I Saw the Signs (or Thought I Did)

This is going to be a hippy-dippy entry so if that sort of thing bothers you, you may just want to move along. I'm not sure if it's a combination of Catholicism, Mexicanness, Austin living, patchouli wearing, superstitious parents, whatever, I look for signs. And by that I mean, if bad things keep happening around something (a job, a living situation, a friend) I will analyze that situation to see if I'm doing something wrong or if it is just a wrong thing for me because I like love, happiness, unicorns and rainbows. Actually, into every life a little rain must fall (and apparently cliches) but I try to avoid pain and difficulty when possible because you know what? life throws plenty of that at you already.

I am one of those people who believes that when you start getting "signs" from "the universe/God/deity or belief system of choice including coincidence" if you heed them, then things will work out much better and easier than if you ignore them, because then the universe will have to really knock you upside the head to get you to pay attention. "Hey dummy, I'm talking to YOU. Sincerely, the universe."

Look, I'm not a philosopher but this approach to life has mostly worked for me. Until now.

In the past few years Nate and I have made some rash-ish decisions relating to our living situations and that has sometimes not worked out so well for us. Sometimes life/circumstance got in the way and unless we could have seen the future there wasn't much we could have done about it. (See: moving into a kickass apartment in Chicago, signing an 18-month lease, and Nate getting transferred to Dallas four months later. Doh.)

Our most recent crazy move took place back in spring 2008. After an interesting and great trip to Austin over Easter weekend, Nate and I decided to take the plunge and move back to Austin from Dallas. There were signs, let's say. I heeded them. We made this decision in March/April. By June I had a job and had moved to Austin and I found a space in a daycare near work for Zoe (doors opening). Nate joined us six weeks later. We stayed with generous friends. At a certain point, our house still hadn't sold and we realized we couldn't stay with generous friends forever so we found a cheap apartment in a good part of town for us (good as in we liked it and it was convenient to both of our jobs). Two weeks after moving in we got an offer on our house. At the time I was irritated because we could have bought a house if we hadn't signed a lease! But now looking back, I'm more or less glad what happened happened because it has forced us to live simply, not accumulate more crap, and we have almost halved our debt in a year (sweet!). In these crazy economic times I'm amazed we sold a house right around the time real estate was imploding, we are both still (knock wood) employed, we have paid off a nice amount of debt (but still have a ways to go), and now we have much better financial habits, which will be good in the long run.

But you know, one bedroom apartment with a toddler. Not much room. No yard. Not so great for the romance. Our dog is living with our bro and sis-in-law. And we were ready for more space and more than one bathroom and maybe the child having her own room. And we started looking way early, like two months before we needed a place, which in the rental world is about four weeks too early because most people are giving notice 30 days before they are getting the move on. But we found a place! And the place was in a hood convenient for both our jobs (not so easy when one of you works east and one of you works west); within walking distance to groceries, yoga, a park, and other goodness; and it was large! we would have space for bedrooms and guest room and workout room and an office! and it seemed perfect. Heeding signs, right? All going to work out.

And then...our landlord asked us to move in on 8/24 (we'd asked for 9/1). But he said he didn't want the house sitting empty. So fine, 8/24. We booked movers, made arrangements with the utility companies, etc. A few days before our scheduled move the landlord called to tell us that the tenants, who were buying a house, had some delays with their closing so they would be staying longer. And since he was putting in new kitchen cabinets and countertops, could we move in on 9/1? Kind of a pain having to reschedule all those things we'd recently set up but we'd wanted 9/1 anyway, so...once again, schedules are arranged.

On either the Friday or Monday before we were supposed to move (can't remember exactly because the boiling of my brain fried some details), landlord emails and says they are thinking of expanding the renovation. For the house's size the kitchen is quite small (probably the size of our current apartment kitchen and did I mention it's a one bedroom? not large) and he was considering knocking down some walls, losing a pantry and a coat closet to get more square footage in that room, and did he mention they had decided to order granite for the countertops? So...he writes that we can 1. move in as planned without any work; 2. move in while the reno is being done (no working kitchen with a toddler? sounds fun!); or 3. delay our move until 10/1 and we will have a new kitchen with new cabinets and granite countertops and oh, did he mention he will also be installing new carpet in the bedrooms?

Having been burned twice before we replied: can you guarantee this new date? What is the timeline of the work? How big is the crew? We need to revise the lease. And also, we are asking these questions because if we plan for a move on 10/1 we do not want you to email us on 9/21 and say, hey the work is done, move in now! We want a firm, guaranteed move-in date so we can plan our damn move. And then he went out of town for a week and we didn't hear from him.

In the normal sign-heeding world, you sign a lease, and you turn over your deposit, and you agree on a move-in date, and you hate moving and maybe at one point when you can't find your deodorant or your shoes you cry, and then you move and you are so happy you did it. We are still at the date part and I am confused because the signs--I'm trying to heed you! Why is my approach not working?

As it stands now, our landlord (is he a landlord if we haven't moved in?) wrote back and said that he'd gotten our message, was back in town, and was trying to get answers for us. And then...nothing. I should probably mention that we are communicating via email because he said that's easier for him than the phone. Only, not so hot with the communication! Sends us life-altering messages and then drops off the face of the earth for a while.

Here's the confusing part. I heeded the signs! Yet these most recent signs, in any other situation, would send me running in the opposite direction. I am wondering if my approache to life needs to be adjusted.

There's a similar situation going on with Zoe's potential Montessori school but after typing this novel I don't have the energy to write about it. But we can sum it up by saying: it seems like everything we are touching right now sounds and looks great until we say, yes, please! And then suddenly there are all these mysterious delays and obstacles popping up around it. Frustrating, confusing, tiring. Thank goodness I have a four-day weekend to recover.