Changes

Nate and I hadn't been dating very long, maybe two months, when we knew he was going to be transferred from Austin to Chicago. Because our relationship was so new, we were hesitant to totally expose our feelings, especially because they seemed too strong for such a short period of time. We started referring to all of the deep feelings we didn't talk about as "the unsaid." We'd start talking about the future, realize we didn't know what might happen being so far apart so early in our relationship, think heavy thoughts, then shrug and say, "the unsaid."

During the five or six months we dated long distance, we also started using the phrase, "we'll see what the tide brings us." We didn't really make plans, we were just going with the flow and enjoying each other. Things developed, we finally admitted how we felt, and we decided I should move to Chicago to be with him.

Was I anxious? Was I full of doubts? Of course. I was moving across the country to live with someone I'd been dating less than a year and been in the same town with and dating for two or three months. How crazy is that? But we decided to see what the tide would bring, even though I didn't have a job, Nate knew he'd have to support me, and I wouldn't know if I'd gotten into grad school until two months after I'd moved to Chicago. But we took the risk.

We lived together for about six or seven months before we got engaged. We saw what the tide had brought us: each other.

When Nate heard about the job transfer to Dallas, we had our doubts. First of all, it was Dallas. (Any Austinite or Houstonian will know what I mean.) I had a great job I enjoyed, a nice circle of friends, a great writing community, we had just moved into a really nice apartment, and we had finally set up the kind of life we wanted in Chicago (after a couple of years of adjusting to the northern life). But we took our chances again. I still don't think that was a mistake, although I'm still waiting to see what the tide brings in Dallas.

But there are more changes coming, for me this time. I think they're all good ones. These changes feel right, like moving to Chicago, like getting married. The tide is shifting.

I've started working on my novel again. I'll let you know how the book goes.