Two unrelated, but perplexing, things

1. Our dog Walker has the most odious case of gas I've experienced with a dog. We used to feed him Iams but his gas got really bad. We've switched to Nutro Max and that has seemed to improve gaseous matters somewhat, but Walker still can clear a room. Sometimes, we will walk through a room where Walker has been and will experience a smell so odious all we can do is grab our noses, say "Oh, God," and wipe our watering eyes. We call this walking through a "Walker pocket."

2. The low-rise cut. When low rise jeans first came out, I bought them. I have a pair. I even have a low-cut pair of kakhis. Here is the problem with the plumber's butt cut: everyone sitting behind you gets way too much information. Last summer when we went to a movie in the park in Chicago, a woman sat in front of us with low-rise jeans. We saw her entire ass. I can tell you the brand of her underwear (Victoria's Secret), the color (pink) and the style (thong, natch). During classes at SAIC last year, I saw more thongs and asses than I care to remember. I've got nothing against asses. Just don't want to be mooned everytime I go somewhere you have to sit on the ground. And crack is addictive. Once you start looking, you can't look away.

This weekend, I went shopping for some spring/summer work clothes. I couldn't find pants that weren't low rise, or extreme low rise, or XXX low rise. I was looking at dress pants, too, not jeans. I do not want to show my crack at work, so I bought skirts. I'm still searching for my elusive pants ...