Dreams
I've been having very detailed, plot-driven dreams lately. They are often morbid. I dream about assaults, kidnappings, or weird dysfunctional relationships. The dreams are like movies or television shows, but I've never actually seen them. They make sense, and I often think they might make either good screenplays or TV shows. They aren't deep but they are violent, action packed, and sort of interesting. Sometimes I've woken up and thought that I was somehow dreaming about real people going through real things.
I could just be going through a crazy dream cycle or maybe this is the influence of The Shield, a cop show Nate and I have watched. I think we're one season behind (we've been catching up with DVDs of past seasons) but that show ... man. It makes me anxious. There are all sort of messed-up events going on. People getting their feet cut off, big heists, bending and breaking the rules, assaults of all kinds, I don't know. I think it's a good show. Well written and many of the actors are excellent. But it does make me anxious, especially because I know that many of the crimes they show are real. I'm not saying they happen every day or every where but they are realistic enough that you realize that those kinds of things could happen to you, your neighbors, or your family. So maybe that's why I'm having these dreams.
I've started a notebook where I list down ideas and dialogue. Maybe someday I'll get around to some of those snippets.
Wednesday
Tuesday
Random things I've thought about today
1. Crazy people. When I was younger, I often had friends who were high-maintenance, overly dramatic, and sometimes downright crazy. I even dated some of them. As I've gotten older, I've tried to limit the crazies to family members. (If you're family, I'll put up with your crazy ass. If you' are not related by blood or marriage, all my crazy slots are full.) There's only so much time and energy I have. And I got tired of wasting that energy on people who always had problems of their own making, who asked for advice and never took it, and who rinsed and repeated the process over and over again. I've been pretty successful with this goal or strategy or whatever you want to call it. Sometimes I miss the good stories that always resulted from the crazy-people antics, but I rarely miss the crazy people themselves.
2. Why have I been so itchy lately? For the past week or so, I have been itching like crazy. The itching gets worse at night, for some reason. I've looked at my skin and I don't have bug bites or a rash. I'm not using new soap or new lotion or anything. My only thought at this point is that maybe I'm dehydrated and my skin is dry. I'm still trying to figure this one out.
3. Sometimes I think I married a man who is my opposite in small, but critical ways. He wants to plan; I want to let things unfold by themselves. He wants to know spoilers before we go see a movie; I want to know as little as possible before walking in the theater. He has a penis; I have a vagina. Stuff like that. For the past week or two, I've been trying to plan a surprise birthday party for Nate in Austin with some of his old friends. As our trip approaches, Nate has been getting on me to make plans with people because he was worried we wouldn't have time to see everyone, and then he started arranging things himself when I seemed to be dragging my feet. Only, these plans were going to interfere with my party! So I had to tell him what I was doing because all of my lame excuses about why we couldn't schedule this or that were starting to annoy him.
"Why do you want to leave everything up in the air?" he wondered.
Well, now he knows.
4. Why do I love coffee so much? Should I drink something else? Is coffee/dehydration why my skin is so itchy?
5. When Nate and I both lived in Austin, we lived south in the Barton Hills neighborhood. We rarely went north of downtown for dinner, drinks, or to friends' houses. For example, we didn't go to Hyde Park, even though I had lived there before and liked the 'hood and some of the restaurants in the area. Even UT/West Campus was a stretch. When friends who lived north of 15th street or so invited us to visit them in north Austin, we'd usually talk them into coming down south. And because almost all of our friends lived south, this was usually easy to do. Whenever people talked about living in north Austin, we always said, “You might as well live in Dallas.” The karmic justice is, of course, that we now live in Dallas.
The impending birthday gathering, which is naturally to be held in north Austin, has made me realize several things. I don’t know any of the restaurants up there because I wouldn’t drive north of downtown if I could help it. I’ve never been to Trudy’s North (I always went to Trudy’s South and Central). Also, I’m going to have to try to convince south Austinites (the majority of our friends) to drive north.
6. Despite my possibly seemingly cranky self, I am trying to be more kind and patient with people. This is, paradoxically, one of the reasons I try not to spend too much time with people who drive me crazy. Because I think its kinder to all of us to let each person follow his or her own strange path, no matter how odd it might seem to other people, with as little interference as possible. And then we can each face karmic justice in our own ways. Like planning a “surprise” birthday party in north Austin while living in Dallas.
1. Crazy people. When I was younger, I often had friends who were high-maintenance, overly dramatic, and sometimes downright crazy. I even dated some of them. As I've gotten older, I've tried to limit the crazies to family members. (If you're family, I'll put up with your crazy ass. If you' are not related by blood or marriage, all my crazy slots are full.) There's only so much time and energy I have. And I got tired of wasting that energy on people who always had problems of their own making, who asked for advice and never took it, and who rinsed and repeated the process over and over again. I've been pretty successful with this goal or strategy or whatever you want to call it. Sometimes I miss the good stories that always resulted from the crazy-people antics, but I rarely miss the crazy people themselves.
2. Why have I been so itchy lately? For the past week or so, I have been itching like crazy. The itching gets worse at night, for some reason. I've looked at my skin and I don't have bug bites or a rash. I'm not using new soap or new lotion or anything. My only thought at this point is that maybe I'm dehydrated and my skin is dry. I'm still trying to figure this one out.
3. Sometimes I think I married a man who is my opposite in small, but critical ways. He wants to plan; I want to let things unfold by themselves. He wants to know spoilers before we go see a movie; I want to know as little as possible before walking in the theater. He has a penis; I have a vagina. Stuff like that. For the past week or two, I've been trying to plan a surprise birthday party for Nate in Austin with some of his old friends. As our trip approaches, Nate has been getting on me to make plans with people because he was worried we wouldn't have time to see everyone, and then he started arranging things himself when I seemed to be dragging my feet. Only, these plans were going to interfere with my party! So I had to tell him what I was doing because all of my lame excuses about why we couldn't schedule this or that were starting to annoy him.
"Why do you want to leave everything up in the air?" he wondered.
Well, now he knows.
4. Why do I love coffee so much? Should I drink something else? Is coffee/dehydration why my skin is so itchy?
5. When Nate and I both lived in Austin, we lived south in the Barton Hills neighborhood. We rarely went north of downtown for dinner, drinks, or to friends' houses. For example, we didn't go to Hyde Park, even though I had lived there before and liked the 'hood and some of the restaurants in the area. Even UT/West Campus was a stretch. When friends who lived north of 15th street or so invited us to visit them in north Austin, we'd usually talk them into coming down south. And because almost all of our friends lived south, this was usually easy to do. Whenever people talked about living in north Austin, we always said, “You might as well live in Dallas.” The karmic justice is, of course, that we now live in Dallas.
The impending birthday gathering, which is naturally to be held in north Austin, has made me realize several things. I don’t know any of the restaurants up there because I wouldn’t drive north of downtown if I could help it. I’ve never been to Trudy’s North (I always went to Trudy’s South and Central). Also, I’m going to have to try to convince south Austinites (the majority of our friends) to drive north.
6. Despite my possibly seemingly cranky self, I am trying to be more kind and patient with people. This is, paradoxically, one of the reasons I try not to spend too much time with people who drive me crazy. Because I think its kinder to all of us to let each person follow his or her own strange path, no matter how odd it might seem to other people, with as little interference as possible. And then we can each face karmic justice in our own ways. Like planning a “surprise” birthday party in north Austin while living in Dallas.
Monday
God's Truth
"Our country's fundamentalism is no prettier than anyone else's," she says. "It's really peculiar that the super-fundamentalists in this country talk about fundamentalists in other countries as extremists. They're all alike, whether they're Jewish or Muslim or Christian. God has told them they're right and nobody else is right. It's so laughable, so pitiful."
From a profile of the poet Naomi Shihab Nye.
"Our country's fundamentalism is no prettier than anyone else's," she says. "It's really peculiar that the super-fundamentalists in this country talk about fundamentalists in other countries as extremists. They're all alike, whether they're Jewish or Muslim or Christian. God has told them they're right and nobody else is right. It's so laughable, so pitiful."
From a profile of the poet Naomi Shihab Nye.
Wednesday
Home Improvement
Even though I was hoping to get started on my revision this week, I may have to push that goal back a bit. Last night we started painting Nate's office. After we finish, we'll paint the hall. The schedule this week will be: working from 8:30 - 5, painting until 8 or 9, dinner, and then bed. Not much time or energy for revising.
We'll see. I haven't given up all hope on revising yet, but I'm trying to be realistic and also not kill myself.
Once we finish the room, I'll share some pictures.
Even though I was hoping to get started on my revision this week, I may have to push that goal back a bit. Last night we started painting Nate's office. After we finish, we'll paint the hall. The schedule this week will be: working from 8:30 - 5, painting until 8 or 9, dinner, and then bed. Not much time or energy for revising.
We'll see. I haven't given up all hope on revising yet, but I'm trying to be realistic and also not kill myself.
Once we finish the room, I'll share some pictures.