Thinking About Schools

While we're waiting for our house to sell, Nate and I are scoping out neighborhoods. One of our top criteria for the search is schools. Zoe is only one year old, but we were in our last house for four years (and had just started feeling like we had the house where we wanted it) and expect to be in this next house for that amount of time or longer. In four years, she will start kindergarten, so even though it does seem somewhat ridiculous to worry about schools now, I really don't feel like moving again in four years if we don't have to. Also I'm old now. Time moves fast for me and four years doesn't seem very long at all.

House buying/school researching brings up a lot of issues, many based on race and/or class (duh). Today I just happened upon some different things that made me think of my current dilemma. This article made me laugh. Especially this part: "I often thought, you know, if I wanted to make some money, I could start a private school. I could start it out of my own house in Van Nuys and call it 'The Cottage' or 'The Bungalow.' And you know we've got mulberry trees around here, and they're dying, but we could call it 'The Mulberry Cottage.' And we could start a newsletter."

I, like many parents right now, have a lot of conflicting feelings about public school and parenthood in general. We are so careful with our children, this generation. We feed them organic, we debate about vaccination schedules, we shelter them to an amazing degree. The voices I hear myself using with Zoe sometimes make me cringe. 'Cause I think of our parents and grandparents who, quite honestly, expected us as children to be more self-sufficient. We were the latchkey generation, after all.

What are we so afraid of? I ask myself that as I look at schools and judge their statistics. My experience is colored by the fact that I did attend a private (Catholic) school during childhood and I had a great experience. The class sizes were small so I developed very close friendships with both classmates and teachers and I got a lot of attention academically. I was challenged. When I went to a public school in junior high, I was easily two-three years ahead of my peers.

And public school was a hard adjustment. Did it make me more prepared for the real world? Probably. But there was a lot more violence, a lot more leniency for bad behavior, and just a lot crap that got in the way of learning. Where I went to Catholic school, talking back, fighting, etc. were not tolerated at all. When I went to a public school, that kind of thing took up a lot of valuable time. Even back then I found it annoying, having to wait for kids who couldn't behave to calm down so we could finally get to what it was we were supposed to be doing.

But I, like so many other parents right now, am trying to balance my personal ideals (supporting the community/public schools) with what I think will be good longterm for Zoe.

That's another part. I know I am more careful than I need to be. I view her as a sweet baby, needing my protection. But apparently at daycare she is an "alpha" girl and has bitten other children twice. (They think it was teething related since it was during a week when her teeth really seemed to be bugging her, but still.) I've seen her take a swipe at boys when they touch her toys or whatever. And both the previous and current daycares have said, "Zoe can take care of herself." I probably assume she's more delicate than she really is.