have a life in Dallas, and it's a good one, but then there's the daydream of moving that will not go away. I go back and forth in my mind so often I’m starting to get whiplash. It’s exhausting. And ultimately seems like a huge waste of time and energy ... but I am having a hard time stopping. I was talking to Katy and asked, isn’t holding two opposing ideas in your mind at the same time a description of insanity? I’ll try to be positive and say it’s an example of integrative thinking.
The Grandma Update
Not sure anyone else is interested in reading about Zoe's developmental milestones, but here they are:
The girl is mobile. She's been working on crawling for a while, and this past week she slept like utter crap, waking up frequently. When I'd go into her room, I'd find her on her tummy and pissed about it. I think she was "practicing" in her sleep. For the past couple of days, she's started really scooting across the room. Sometimes she's on her knees; other times she's doing the army arm-crawl.
She's also become very interested in faces. We were in bed together for a nap, and she very gently "petted" my eyebrows, then my eyelashes, sort of trying to figure out what they were. She's also interested in eyes, ears, noses, lips, glasses. Most of the time she's very gentle; occasionally, you wind up with a noseful of baby fingers.
She continues to develop a sense of humor, laughing at jokes and funny noises.
She knows her name and the dog's. When we call Walker, she turns to look at him.
She is still babbling "mama" and what sounds like "mom," but I'm not sure she associates that with me yet. "Baba" is also a favorite.
She looooooves vegetables, more than fruit, and cheerios and veggie puffs. So far meat kind of seems to freak her out (maybe it's the texture?) unless we're having Mexican and then she chows down on the chicken or whatever. She love to eat, like both of her parents.
She almost always giggles after she sneezes. Sneezes are fun, apparently.
She's very ticklish.
She doesn't like bibs and often tears off her socks.
She sometimes laughs in her sleep, which makes me wonder what she's dreaming. Whatever it is, it's cracking her up.
Update: Over the weekend, she started pulling herself up to a stand on the furniture.
Also, I forgot to say that she still constantly has her feet crossed. This makes crawling difficult at times.
The girl is mobile. She's been working on crawling for a while, and this past week she slept like utter crap, waking up frequently. When I'd go into her room, I'd find her on her tummy and pissed about it. I think she was "practicing" in her sleep. For the past couple of days, she's started really scooting across the room. Sometimes she's on her knees; other times she's doing the army arm-crawl.
She's also become very interested in faces. We were in bed together for a nap, and she very gently "petted" my eyebrows, then my eyelashes, sort of trying to figure out what they were. She's also interested in eyes, ears, noses, lips, glasses. Most of the time she's very gentle; occasionally, you wind up with a noseful of baby fingers.
She continues to develop a sense of humor, laughing at jokes and funny noises.
She knows her name and the dog's. When we call Walker, she turns to look at him.
She is still babbling "mama" and what sounds like "mom," but I'm not sure she associates that with me yet. "Baba" is also a favorite.
She looooooves vegetables, more than fruit, and cheerios and veggie puffs. So far meat kind of seems to freak her out (maybe it's the texture?) unless we're having Mexican and then she chows down on the chicken or whatever. She love to eat, like both of her parents.
She almost always giggles after she sneezes. Sneezes are fun, apparently.
She's very ticklish.
She doesn't like bibs and often tears off her socks.
She sometimes laughs in her sleep, which makes me wonder what she's dreaming. Whatever it is, it's cracking her up.
Update: Over the weekend, she started pulling herself up to a stand on the furniture.
Also, I forgot to say that she still constantly has her feet crossed. This makes crawling difficult at times.
Wednesday
RIP
Poet and activist Raul Salinas has died. I didn't know him personally, but had seen him at various book festivals and heard him read and speak a few times.
This article covers some of his work.
Updated: Two more pieces about Raul.
This article covers some of his work.
Updated: Two more pieces about Raul.
Friday
Sunday
Personal Symbolism
When Nate and I were planning our wedding, we looked for a symbol that would represent the unity of masculine and feminine. Something like the yin and yang symbol, which we didn't want to use for a variety of reasons. As we looked around, we kept coming back to the sun and moon. El sol (masculine) and la luna (feminine). Nate's mom had drawn artwork for his brother's wedding invitations and we thought it would be cool if she did the same for us.
While we were on our honeymoon in Playa del Carmen, we happened upon this necklace, which fit in rather nicely with the theme of our wedding. It's one of my favorite pieces of jewelry, as anyone who sees me regularly knows. I wear it often.
Zoe was born on May 19. That evening, the sky had a crescent moon, Venus, and
as Space.com explained: "you may be able to see the full globe of the Moon, its darkened portion glowing with a bluish-gray hue interposed between the sunlit crescent and not much darker sky. This vision is sometimes called 'the old Moon in the young Moon's arms.' Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) was the first to recognize it as what we now call 'Earthshine.'"
I've thought about getting a tattoo at various points in my life but could never decide on a symbol. I wanted to make sure that anything I put on my body would be something I could live with permanently. After I had Zoe, I began to think about commemorating that life-changing event with something related to the moon, since that has had so much symbolism for me during my marriage.
I have a rough idea, a recommendation for a tattoo artist and studio, but haven't built up my nerve yet. I tend to avoid pain if given the choice so I'll have to overcome that if I really decide to go through with this.
Wednesday
Randomness
This post is going to be all over the place as I share a few very random thoughts.
1. Priorities
Best quote I've seen about the UFO story out of Stephenville: "All I can say is, if space aliens were hovering over Texas last week, then maybe that explains the Cowboys. The Stephenville newspaper, the Empire-Tribune, actually broke the story Thursday. But as far as I can tell, absolutely nobody in Texas paid attention until after Dallas was knocked out of the football playoffs."
Aliens, if you want to get Texans' attention, you have to wait until after football season is over. Hello! Aren't you supposed to be an advanced life form? They probably don't get the NFL Network in their satellite package, either.
2. The State of the Uterus
For some reason, I've had a lot of people ask me recently if I plan on having more babies, and at least two were surprised when my answer wasn't "yes, we're trying right now!" I guess they think that Zoe, who will be eight months this week, is old enough for me to start the procreation process again. My uterus hasn't recovered from the first baby yet! Heck, she hasn't even been out in the world as long as she was in the womb. Give me time, people. Time. Also, I still have to lose ten pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I guess I should stop eating fast food and ice cream then. Doh!
3. The Things People Say
Recently, I was asked if I was "full Mexican." I get variations on this question often, due partly to my name (I assume). My maiden name doesn't sound Latino, my married name is German, and I think the combination of the two confuses people. (Side note: only in Texas can a woman of Mexican heritage end up with a name like Dutchover Stull). Anyhoo, I understood what she was asking and I said yes. Then she asked if I planned on having more children (please see State of the Uterus, above). I said maybe, but not right away. Then she said, "'Cause I know Mexicans like to have lots of babies." Even though it was unfortunately phrased, I don't think she meant any harm by what she said. My response was, "Not me!" I guess I could have gone into a lecture about being more p.c. but I just let it go. I'm as quick to take offense as anyone and it just didn't feel malintentioned. This goes into the long and ever-expanding file of "weird things people say to Yvonne for no discernible reason."
4. Which Got Me to Thinking ...
When I used to walk into a new setting, like a classroom, lecture, sports game, I would count how many people of color there were. I think this was a holdover from growing up in West Texas, being in honors/AP courses, and being usually one of only a handful of "minorities." I am used to hearing lots of weird comments made to me/about me/around me because of my ethnicity, name, confusion created by the combination of the two, etc. so I think I used to kind of scope out the situation instinctively.
I've outgrown this habit recently, since Zoe was born to be honest, but I think this is due to parental exhaustion and not any great depth of character or growing maturity. Coincidentally, the numbers/ratio that were an issue when I was younger have been there my whole educational and professional life and are still true. In graduate school and in my current job I am one of a handful of "others." But I'm so tired these days I think I just don't have the energy to care. Also, having a "half" child has caused a slight rearrangement of ideas related to this topic, and I'm sure these ideas will only be further discombobulated as Zoe grows and faces her own interesting experiences and comments. (Or maybe not. We'll see. Ask me about this again in a few months, once I've had a full night of sleep again and maybe I'll have a different opinion.)
Anyway, this got me to thinking. When I walked into my yoga class today, I noticed two men on the other side of the room. I wasn't doing my informal interior census thing; I noticed them for two reasons. One is that they were speaking in Spanish (sounded more Caribbean versus Mexican; my guess is Puerto Rican) and the second is that one of the men kept staring at me. The way he was looking at me made me think that he, like me, is used to seeing primarily "white" faces on campus, so when he saw me he stared because I look more like him. Maybe he was doing his informal census.
Something like this happened recently when I went to get my eyes checked. The doctor was Latino and when he walked into the examination room (first time I've ever seen him), he smiled and said "Hi!" like we'd met before and I responded to him the same way, like he was someone I already knew. It was because he looked familiar to me. I didn't know him; his features just reminded me of (Latino) people I already know. There was just that sort of instant sense of recognition and our exchange was very friendly. As he was going through the exam, he told me that I look like one of his cousins and I reminded him of her. So, there you go.
I don't know where I'm going with this. Just a few random thoughts about ethnicity, weird ways we respond to it, and UFOs. I could make an illegal alien joke here, but I think I'll stop before I offend more people than I already have.
1. Priorities
Best quote I've seen about the UFO story out of Stephenville: "All I can say is, if space aliens were hovering over Texas last week, then maybe that explains the Cowboys. The Stephenville newspaper, the Empire-Tribune, actually broke the story Thursday. But as far as I can tell, absolutely nobody in Texas paid attention until after Dallas was knocked out of the football playoffs."
Aliens, if you want to get Texans' attention, you have to wait until after football season is over. Hello! Aren't you supposed to be an advanced life form? They probably don't get the NFL Network in their satellite package, either.
2. The State of the Uterus
For some reason, I've had a lot of people ask me recently if I plan on having more babies, and at least two were surprised when my answer wasn't "yes, we're trying right now!" I guess they think that Zoe, who will be eight months this week, is old enough for me to start the procreation process again. My uterus hasn't recovered from the first baby yet! Heck, she hasn't even been out in the world as long as she was in the womb. Give me time, people. Time. Also, I still have to lose ten pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I guess I should stop eating fast food and ice cream then. Doh!
3. The Things People Say
Recently, I was asked if I was "full Mexican." I get variations on this question often, due partly to my name (I assume). My maiden name doesn't sound Latino, my married name is German, and I think the combination of the two confuses people. (Side note: only in Texas can a woman of Mexican heritage end up with a name like Dutchover Stull). Anyhoo, I understood what she was asking and I said yes. Then she asked if I planned on having more children (please see State of the Uterus, above). I said maybe, but not right away. Then she said, "'Cause I know Mexicans like to have lots of babies." Even though it was unfortunately phrased, I don't think she meant any harm by what she said. My response was, "Not me!" I guess I could have gone into a lecture about being more p.c. but I just let it go. I'm as quick to take offense as anyone and it just didn't feel malintentioned. This goes into the long and ever-expanding file of "weird things people say to Yvonne for no discernible reason."
4. Which Got Me to Thinking ...
When I used to walk into a new setting, like a classroom, lecture, sports game, I would count how many people of color there were. I think this was a holdover from growing up in West Texas, being in honors/AP courses, and being usually one of only a handful of "minorities." I am used to hearing lots of weird comments made to me/about me/around me because of my ethnicity, name, confusion created by the combination of the two, etc. so I think I used to kind of scope out the situation instinctively.
I've outgrown this habit recently, since Zoe was born to be honest, but I think this is due to parental exhaustion and not any great depth of character or growing maturity. Coincidentally, the numbers/ratio that were an issue when I was younger have been there my whole educational and professional life and are still true. In graduate school and in my current job I am one of a handful of "others." But I'm so tired these days I think I just don't have the energy to care. Also, having a "half" child has caused a slight rearrangement of ideas related to this topic, and I'm sure these ideas will only be further discombobulated as Zoe grows and faces her own interesting experiences and comments. (Or maybe not. We'll see. Ask me about this again in a few months, once I've had a full night of sleep again and maybe I'll have a different opinion.)
Anyway, this got me to thinking. When I walked into my yoga class today, I noticed two men on the other side of the room. I wasn't doing my informal interior census thing; I noticed them for two reasons. One is that they were speaking in Spanish (sounded more Caribbean versus Mexican; my guess is Puerto Rican) and the second is that one of the men kept staring at me. The way he was looking at me made me think that he, like me, is used to seeing primarily "white" faces on campus, so when he saw me he stared because I look more like him. Maybe he was doing his informal census.
Something like this happened recently when I went to get my eyes checked. The doctor was Latino and when he walked into the examination room (first time I've ever seen him), he smiled and said "Hi!" like we'd met before and I responded to him the same way, like he was someone I already knew. It was because he looked familiar to me. I didn't know him; his features just reminded me of (Latino) people I already know. There was just that sort of instant sense of recognition and our exchange was very friendly. As he was going through the exam, he told me that I look like one of his cousins and I reminded him of her. So, there you go.
I don't know where I'm going with this. Just a few random thoughts about ethnicity, weird ways we respond to it, and UFOs. I could make an illegal alien joke here, but I think I'll stop before I offend more people than I already have.
Tuesday
Like Father, Like Daughter
This morning, Zoe said "mama" for the first time. She hasn't put the word together with me yet, but I hope that isn't too far behind. And I liked the outfit her dad put on her, so I had to document it. I think of these as Zoe's "Picasso pants."
(I have a book of photographs by David Douglas Duncan. He took a series of unposed pictures of Picasso while he was working and there are several where Picasso is wearing a pair of crazy striped pants. A ton of other photos from the book are online, but sadly I couldn't find a good one of the pants. This is the only one I found and you get just a glimpse of the stripes.)
Zoe's personity is revealing itself so much more these days. Here's a video from last night in which she giggles at my lame noises.She's so easily amused!
When I do the daycare drop off/pick up, I've noticed that a lot of people say hi to Zoe. Teachers in other classrooms, other kids, people I've never met before. Today as I was talking to Zoe's main teacher (her daycare pairs each infant with a specific teacher to promote bonding), another woman leaned in and said, "Hi, Zoe!" as so often happens. Zoe's response, as is typical, was to smile and giggle. Her teacher said, "Zoe's very popular. Everyone comes in to say hi to her." She also said that Zoe is curious about everyone and will stare and stare at anyone who walks in. I find her meeting all these people impressive, considering she doesn't talk or walk yet! Then I was talking with the daycare director about something before we left and she also said, "Zoe is very social. She engages with all of us."
This cracks me up because she's just like her father. All the daycare ladies love Nate, as do all the women who work in his building. Nate is about to volunteer to be the block captain of our neighborhood watch, which means he will have to talk with and organize all the people on our block. I'm sensing a trend here ...
I find it amusing that my husband and daughter are so outgoing when I'm so ... not. I guess they're going to make me get out into the world and socialize, even if it doesn't come to me naturally.
This morning, Zoe said "mama" for the first time. She hasn't put the word together with me yet, but I hope that isn't too far behind. And I liked the outfit her dad put on her, so I had to document it. I think of these as Zoe's "Picasso pants."
(I have a book of photographs by David Douglas Duncan. He took a series of unposed pictures of Picasso while he was working and there are several where Picasso is wearing a pair of crazy striped pants. A ton of other photos from the book are online, but sadly I couldn't find a good one of the pants. This is the only one I found and you get just a glimpse of the stripes.)
Zoe's personity is revealing itself so much more these days. Here's a video from last night in which she giggles at my lame noises.She's so easily amused!
When I do the daycare drop off/pick up, I've noticed that a lot of people say hi to Zoe. Teachers in other classrooms, other kids, people I've never met before. Today as I was talking to Zoe's main teacher (her daycare pairs each infant with a specific teacher to promote bonding), another woman leaned in and said, "Hi, Zoe!" as so often happens. Zoe's response, as is typical, was to smile and giggle. Her teacher said, "Zoe's very popular. Everyone comes in to say hi to her." She also said that Zoe is curious about everyone and will stare and stare at anyone who walks in. I find her meeting all these people impressive, considering she doesn't talk or walk yet! Then I was talking with the daycare director about something before we left and she also said, "Zoe is very social. She engages with all of us."
This cracks me up because she's just like her father. All the daycare ladies love Nate, as do all the women who work in his building. Nate is about to volunteer to be the block captain of our neighborhood watch, which means he will have to talk with and organize all the people on our block. I'm sensing a trend here ...
I find it amusing that my husband and daughter are so outgoing when I'm so ... not. I guess they're going to make me get out into the world and socialize, even if it doesn't come to me naturally.
Saturday
2008 Reading List
An ongoing list of books I've read this year:
January
The Mistress's Daughter, A.M. Homes
We Happy Few, Rolando Hinojosa
Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert
The Great Man, Kate Christensen
One True Thing, Anna Quindlen
February
The Diaries of Dawn Powell:1931-1965, Dawn Powell
The Gnostic Gospels, Elaine Pagels
March
Paula Spencer, Roddy Doyle
January
The Mistress's Daughter, A.M. Homes
We Happy Few, Rolando Hinojosa
Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert
The Great Man, Kate Christensen
One True Thing, Anna Quindlen
February
The Diaries of Dawn Powell:1931-1965, Dawn Powell
The Gnostic Gospels, Elaine Pagels
March
Paula Spencer, Roddy Doyle
Thursday
Friday
First Tooth
Around Christmas, Zoe got her first tooth. First it was just a little corner jutting out, now it's the whole top. She's growing up so quickly. Her "teachers" in the infant room commented on how grown up she seems, which must mean they're starting to look for the developmental signs they need to see to bump her up to the next room. She gets up on her knees now, and she is more mobile, constantly rolling around. You have to be careful when you hold her these days because she will lunge herself in the direction she wants to go in. She's also starting to show some separation anxiety. She will cry or whine if I leave the room.
In general, she's developing more into a little person, an amazing thing to witness and the absolute coolest part of being a parent, watching this tiny being become a person. She also "talks" more and is repeating syllables which are fun to hear. Within the past few days she's started taking the dog's toys away from him, which is pretty funny.
For Christmas, Zoe mainly received clothes as gifts. A good thing because the girl is growing constantly. I retire clothes weekly, it seems.
Obviously she is too young to understand Christmas but she really liked the lights and loved tearing the paper. She also liked trying to eat it. My favorite picture is this one where her tia Jennifer kept putting bows from opened presents on her head. She looks a little Frida Kahlo-esque, I think.
I got some lovely gifts, including a pearl necklace and earrings from Nate (ooh-la-la). We didn't really celebrate New Year's Eve, other than having dinner at home and staying up until midnight (a pretty admirable feat for us, these days). We did watch "NYE in Big D," which was a hoot. And of course as all new years do, it made me think of the previous year.
Good things in 2007:
Zoe, Zoe, Zoe
Watching Nate become a father
My new laptop!
Enjoying so much love and help from our families and friends this year
Lots of new babies--Lukas, Lily, and Kera in Austin, Evan in Dallas, and Sylas in Chicago
Our friend Randy got married
Around Christmas, Zoe got her first tooth. First it was just a little corner jutting out, now it's the whole top. She's growing up so quickly. Her "teachers" in the infant room commented on how grown up she seems, which must mean they're starting to look for the developmental signs they need to see to bump her up to the next room. She gets up on her knees now, and she is more mobile, constantly rolling around. You have to be careful when you hold her these days because she will lunge herself in the direction she wants to go in. She's also starting to show some separation anxiety. She will cry or whine if I leave the room.
In general, she's developing more into a little person, an amazing thing to witness and the absolute coolest part of being a parent, watching this tiny being become a person. She also "talks" more and is repeating syllables which are fun to hear. Within the past few days she's started taking the dog's toys away from him, which is pretty funny.
For Christmas, Zoe mainly received clothes as gifts. A good thing because the girl is growing constantly. I retire clothes weekly, it seems.
Obviously she is too young to understand Christmas but she really liked the lights and loved tearing the paper. She also liked trying to eat it. My favorite picture is this one where her tia Jennifer kept putting bows from opened presents on her head. She looks a little Frida Kahlo-esque, I think.I got some lovely gifts, including a pearl necklace and earrings from Nate (ooh-la-la). We didn't really celebrate New Year's Eve, other than having dinner at home and staying up until midnight (a pretty admirable feat for us, these days). We did watch "NYE in Big D," which was a hoot. And of course as all new years do, it made me think of the previous year.
Good things in 2007:
Zoe, Zoe, Zoe
Watching Nate become a father
My new laptop!
Enjoying so much love and help from our families and friends this year
Lots of new babies--Lukas, Lily, and Kera in Austin, Evan in Dallas, and Sylas in Chicago
Our friend Randy got married
Thursday
Resolutions
Nate and I kept our lists of "resolutions" from both 2006 and 2007. I use the quotes because a lot of the things on my list were choresy/task-type things. Like paint the den or buy French doors or whatever. Those lists are useful in their way, but this year I'm thinking about things I actually want to change in my life, versus just small tasks I want to accomplish. And when I look at my long list from last year, I wonder, where in the hell did I think I was going to find the time to do all that while I was pregnant and/or caring for an infant? Crazy.
So this year I'm going to keep it a little simpler. I'm going to focus on three things. I have two so far. The third requires a little more thought.
Nate and I kept our lists of "resolutions" from both 2006 and 2007. I use the quotes because a lot of the things on my list were choresy/task-type things. Like paint the den or buy French doors or whatever. Those lists are useful in their way, but this year I'm thinking about things I actually want to change in my life, versus just small tasks I want to accomplish. And when I look at my long list from last year, I wonder, where in the hell did I think I was going to find the time to do all that while I was pregnant and/or caring for an infant? Crazy.
So this year I'm going to keep it a little simpler. I'm going to focus on three things. I have two so far. The third requires a little more thought.