Mid-life Crisis
Nate and I have been discussing the purchase of a new car. This is not an immediate purchase, probably about six months to a year in the future.
(A bit of history: Nate had a car in Chicago and I had a car in Austin. Before I moved to Chicago, we decided we didn't need two vehicles and since I was about to go to grad school, I decided I didn't need a car payment. So I sold my car to my mother, who was in the market for one. My car was a small SUV, bought because I lived in Florida at the time and was considering buying a boat. I wanted a vehicle with a trailer hitch and the power to pull. I ended up moving back to Texas, used the trailer hitch for a Uhaul, and never bought a boat. Now my mom has my car and I use Nate's car when I drive, although I suppose it is half mine, technically. I think I live in a community property state.)
ANYWAY, the whole point of this is that Nate thinks I should be the first to buy a car, since I gave up one when I moved here. I'm in the very inital stages of research. I'm not buying any magazines or surfing auto sites, but am noticing cars on the road and trying to remember makes and models. I could go in one of three directions.
1. an electric or hybrid car like the Honda hybrids or the Toyota Prius.
2. A utility car, like the SUV I had before. When I think a few years ahead, we have a house on the outskirts of a town, which will require us buying supplies, hauling things, on dirt roads as likely as not. I would also like to adopt two more dogs once we have the room, so I will need a big back seat.
3. A completely frivolous sports car before I have a need for baby seats and mortgages and planning for the future.
Last night, I told Nate my strategy.
"You know how people buy really fast sports cars when they have their mid-life crisis? I think I should buy my mid-life crisis car now and get it out of my system. Then when I have my real mid-life crisis, I'll do something sensible."
"What kind of car?"
"I think I need a very fast, small-penis type of car."
"Do you have a small penis?"
"Technically, I have a very small penis, invisible really, so I think I need a really fast car. What about a Porsche? That would work!"
"Well, people tend to have their mid-life crisis cars at mid life because they can, you know, afford them."
"Goddamn that logic."
Back to my daydreaming.
Wednesday
Tuesday
A Note on Proposals
Don't ask someone to marry you in a public place, unless you know she'll say yes.
Don't ask someone to marry you in a public place, unless you know she'll say yes.
Sunday
Weekend Word Count
I didn't write Thursday through Saturday. Today I wrote. So here goes.
1. 3,335
2. 6,499
That means I'm technically 501 words short for the first week, but I'm going to bed because it's the start of the work week and I don't want to be tired for the next five days.
Writing is a funny thing. I woke up this morning, inspired by a dream. The dream gave me insight into Eva's character and a situation she's in. But when I sat down to write, all this stuff came out about the grandather. And I just let it happen. Go on, grandpa. If you want to tell me a story, I'll listen.
Over the next couple of days, I'm hoping I can make up those 501 words. Let's hope. I don't have too much coming up, except for our party on Saturday.
I didn't write Thursday through Saturday. Today I wrote. So here goes.
1. 3,335
2. 6,499
That means I'm technically 501 words short for the first week, but I'm going to bed because it's the start of the work week and I don't want to be tired for the next five days.
Writing is a funny thing. I woke up this morning, inspired by a dream. The dream gave me insight into Eva's character and a situation she's in. But when I sat down to write, all this stuff came out about the grandather. And I just let it happen. Go on, grandpa. If you want to tell me a story, I'll listen.
Over the next couple of days, I'm hoping I can make up those 501 words. Let's hope. I don't have too much coming up, except for our party on Saturday.
Saturday
This Kills Me
I just got married six months ago, so perhaps I'm a little sentimental about this subject, but if people want to get married, then just give them a damn license. Congratulations to all the beautiful couples.
I just got married six months ago, so perhaps I'm a little sentimental about this subject, but if people want to get married, then just give them a damn license. Congratulations to all the beautiful couples.
Word Count
Thursday and Friday were a wash. So that would be:
1. 0
2. 3,164
for both days.
I have a lot of writing to catch up on over the weekend and I am tired. I work full time, take class on Friday, and work on Saturday to make up the hours I miss on Friday. So I really have only one day off, which is Sunday, and we spend that day cleaning the house, doing laundry, shopping for groceries, etc. The good news is that I'm done with school in May, so this isn't forever, but I'm dragging ass. I'm also not working out, which isn't helping, but I'm so busy and tired it's hard to add one more thing. I'm going to try anyhow because I know it will improve my energy level. Plus, my sleep schedule is all wacky because I stay up late some nights to get my writing or homework done and other days I get up early. My body clock is all jacked up.
But spring is on its way to Chicago and I know I'm acclimated to the Midwest because it's in the 40s and I think that's nice weather. I can't wait for the flowers to bloom and the birdies to come back. Spring and summer are a nice time in Chicago and I'm starting to really enjoy and appreciate the city.
Thursday
Wednesday's Word Count
Today: 1,121
Total: 3,164
This word count thing is interesting. It's sort of freeing me up to write about whatever comes to mind (things I might discount or leave out when I am Writing, you know, when I'm convinced I have to try real hard because I'm creating Literature instead of just a story) because I have a word count to meet. The writing seems a little rougher, since I'm writing and moving on instead of writing and revising, but maybe that's a good thing. Later, we'll see if all the tangents I'm including add dimension or if it's just crap that takes me off track. But so far, so good. I'm kind of liking this fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of writing.
Now I've got to do some homework.
Today: 1,121
Total: 3,164
This word count thing is interesting. It's sort of freeing me up to write about whatever comes to mind (things I might discount or leave out when I am Writing, you know, when I'm convinced I have to try real hard because I'm creating Literature instead of just a story) because I have a word count to meet. The writing seems a little rougher, since I'm writing and moving on instead of writing and revising, but maybe that's a good thing. Later, we'll see if all the tangents I'm including add dimension or if it's just crap that takes me off track. But so far, so good. I'm kind of liking this fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of writing.
Now I've got to do some homework.
Tuesday
New Blog
Today, I found Ana Castillo's blog. I also just found out she was at the same event I was at on Friday night. Apparently, I served her a couple of margaritas. Although I didn't know who she was, I noticed her because I thought she was a very striking woman. If I had known it was her I would have introduced myself.
Word Count
So I've started doing this thing one of my writing profs recommends. Which is: set a daily goal for yourself to write a certain number of words, set a time limit (say, four weeks), and then go. Yesterday was the first day for me. My goal, so everyone knows, is 1,000 words for four weeks, stretched to six if I have the stamina. So I'm going to start updating like this:
1. word count for the day
2. total word count
Yesterday I fell asleep at 7 p.m. I was just exhausted. I didn't meet my word count, but I did get some words made. Here goes:
1. 279
2. 279
Hopefully today there will be more.
Monday
The Worst of Both Worlds
There have been countless essays written on the matter of assimilation, acculturation, ethnicity, identity, etc. Writers such as Sandra Cisneros, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Ana Castillo, and countless others write about living with the hyphen. I debate things like, should I call myself a Mexican? Tejana? Latina? Chicana?
What no one talks about, however, is the kind of thing I witnessed on Friday night. I was at a Valentine's Day event and the DJ had been playing a wide mix of songs. Disco, '80s, salsa, merengue, norteño. I turned to my husband and said, "This is the kind of DJ I wanted for our wedding." And then the DJ put on the song.
If you are a fortunate soul, you have never had to listen to "My Achy-Breaky Heart." I lived in Texas for most of my life, so I heard it more than I care to admit. I know some of the lyrics solely due to osmosis. On Friday night, for the first time, I heard this song in Spanish. And then people started line dancing. Mexican people. That was when the worst of both my worlds collided. Billy Ray Cyrus + Spanish + line dancing = Yvonne whispering, "the horror, the horror" to herself.
No one in the Latino/Chicano movement mentions these kinds of moments, so I will. A beautiful blending of cultures? Or the end of brown pride as we know it? You decide.
There have been countless essays written on the matter of assimilation, acculturation, ethnicity, identity, etc. Writers such as Sandra Cisneros, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Ana Castillo, and countless others write about living with the hyphen. I debate things like, should I call myself a Mexican? Tejana? Latina? Chicana?
What no one talks about, however, is the kind of thing I witnessed on Friday night. I was at a Valentine's Day event and the DJ had been playing a wide mix of songs. Disco, '80s, salsa, merengue, norteño. I turned to my husband and said, "This is the kind of DJ I wanted for our wedding." And then the DJ put on the song.
If you are a fortunate soul, you have never had to listen to "My Achy-Breaky Heart." I lived in Texas for most of my life, so I heard it more than I care to admit. I know some of the lyrics solely due to osmosis. On Friday night, for the first time, I heard this song in Spanish. And then people started line dancing. Mexican people. That was when the worst of both my worlds collided. Billy Ray Cyrus + Spanish + line dancing = Yvonne whispering, "the horror, the horror" to herself.
No one in the Latino/Chicano movement mentions these kinds of moments, so I will. A beautiful blending of cultures? Or the end of brown pride as we know it? You decide.
Tuesday
Anniversary and Random Thoughts
So, we moved. At one point, when my mother called to ask me how it was going, I started bawling. Later that night, I told my husband, "I am 29 years old and I just cried to my mommy." In my defense, I cried for the following reasons: I was exhausted; I hate moving; the pipes froze in our new place on the night we moved in (which meant there was water gushing out of the walls and no heat in half of the house); Nate fell on the icy stairs, hit his back, with a trunk landing on his stomach, and I watched the whole thing happen from about two feet away; I had just started school; and I had to go to work on Monday even though I didn't know where anything was, including my deodorant, because a big grant was due. So, wah.
Good news is that I'm better. Still busy as hell, but better. School is going to be a bitch and work is busy and I have to write a thesis and and and and. So, I think I might have to cut down on social obligations. Right after I finish with the next two weeks, which is filled with work events, birthdays, an anniversary, and our housewarming party. Right after that. Right ....
And now for the novel. Has not been abandoned. Has not been forgotten. I'm working with a prof this semester who is very in favor of meeting a daily word count. It doesn't matter what you write, as long as you try to meet the goal you set for yourself every day. So, starting Monday, I will try to write 1,000 words per day for four weeks (I'll extend to six if I have the stamina). Then I'll take a break. Depending on where I'm at with the novel at the end of this marathon I might have to do more weeks to get a draft of the whole she-bang. We'll see. So, starting on Monday I'll be keeping a tally on this page and an on-going tally on my novel page. Follow the bouncing ball at home, boys and girls!
And, for a final random thought. While I was riding the train home last night, I saw a young man wearing a black trench coat. He also had a black cowboy hat with a snakeskin scarf tied around it. He held an unlit cigarette in his mouth the whole ride, which was about 20 minutes, and he had two tears (tattoos? eye makeup?) that dripped from the corners of both eyes. As I looked at him, I smiled. And I thought, "Man, I am so old. I can't even remember the last time I put that much thought into an outfit."
So, we moved. At one point, when my mother called to ask me how it was going, I started bawling. Later that night, I told my husband, "I am 29 years old and I just cried to my mommy." In my defense, I cried for the following reasons: I was exhausted; I hate moving; the pipes froze in our new place on the night we moved in (which meant there was water gushing out of the walls and no heat in half of the house); Nate fell on the icy stairs, hit his back, with a trunk landing on his stomach, and I watched the whole thing happen from about two feet away; I had just started school; and I had to go to work on Monday even though I didn't know where anything was, including my deodorant, because a big grant was due. So, wah.
Good news is that I'm better. Still busy as hell, but better. School is going to be a bitch and work is busy and I have to write a thesis and and and and. So, I think I might have to cut down on social obligations. Right after I finish with the next two weeks, which is filled with work events, birthdays, an anniversary, and our housewarming party. Right after that. Right ....
And now for the novel. Has not been abandoned. Has not been forgotten. I'm working with a prof this semester who is very in favor of meeting a daily word count. It doesn't matter what you write, as long as you try to meet the goal you set for yourself every day. So, starting Monday, I will try to write 1,000 words per day for four weeks (I'll extend to six if I have the stamina). Then I'll take a break. Depending on where I'm at with the novel at the end of this marathon I might have to do more weeks to get a draft of the whole she-bang. We'll see. So, starting on Monday I'll be keeping a tally on this page and an on-going tally on my novel page. Follow the bouncing ball at home, boys and girls!
And, for a final random thought. While I was riding the train home last night, I saw a young man wearing a black trench coat. He also had a black cowboy hat with a snakeskin scarf tied around it. He held an unlit cigarette in his mouth the whole ride, which was about 20 minutes, and he had two tears (tattoos? eye makeup?) that dripped from the corners of both eyes. As I looked at him, I smiled. And I thought, "Man, I am so old. I can't even remember the last time I put that much thought into an outfit."