How do you like them apples?

I’m working on not letting things bug me. (Don’t laugh, Nathan.) But here’s a thing that still does. Bug me, that is. You know when people ask your opinion on something. Let’s say for example, someone says: “I can’t decide between eating this apple or this orange. What do you think?” And then you say, “Well, I’m sure they’d both be fine, but if I were you I’d eat the spectacular apple of goodness because it looks like it’s perfectly ripe while the orange only looks slightly ripe.”

Then that person goes around and asks five other people what they think. And each person gives their opinion on apples or oranges and the asker comes back and asks you again. At this point, you’re kinda like, “I already told you what I think and who cares anyway? It’s fruity goodness. Just pick one already!” Mumblegrumblegoddamnfruit.

And then the person goes and eats a banana.

I’m not talking about big issues, like divorce or quitting one’s job, or deciding what color to dye one’s hair, which of course are issues of utmost importance and require lots of debate and multiple opinions. (I’m not heartless, people.) But when someone is asking your opinion on a pretty trivial matter, like whether to eat an apple or an orange, or whether they should wear pants or a skirt, or if they should read this book next or that one, I mean, c’mon. I’m going to lose patience. You’ve been warned is all I’m saying.