Odd Practices

While we lived in Chicago, Nate and I noticed that people did some strange things. Strange to us, anyway. For example, digging your car out of the snow and then "claiming" the spot with junk. Seemed pretty juvenile to us, but our landlord said that most people respected the "dibs" because people had been shot for taking another individual's spot. On a public street. Crazy, man. That's why I don't do winter. The cold makes people nutty.

Somehow that got Nate and I onto a conversation about the El. One of our friends saw a man defecating on a platform, which I think is pretty much the worst story I heard. Nate and I both had the experience of trying to get on an extremely crowded train, finding a section of a car that was miraculously empty, then seeing the vomit or urine or whatever it was that made people give it some space. On my way to work one day, I sat on a seat that was wet. As I stood up, I prayed someone had just spilled their drink and not lost control of their bladder. I also saw people on the trains putting on makeup (the whole routine, not just lipstick or touching up), plucking eyebrows, and clipping nails. I don't know why, but the nail clipping bothered me the most. I think it was the sound, that insistent metallic clip, clip, clip and the fact that someone was leaving DROPPINGS from his body on a public train. Please don't do that, sir. I don't want to sit on your discarded nails.

Update

I asked a couple of fountain pen people who are much more experienced than I am and with their instructions I figured out how to switch the converter to cartridges!!!! Very excited about this. I also got links to forums and other pen resources and advice on other pens to buy. (Fountain pens, they're addictive. At least for geeks like me.) I tend to like bottled ink more than cartridges but the carts are good for traveling. Also, I just heard about Noodler's ink, which is waterproof ink. I was told at the store where I bought my pen that they didn't know of any waterproof bottled inks. Now I know.

Maybe I have a chance with Santa this year after all.

In TV-land, Nate and I have gotten hooked on Lost a season late. We've been watching episodes with Netflix, but one of our friends very kindly lent us the boxed set and now we are turbo-chargine our way through season one. The hope is we'll catch up enough to watch season two. I go back and forth on my favorite character. Right now I heart Hurley. He reminds me of two people I know. His sense of humor, his laidback attitude, but with a strong sense of determination reserved for only important things.

Why I'm not getting anything good from Santa this year


Last Friday, Nate and I were picking up a few gifts and gift certificates at a local mall. As we were leaving, I took a sample of Sarah Jessica Parker's perfume Lovely. I read a profile about it in the New York Times Magazine a few weeks back and the creation of the perfume sounded interesting and the scent sounded like one I would like. I sniffed the sample as we walked through the store.

Lovely confused me. I really liked the first bouquet (or note or whatever you call the first sniff of a perfume) but it had a strange after-scent/undertone I didn't like. As Nate held the door for me to walk into the parking lot, I figured out why I didn't like it.

"It smells like old lady," I told Nate.

A couple of details.

1. Nate had no idea what I was talking about, since we had no conversation about the perfume prior to me blurting out, "It smells like old lady."

and

2. There was an elderly woman near the door who gave me the stink eye. Apparently she thought I was talking about her as I blurted out, "It smells like old lady."

But that's not why I'm not going to get anything good from Santa.

Instead of apologzing or telling the woman I was talking about the perfume, all I could think about is how often I put my foot in it unintentionally, and I started laughing. I'm sure the woman thought I was laughing at her.

That's why I'm not going to get anything good from Santa. For the record, yes, I'm an idiot. And yes, I'm prone to uncontrollable fits of giggles sometimes.

Here is another story to demonstrate my foolishness.

Last summer I bought myself a birthday present, a Namiki Vanishing Point pen. I have four fountain pens. I'm a newbie to the pen collecting world. I started with cartridges and progressed to bottled inks and converters. Until I got my Vanishing Point.

All of my other converters have clear barrels so you can see how much ink you've drawn in. Namikis (or maybe just vanishing points) have a silver barrel converter. So you can't see how much ink you've pulled in. So I would think I'd filled the converter, start writing, and run out of ink a few lines later. Annoying. So I decided to switch to cartridges for just this pen. A few days ago I placed an order for several colors of ink cartridges.

Now I can't figure out how to remove the nib from the converter. All of my other pens have a very obvious point where the nib connects to the converter and you just pull them apart. With the vanishing point I think I know where they connect, but I've tried twisting and pulling and haven't been able to get them separated. Annoying. Especially since my ink cartridges should arrive on Friday.

The store where I bought my pen is now, sadly, out of business so I can't call to ask. I'm going to examine my pen again tonight and see if a little holiday magic will help me figure out how to solve this probably obvious (to everyone else) solution.

I know I'm lucky that my "problem" right now is trying to figure out how in the hell to use my expensive (for me) pen. But remember: I'm not getting anything good from Santa this year.

Immigration is Complicated

But this is just stupid.

From the article:

"So I went to the principal and said, 'My son, he's not suspended for fighting, right? He's not suspended for disrespecting anyone. He's suspended for speaking Spanish in the hall?' So I asked her to show me the written policy about that. But they didn't have" one.

The Complications of Immigration

I recognize that undocumented immigration is a complicated issue.

"The change in Owen is the change on the border. She used to work out on the Buenos Aires National Wildlife Refuge and would run into groups of two or three or four men. They'd introduce themselves and say what ranch they were going to work on, chat for a few minutes, and go. Not so much anymore."

Here's an article about some of those complications.

What's Next?

Some people put cream and sugar in their coffee. Others drink it blak.

When to Let Go

Friday night I enjoyed a few drinks with Mr. Nate, his co-worker, and some freelancers. Nate told the co-worker about my novel (perhaps even at last year's holiday party) and he wanted to know if it was published yet.

Hahahahaha.

Imagine Stewie from the Family Guy.

Stewie: "How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yeah, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off."

Anyway, Nate's co-worker thinks maybe I'm actually done. That maybe I'm having a hard time letting the novel go.

Here's the truth: I'm not done. Right now I still have continuity issues. Places where I read something and think: this sounds like bad television. Or places where things just plain don't make sense. I'm fixing all that. I do not expect perfection (I'm an atheist) but I do expect not to read my own book and groan at something I've written. When that magical day comes, I'll have no problem drop-kicking this novel to the curb. Because I'm anxious to move on and work on other projects.

Miss Snark says:

...

"Finish your novel.

Then, as you let it sit and percolate (cause you DO NOT SEND IT OUT before you've let it sit and percolate) you can work on short stories. Then when you've done all ten drafts of the novel that you need to do (no, I'm not kidding), you query."

...

"And I'm not kidding about drafts. The biggest mistake writers make is sending their work out too soon. It's how you miss the stupid typos, it's how you miss the forest cause you have your nose up a tree...yadda yadda yadda."

I'm on draft number 3. Will I have to do 10? Maybe not. I say that because parts of the novel have been revised more than others, so some sections are probably on something more like draft 15. But the book as a whole still needs a few more passes.

Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end?

Stewie haunts my dreams.

The Hall, the Novel, the Agony

If you want to check out our new hall colors, Nate has posted a new gallery on his site. It's the Dec. 2 entry.

In novel news, I'm still revising. Revising, revising, revising. I'm as tired of writing it as you are of reading it. When I'm done, I plan to send the book out to three friends who are careful readers for feedback. One of them is a short story writer, one is a newspaper reporter, and one is a novelist. All three are published. (And I plan to let three family members read it, although I don't expect feedback from them, necessarily. They just want to read the novel after hearing me talk about it so much.)

The draft I'm working on now has been to fix all the plot and clarity problems. I think that's going pretty well. And I thought I should do one more draft focusing on voice before sending it out to readers . You see, a friend of mine who works in publishing (he's a designer but he has read tons of books in manuscript and has also written two or three books and several plays himself) said his concern was that my narrator sounded too much like the characters. Since the narrator is pretty much the same throughout the book, I started worrying that they all sounded the same.

Should I do a voice draft? I wasn't sure. So I asked Maria, one of the future readers, to look at the first two chapters. In her opinion, they sound distinct. So now I'm not sure about that extra draft or not. Oh well. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Maria, by the way, is the same person who is about to have her story "Red" published. I met her at Bread Loaf in 2004. She and I were placed in the same dorm and had lots of great chats about writing. We've stayed in touch through e-mail, giving each other feedback on stories, chapters, and whatnot. And commiserating about writing.

One of the things that we bonded over: we were both in fiction workshops (different ones) and were both told our work was the strongest in the group. Being the doubting Thomas I am, I, of course thought my workshop leader said that to everyone. I was so doubtful (but also so excited it might be true) that I confided what my workshop leader said to Maria. She told me her workshop leader had said the same thing to her! And I absolutely agreed with that assessment. But then, doubting writers that we are, we wondered if workshop leaders told everyone that.

In retrospect, that is one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had (now knowing our workshops leaders a little better, they are not the kind of people to give false encouragement). But it makes sense to me that I doubted. Maria and I have also talked about the weird mix of arrogance and doubt all writers have.

For me, I feel the arrogance during the heat of writing. While I'm writing I think I am great. Talented. You better step back, bitches, ' cause there ain't no shame in my game. When I'm revising, I think it the book really and truly sucks. Stanks to high heaven, oh lord!

Welcome to writing. And revising.

Go, Illinois!

Here's an idea. If you're morally opposed to dispensing certain medications, perhaps you shouldn't be a pharmacist.

Do you think these pharmacists have a moral opposition to filling Viagra perscriptions?