Settling In
We moved with no broken bones or major difficulties. It definitely seemed as though more of our things were damaged this time around, but this was our third move in less than a year, a cross-country relocation that had most of our belongings in storage for five months, so what can you do? Hopefully we won't move again anytime soon. (Famous last words.)
We are settling in and you can see pictures of our new home if you go to Nate's gallery page. These pictures were taken before everything was moved in and we might wait to post new pictures until after we've painted and arranged things the way we want them. It's fun having so much space, although a little intimidating. We've never lived in such a big house before and right now we don't have enough furniture for it. But everyone keeps telling me that will change with time.
Adding to all the excitement, Nate was on a local news channel for work yesteday. He looked really handsome. Crazy things happening around here lately!
Wednesday
Thursday
Our House and Writing About Writing
Do you remember the '80s song with the line, "Our house/in the middle of the street"? That lyric has been in my head for days. Sad when bad '80s songs from your childhood inform your adult life. But we're buying a house! Not in the middle of a street, but rather, on a corner lot. A rather large one, about 1/4 of an acre. We close on Monday and start moving on Wednesday with a short break to eat some turkey for that little national holiday on Thursday. Nate and I are ready to go. We can't wait to be in our new place.
I'm going to write a little about writing, which is the time for most of you to go on your merry way. (I know how boring it is to read about writing. Unless you are a writer.) At the end of October, I finished the first draft of the novel I've been working on for about two years (longer if you count the time I was just thinking about the idea). Actually, this spring, it will be three years I've been working on the book. It would have taken me much longer to finish the draft if I hadn't been able to take off about two and a half months this summer. Writing full time for two months was HUGE (as Trump would say). I got more done in those 2.5 months than I did in the two years I spent working on it previously. Partly that was due to knowing the story pretty well at that point, but having hours and hours to do nothing but write was a huge luxury and benefit. There's no doubt that free time helped me finish.
Now, for the bad news. I emailed one of my old writing profs and told her I had finished a draft. She wrote: "Congratulations! You're more than halfway done." Halfway, people. Seriously.
And now I'm working full time again. No complaints about that. I like my job, and I especially like the money. I need the money since I am about to sell my soul on Monday to the mortgage company (maybe it just feels that way). But, working has definitely limited my writing time. So has looking for and buying a house. So will moving. So will settling in. So will life and all of its daily obstacles.
So I'm reverting to my old schedule of getting up at 5 am so I can write before work. Those pre-dawn hours are harsh. They force you to be a little more truthful with yourself because, for some reason, lies you tell yourself at noon or at midnight just don't hold up when you're prying your eyes open with your fingers and walking to the coffee maker like a zombie. And as I sat at my desk making notes this morning, I had to be honest with myself. I have no idea how long it will take me to rewrite this thing while I'm working full time. So I'm just going to start revising and do the best I can.
At this point, I'm doing what Carolyn See recommends in her book, Making a Literary Life. When you are ready to start revising, she suggests making a sort of map, a list of What You Have, next to a list of What You Need. So, for example, in my case, one thing would be, I HAVE a scene of the family at a New Year's Eve gathering. I NEED to add stuff from an earlier section about the father (the chapter is told from his point of view) so the readers will care about what he thinks and feels as you're introduced to the evening and the family.
I plan on doing at least three major revisions.
1. Take care of nagging decisions I couldn't make while I was writing. For instance, I have two characters, old childhood friends, who meet up on a night when both are feeling low and lonely and there's a lot of drinking involved. I always knew Eva would hit on David. But I wasn't sure if David would sleep with her or not. Those are the kinds of things I want to address in the the first revision go-around. Make the decisions I didn't make the first time and alter later chapters that those decisions affect.
Also, work on the sequential order of the novel. Oh, did I mention I don't tell the story chronologically? (At this point I'm thinking, what am I, an idiot? I have six major characters, a non-chronological plot, 400 pages (in a 10-point font), for a first novel? When I've never done this before! I've got to be crazy. Anyway.) See recommends revising for only two hours at a time, with a drink nearby if you need it. I do need the drink, as the previous thoughts suggest, but unfortunately, at 5 am, the only thing I'm drinking is coffee.
2. Round 2 will involve going through each character's chapters and trying to make them sound like that individual person. Really trying to make each character come through and making sure their chapters (since they aren't in sequential order!) make sense when you read them as a whole.
3. Tighten, tighten, tighten. Pay attention to the word and sentence level and try to make those sentences work.
4. Take a long-ass nap.
How long will this take? Your guess is as good as mine. I'll let you know when I've made substantial progress or when anything interesting comes up.
Do you remember the '80s song with the line, "Our house/in the middle of the street"? That lyric has been in my head for days. Sad when bad '80s songs from your childhood inform your adult life. But we're buying a house! Not in the middle of a street, but rather, on a corner lot. A rather large one, about 1/4 of an acre. We close on Monday and start moving on Wednesday with a short break to eat some turkey for that little national holiday on Thursday. Nate and I are ready to go. We can't wait to be in our new place.
I'm going to write a little about writing, which is the time for most of you to go on your merry way. (I know how boring it is to read about writing. Unless you are a writer.) At the end of October, I finished the first draft of the novel I've been working on for about two years (longer if you count the time I was just thinking about the idea). Actually, this spring, it will be three years I've been working on the book. It would have taken me much longer to finish the draft if I hadn't been able to take off about two and a half months this summer. Writing full time for two months was HUGE (as Trump would say). I got more done in those 2.5 months than I did in the two years I spent working on it previously. Partly that was due to knowing the story pretty well at that point, but having hours and hours to do nothing but write was a huge luxury and benefit. There's no doubt that free time helped me finish.
Now, for the bad news. I emailed one of my old writing profs and told her I had finished a draft. She wrote: "Congratulations! You're more than halfway done." Halfway, people. Seriously.
And now I'm working full time again. No complaints about that. I like my job, and I especially like the money. I need the money since I am about to sell my soul on Monday to the mortgage company (maybe it just feels that way). But, working has definitely limited my writing time. So has looking for and buying a house. So will moving. So will settling in. So will life and all of its daily obstacles.
So I'm reverting to my old schedule of getting up at 5 am so I can write before work. Those pre-dawn hours are harsh. They force you to be a little more truthful with yourself because, for some reason, lies you tell yourself at noon or at midnight just don't hold up when you're prying your eyes open with your fingers and walking to the coffee maker like a zombie. And as I sat at my desk making notes this morning, I had to be honest with myself. I have no idea how long it will take me to rewrite this thing while I'm working full time. So I'm just going to start revising and do the best I can.
At this point, I'm doing what Carolyn See recommends in her book, Making a Literary Life. When you are ready to start revising, she suggests making a sort of map, a list of What You Have, next to a list of What You Need. So, for example, in my case, one thing would be, I HAVE a scene of the family at a New Year's Eve gathering. I NEED to add stuff from an earlier section about the father (the chapter is told from his point of view) so the readers will care about what he thinks and feels as you're introduced to the evening and the family.
I plan on doing at least three major revisions.
1. Take care of nagging decisions I couldn't make while I was writing. For instance, I have two characters, old childhood friends, who meet up on a night when both are feeling low and lonely and there's a lot of drinking involved. I always knew Eva would hit on David. But I wasn't sure if David would sleep with her or not. Those are the kinds of things I want to address in the the first revision go-around. Make the decisions I didn't make the first time and alter later chapters that those decisions affect.
Also, work on the sequential order of the novel. Oh, did I mention I don't tell the story chronologically? (At this point I'm thinking, what am I, an idiot? I have six major characters, a non-chronological plot, 400 pages (in a 10-point font), for a first novel? When I've never done this before! I've got to be crazy. Anyway.) See recommends revising for only two hours at a time, with a drink nearby if you need it. I do need the drink, as the previous thoughts suggest, but unfortunately, at 5 am, the only thing I'm drinking is coffee.
2. Round 2 will involve going through each character's chapters and trying to make them sound like that individual person. Really trying to make each character come through and making sure their chapters (since they aren't in sequential order!) make sense when you read them as a whole.
3. Tighten, tighten, tighten. Pay attention to the word and sentence level and try to make those sentences work.
4. Take a long-ass nap.
How long will this take? Your guess is as good as mine. I'll let you know when I've made substantial progress or when anything interesting comes up.
Friday
Writing Update
Well, since I finished my draft at the end of October, I haven't had any time or energy to start rewriting. Buying a house is a time-consuming process. And since we've never had a house before, we have to buy pretty much everything (refridgerator, washer/dryer, real furniture, etc.), and shopping for those things is taking some time, too.
Once we move in, we'll work on the yard, painting, the fireplace, etc. So when will I have time to begin rewriting? That's something I'm trying to figure out ... although I've also thought that perhaps the time away from the manuscript is a good thing. Maybe I'll come back to the story with fresh eyes. I'll let you know how the novel progresses.
Well, since I finished my draft at the end of October, I haven't had any time or energy to start rewriting. Buying a house is a time-consuming process. And since we've never had a house before, we have to buy pretty much everything (refridgerator, washer/dryer, real furniture, etc.), and shopping for those things is taking some time, too.
Once we move in, we'll work on the yard, painting, the fireplace, etc. So when will I have time to begin rewriting? That's something I'm trying to figure out ... although I've also thought that perhaps the time away from the manuscript is a good thing. Maybe I'll come back to the story with fresh eyes. I'll let you know how the novel progresses.
Thursday
I Feel a Little Better Today
Sort of like the day after a bad hangover.
I noticed that a lot of my co-workers came in late or not at all yesterday, which makes sense, seeing as how I work in the arts and there are likely more Democrats here than elsewhere. I live in what is widely considered the conservative/Republican city of Dallas. I've never lived in a city before where Democrats are "in the closet" or where sometimes they keep their opinions to themselves because it's just easier when you are in the minority. So even though there were late arrivals and no-shows, I didn't hear one person talk about the election. It's an interesting and saddening experience.
I've met a lot of Dems here, Texas Southern Dems, who many would have you believe are a dying breed. I don't think that's true. Outnumbered, yes, but not dead. And life goes on.
I'm going to Austin tonight to meet up with Nate, who had to travel there for work. Kinda funny that we had to be there last week for my job. This time I get to just have fun and drink and relax and recover. I hope you do the same, R, D, or L.
Sort of like the day after a bad hangover.
I noticed that a lot of my co-workers came in late or not at all yesterday, which makes sense, seeing as how I work in the arts and there are likely more Democrats here than elsewhere. I live in what is widely considered the conservative/Republican city of Dallas. I've never lived in a city before where Democrats are "in the closet" or where sometimes they keep their opinions to themselves because it's just easier when you are in the minority. So even though there were late arrivals and no-shows, I didn't hear one person talk about the election. It's an interesting and saddening experience.
I've met a lot of Dems here, Texas Southern Dems, who many would have you believe are a dying breed. I don't think that's true. Outnumbered, yes, but not dead. And life goes on.
I'm going to Austin tonight to meet up with Nate, who had to travel there for work. Kinda funny that we had to be there last week for my job. This time I get to just have fun and drink and relax and recover. I hope you do the same, R, D, or L.
Wednesday
What Can I Say?
That these don't express more clearly?
Four more years. America will regret it. At least half of us will.
That these don't express more clearly?
Four more years. America will regret it. At least half of us will.
Two Random Bits
I have found another "it's so bad it's good" show called Dance 360. Perhaps my love of dance shows and my desire to one day participate in a dance-off influences my perception, but I love any show that has a "head to head" competition between audience members. Especially when the host says something like, "Bring your best, 'cause you're gonna be jugded." Ahh, yeah!
The second random bit involves a person who requested some info about the program I work for. I was taking down her information to send her a brochure and her address was on a street called "Killdeer." First, it made me realize that I am truly back in Texas. And 2, it made me want to live on a street called "Trimbush." But that's just me.
That's likely all for the next few days while I get my Texas Book Festival on.
Monday
Feeling Adult
Well, it has been quite a weekend.
We put an offer on another house. A house which, coincidentally, is bigger and down the street from the first house we put a bid on. The sellers countered, we accepted, and later this afternoon we are going in to fill out the required paper work. We still have to get through the inspection and the appraisal, but unless something unexpected happens, it looks like we could be moving into our house (our house--something I've never said before) around Thanksgiving.
Buying a house is a big thing.
The other big thing is that I finished a draft of my novel yesterday. That draft has been long in coming. I'm glad to be finished, but mostly I'm just tired. I'm going over what I have this week, sort of trying to figure out a game plan, and I'll start rewriting around Nov. 1. I have to go to the Texas Book Festival on Thursday, and I'll be in Austin through Sunday, so I doubt I'll get any major work in before then.
Do you want to write a novel? You might try NaNoWriMo. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, will be to write a novel during the month of November. I'm not going to join up this year since I think it would be cheating, but I am going to try to get a revision of the novel in one month. I think I need to do at least 3-4 serious revisions and then a few more proofing look-sees, but what the hell do I know? I've never done this before. Right now, my hope is to revise in 3-6 months. Will I meet my deadline? Will I ever finish? Stay tuned ....
Well, it has been quite a weekend.
We put an offer on another house. A house which, coincidentally, is bigger and down the street from the first house we put a bid on. The sellers countered, we accepted, and later this afternoon we are going in to fill out the required paper work. We still have to get through the inspection and the appraisal, but unless something unexpected happens, it looks like we could be moving into our house (our house--something I've never said before) around Thanksgiving.
Buying a house is a big thing.
The other big thing is that I finished a draft of my novel yesterday. That draft has been long in coming. I'm glad to be finished, but mostly I'm just tired. I'm going over what I have this week, sort of trying to figure out a game plan, and I'll start rewriting around Nov. 1. I have to go to the Texas Book Festival on Thursday, and I'll be in Austin through Sunday, so I doubt I'll get any major work in before then.
Do you want to write a novel? You might try NaNoWriMo. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, will be to write a novel during the month of November. I'm not going to join up this year since I think it would be cheating, but I am going to try to get a revision of the novel in one month. I think I need to do at least 3-4 serious revisions and then a few more proofing look-sees, but what the hell do I know? I've never done this before. Right now, my hope is to revise in 3-6 months. Will I meet my deadline? Will I ever finish? Stay tuned ....
Friday
NY Times Editorial
"Dr. Gene Bolles spent two years as the chief of neurosurgery at the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany, which is where most of the soldiers wounded in Iraq are taken. Among his patients was Pfc. Jessica Lynch. In an interview posted this week on the Web site AlterNet.org, Dr. Bolles was asked: 'What kind of cases did you treat in Landstuhl? And these were mostly kids, right?'
He said: 'Well, I call them that since I'm 62 years old. And they were 18, 19, maybe 21. They all seemed young. Certainly younger than my children. As a neurosurgeon I mostly dealt with injuries to the brain, the spinal cord, or the spine itself. The injuries were all fairly horrific, anywhere from the loss of extremities, multiple extremities, to severe burns. It just goes on and on and on. ... As a doctor myself who has seen trauma throughout his career, I've never seen it to this degree. The numbers, the degree of injuries. It really kind of caught me off guard.'
If you're the president and you're contemplating a war in which thousands of deaths and tens of thousands of these kinds of injuries will take place, you have an obligation to seek out the best sources of information and the wisest advice from the widest possible array of counselors. And you have an absolute obligation to exercise sound judgment based upon facts, and not simply faith."
Read the rest here.
And if you didn't read "Without a Doubt," an article in last Sunday's Times Magazine, you should. It's a great article about Bush's faith-based presidency.
"Dr. Gene Bolles spent two years as the chief of neurosurgery at the Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany, which is where most of the soldiers wounded in Iraq are taken. Among his patients was Pfc. Jessica Lynch. In an interview posted this week on the Web site AlterNet.org, Dr. Bolles was asked: 'What kind of cases did you treat in Landstuhl? And these were mostly kids, right?'
He said: 'Well, I call them that since I'm 62 years old. And they were 18, 19, maybe 21. They all seemed young. Certainly younger than my children. As a neurosurgeon I mostly dealt with injuries to the brain, the spinal cord, or the spine itself. The injuries were all fairly horrific, anywhere from the loss of extremities, multiple extremities, to severe burns. It just goes on and on and on. ... As a doctor myself who has seen trauma throughout his career, I've never seen it to this degree. The numbers, the degree of injuries. It really kind of caught me off guard.'
If you're the president and you're contemplating a war in which thousands of deaths and tens of thousands of these kinds of injuries will take place, you have an obligation to seek out the best sources of information and the wisest advice from the widest possible array of counselors. And you have an absolute obligation to exercise sound judgment based upon facts, and not simply faith."
Read the rest here.
And if you didn't read "Without a Doubt," an article in last Sunday's Times Magazine, you should. It's a great article about Bush's faith-based presidency.
Fort Davis and Losing a House
Last weekend we went to Midland for my Dad's surprise 55th birthday party. The party was a success and everything went well (except my Abuelita had a health scare). The birthday menu included raw oysters, carne asada, brisket, and all the normal barbecue trimmin's. And two cakes. And lots of beer. And washers (for the uninitiated, it's similar to horseshoes).
We also went to Fort Davis and got to wear blue ribbons with "Descendents" written on them. That was due to Mr. Dietrick Dutchover himself and we met a few Dutchovers. I also read a great story about Dietrick hiding on the roof of one of the fort buildings during an Apache attack. Only three or four settlers survived that attack and it was interesting thinking: wow, if he had been a little slower, I wouldn't be here today. Way to go, Dietrick! Plus, there's that whole Apache attack thing. Amazing to think of a time when that was a regular occurence. You can see some of the Fort Davis pictures on Nate's site, in the gallery section.
In Dallas news, Nate and I found and fell in mild love with a house. We put a bid on it yesterday and found out someone else had already done the same thing. Today we were told we could counter-offer but we got the sense the seller was trying to start a bidding war, so we backed out. Very disappointing, but there are other houses in the same neighborhood (even one on the same street) available, so it seemed silly to go all out on this house. So the search continues ...
Monday
Things Aren't That Bad
Well, after the presidential debate, I feel a little better, although my reading is still depressing me. But life goes on.
Friday was my Nate's birthday and we started celebrating on Thursday and finished on Sunday, so all in all, things were pretty good for a birthday celebration.
We also started looking at houses and were neither excited (we saw several nice houses but not our house yet), nor dismayed. We're starting to get an idea of what we can afford and what kind of house that will be. I'm almost 100% positive that we are going to spend more than we first thought, which is what I'm sure almost everyone does, but how much more is yet to be determined. Life will definitely be interesting in the coming months as we look for houses and figure out what exactly we want.
To give you an idea, yesterday we saw a really great cottage in an old part of town that had been worked on but not completely renovated. It was a very cute house with gorgeous wood floors and tons of windows. The problems: the best bathroom was in the hall, not the one near the master bedroom, which meant guests would be using our bathroom (not a huge issue, but something to consider). The plentiful windows, while providing tons of light, were original and the house was built in 1911, so can you say drafty? We knew the energy waste would be high and also the utility bills. Fixable, but slightly pricey. There were five doors in this house: a front door, a back door, and a door to each bedroom leading outside. We figured at some point the house was converted into a rental unit, with each room having its own private door. Now, having five points of entry in a three bedroom house is freaky and gave me some security concerns but doors can be replaced. This was a pretty big problem because all solutions to the multiple doors will require time and money. And finally, in this old house, there were only two closets, both very tiny. So, some problems and issues and work needed. In the end, it didn't feel right anyway, but that example goes to show how many little things you have to think about. Neighborhood, style of house, size, amenities, price, etc. How much work are we willing to do? That's a question we're asking ourselves now.
This weekend we're going to Midland to visit the familia and also driving to Fort Davis. They are having their 150-year anniversary and we're going since there is also going to be a Dutchover family reunion that same weekend. Should be fun, but there's going to be a lot of driving.
Well, after the presidential debate, I feel a little better, although my reading is still depressing me. But life goes on.
Friday was my Nate's birthday and we started celebrating on Thursday and finished on Sunday, so all in all, things were pretty good for a birthday celebration.
We also started looking at houses and were neither excited (we saw several nice houses but not our house yet), nor dismayed. We're starting to get an idea of what we can afford and what kind of house that will be. I'm almost 100% positive that we are going to spend more than we first thought, which is what I'm sure almost everyone does, but how much more is yet to be determined. Life will definitely be interesting in the coming months as we look for houses and figure out what exactly we want.
To give you an idea, yesterday we saw a really great cottage in an old part of town that had been worked on but not completely renovated. It was a very cute house with gorgeous wood floors and tons of windows. The problems: the best bathroom was in the hall, not the one near the master bedroom, which meant guests would be using our bathroom (not a huge issue, but something to consider). The plentiful windows, while providing tons of light, were original and the house was built in 1911, so can you say drafty? We knew the energy waste would be high and also the utility bills. Fixable, but slightly pricey. There were five doors in this house: a front door, a back door, and a door to each bedroom leading outside. We figured at some point the house was converted into a rental unit, with each room having its own private door. Now, having five points of entry in a three bedroom house is freaky and gave me some security concerns but doors can be replaced. This was a pretty big problem because all solutions to the multiple doors will require time and money. And finally, in this old house, there were only two closets, both very tiny. So, some problems and issues and work needed. In the end, it didn't feel right anyway, but that example goes to show how many little things you have to think about. Neighborhood, style of house, size, amenities, price, etc. How much work are we willing to do? That's a question we're asking ourselves now.
This weekend we're going to Midland to visit the familia and also driving to Fort Davis. They are having their 150-year anniversary and we're going since there is also going to be a Dutchover family reunion that same weekend. Should be fun, but there's going to be a lot of driving.
Thursday
Before the Debate
I saw this article yesterday. Bush's hometown paper endorses Kerry. I've been reading various books and articles about 9/11, Bush, the Israel-Palestine conflict, etc. that are just depressing the hell out of me. I also read this (look for the 9/29 post titled "WSJ reporter Fassihi's e-mail to friends," which is an email from a Wall Street Journal reporter about the war in Iraq (seen on Pamie). Anyway, I can't think too much about the war, Bush, or terrorism without wanting to take a nap, so I'll change the subject.
I love my new job. But after having most of the summer off, I'm having a little bit of trouble getting back into the swing of a full-time job. I mean this only in the scheduling sense. I'm tired and having a hard time doing all the things I want to do in the day (especially writing). I'm in the new job adjustment period, which one friend told me lasts about a month, so hopefully I'll be able to pull it together soon. This is a very minor complaint, more like an observation. I'm just trying to figure out how to work full time, finish my book, and spend time with my husband. And work out, and clean the house, and cook, and, you know, have a life. The same problem everyone else in the world is trying to figure out, unless we die in the meantime. I mean, we all gotta die sometime, right?
See the train of thought my brain is on when I think about the current political situation? Scary. My opinion of current events is so poor that I think, "Well, I'll be dead someday and it won't matter." Sad, sad, sad. I think I'm becoming a pessimist.
I saw this article yesterday. Bush's hometown paper endorses Kerry. I've been reading various books and articles about 9/11, Bush, the Israel-Palestine conflict, etc. that are just depressing the hell out of me. I also read this (look for the 9/29 post titled "WSJ reporter Fassihi's e-mail to friends," which is an email from a Wall Street Journal reporter about the war in Iraq (seen on Pamie). Anyway, I can't think too much about the war, Bush, or terrorism without wanting to take a nap, so I'll change the subject.
I love my new job. But after having most of the summer off, I'm having a little bit of trouble getting back into the swing of a full-time job. I mean this only in the scheduling sense. I'm tired and having a hard time doing all the things I want to do in the day (especially writing). I'm in the new job adjustment period, which one friend told me lasts about a month, so hopefully I'll be able to pull it together soon. This is a very minor complaint, more like an observation. I'm just trying to figure out how to work full time, finish my book, and spend time with my husband. And work out, and clean the house, and cook, and, you know, have a life. The same problem everyone else in the world is trying to figure out, unless we die in the meantime. I mean, we all gotta die sometime, right?
See the train of thought my brain is on when I think about the current political situation? Scary. My opinion of current events is so poor that I think, "Well, I'll be dead someday and it won't matter." Sad, sad, sad. I think I'm becoming a pessimist.
Tuesday
9/11 Widows
The "Jersey Girls," four 9/11 widows, endorse John Kerry, even though at least two of them voted for Bush in 2000.
"'The truth is, after watching the Republican convention in New York, I am scared. I am scared of the mentality,' said Kirsten Breitweiser, the most celebrated of the self-styled Jersey Girls, four widows who led a dogged campaign to force the Bush administration to establish an independent investigation into the attacks."
The "Jersey Girls," four 9/11 widows, endorse John Kerry, even though at least two of them voted for Bush in 2000.
"'The truth is, after watching the Republican convention in New York, I am scared. I am scared of the mentality,' said Kirsten Breitweiser, the most celebrated of the self-styled Jersey Girls, four widows who led a dogged campaign to force the Bush administration to establish an independent investigation into the attacks."
Saturday
Employed
Through a strange twist of events, I seem to have landed my dream job.
Nate and I had a plan regarding our move to Dallas. Since I was going to quit a job I enjoyed because of his job relocation, we decided that I would get to take some time off to write my novel. Also, I had been accepted into a writer's conference, and since it was 11 days long, the unemployment timing worked out really well. I didn't think it would make sense to try to find a new job and then ask for almost two weeks off. So I didn't really look for work during July and August. I applied for two jobs during those two months, I think, and had a first-round interview for one, and didn't get hired, which I am now thankful for.
I got back from Bread Loaf and started looking for a job more seriously. And I got really depressed. For two weeks, I didn't see any writing or arts related jobs at all. I had started considering other kinds of jobs, which Nate talked me out of applying for. He argued that we are no dire need of money and that I should try to find something I would like. And he also said he thought I was getting depressed for no reason because the way things tend to work for me is that I get anxious and impatient about something and then that thing suddenly appears in my life and I say, "Woah, wait, isn't this happening kind of fast?" Which is pretty much what happened here.
On Tuesday I applied for what can very nearly be described as my dream job. The position is to help coordinate a series of author readings here in Dallas. So the job duties include things like: researching authors; reading the invited authors' books; entertaining those authors while they are in Dallas; and attending book and literary festivals to scope out future invitees. On Wednesday I had a phone interview. I interviewed in person on Thursday. They offered me the job on Friday and I start working on Monday.
I know this will be a job, like any job, with duties and assorted things I may not like about it. No position is perfect, but I think this job is going to be close, and perhaps a little dangerous for me. Because books and writing are my crack. (Case in point: I stayed up until 5 am last night/this morning finishing a book because I get obsessed like that. Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver, in case you're interested.) I am essentially going to get paid to do what I like to do anyway. Read, research writers, and go to book festivals. I'm feeling pretty darn lucky right now. And happy.
Through a strange twist of events, I seem to have landed my dream job.
Nate and I had a plan regarding our move to Dallas. Since I was going to quit a job I enjoyed because of his job relocation, we decided that I would get to take some time off to write my novel. Also, I had been accepted into a writer's conference, and since it was 11 days long, the unemployment timing worked out really well. I didn't think it would make sense to try to find a new job and then ask for almost two weeks off. So I didn't really look for work during July and August. I applied for two jobs during those two months, I think, and had a first-round interview for one, and didn't get hired, which I am now thankful for.
I got back from Bread Loaf and started looking for a job more seriously. And I got really depressed. For two weeks, I didn't see any writing or arts related jobs at all. I had started considering other kinds of jobs, which Nate talked me out of applying for. He argued that we are no dire need of money and that I should try to find something I would like. And he also said he thought I was getting depressed for no reason because the way things tend to work for me is that I get anxious and impatient about something and then that thing suddenly appears in my life and I say, "Woah, wait, isn't this happening kind of fast?" Which is pretty much what happened here.
On Tuesday I applied for what can very nearly be described as my dream job. The position is to help coordinate a series of author readings here in Dallas. So the job duties include things like: researching authors; reading the invited authors' books; entertaining those authors while they are in Dallas; and attending book and literary festivals to scope out future invitees. On Wednesday I had a phone interview. I interviewed in person on Thursday. They offered me the job on Friday and I start working on Monday.
I know this will be a job, like any job, with duties and assorted things I may not like about it. No position is perfect, but I think this job is going to be close, and perhaps a little dangerous for me. Because books and writing are my crack. (Case in point: I stayed up until 5 am last night/this morning finishing a book because I get obsessed like that. Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver, in case you're interested.) I am essentially going to get paid to do what I like to do anyway. Read, research writers, and go to book festivals. I'm feeling pretty darn lucky right now. And happy.
Wednesday
Oh, the Irony
As I get closer to finishing the draft of the novel, as I know more and more about my characters, as I have fewer and fewer doubts about what will happen next or how the characters would respond, I find myself slowing down. I don't think it's any kind of a block or fear of failure or any other psychoanalytical bs. I think as I near the end, it feels like a good-bye. And I've been living with these characters for two years now, longer if you count the time the idea was in my head but not yet on paper. So it's hard for me to let go, even though this is just a draft and after it's finished, the real work will begin. So even though I'm months away from truly being done, it still feels like the beginning of the end, which is why I'm slowing down. I guess. Still, no matter how much I drag my feet, I should be done with the draft by the end of September. (Knock on wood. Hope I didn't just jinx myself there.) In fact, if I were writing at the rate I was earlier in the summer, I would already be finished.
I've been thinking about productivity in terms of writing, probably because I read several writing-related blogs and some of those are written by successful, published novelists. And I think that publishing one book a year, while probably optimum for sales, is not so good for the writing. I think it is very difficult to write a serious book in a year and damn-near impossible to do it year after year. Some stories are gifts. William Faulkner reportedly wrote As I Lay Dying in six weeks, but that kind of thing happens once (twice, if you're lucky) in a lifetime. I think your brain needs time to recover after writing a book. And if you push yourself to produce another one too soon, you're bound to produce some derivative stuff. I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule and some people can effortlessly produce masterpieces in six months but I think those writers are rare.
And when I say "serious" I don't necessarily mean "literary." I read all kinds of fiction--genre, literary, whatever. If it's got a good story, I'll read it. When I say serious, I mean a writer's best effort, not which section the novel will find itself placed in a book store.
As I get closer to finishing the draft of the novel, as I know more and more about my characters, as I have fewer and fewer doubts about what will happen next or how the characters would respond, I find myself slowing down. I don't think it's any kind of a block or fear of failure or any other psychoanalytical bs. I think as I near the end, it feels like a good-bye. And I've been living with these characters for two years now, longer if you count the time the idea was in my head but not yet on paper. So it's hard for me to let go, even though this is just a draft and after it's finished, the real work will begin. So even though I'm months away from truly being done, it still feels like the beginning of the end, which is why I'm slowing down. I guess. Still, no matter how much I drag my feet, I should be done with the draft by the end of September. (Knock on wood. Hope I didn't just jinx myself there.) In fact, if I were writing at the rate I was earlier in the summer, I would already be finished.
I've been thinking about productivity in terms of writing, probably because I read several writing-related blogs and some of those are written by successful, published novelists. And I think that publishing one book a year, while probably optimum for sales, is not so good for the writing. I think it is very difficult to write a serious book in a year and damn-near impossible to do it year after year. Some stories are gifts. William Faulkner reportedly wrote As I Lay Dying in six weeks, but that kind of thing happens once (twice, if you're lucky) in a lifetime. I think your brain needs time to recover after writing a book. And if you push yourself to produce another one too soon, you're bound to produce some derivative stuff. I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule and some people can effortlessly produce masterpieces in six months but I think those writers are rare.
And when I say "serious" I don't necessarily mean "literary." I read all kinds of fiction--genre, literary, whatever. If it's got a good story, I'll read it. When I say serious, I mean a writer's best effort, not which section the novel will find itself placed in a book store.
Thursday
Stolen
Yesterday, our Kerry-Edwards sign was stolen from our front yard. Curiously, they left the Martin Frost sign. Today I found out at least one other neighbor's sign went missing the same day. Luckily, we had an extra. It's already up but now we have to make a stockpile. I'm sure as the election gets closer, the signs will disappear again. It's so nice to respect a diversity of opinion, don't you think?
Yesterday, our Kerry-Edwards sign was stolen from our front yard. Curiously, they left the Martin Frost sign. Today I found out at least one other neighbor's sign went missing the same day. Luckily, we had an extra. It's already up but now we have to make a stockpile. I'm sure as the election gets closer, the signs will disappear again. It's so nice to respect a diversity of opinion, don't you think?
Wednesday
My Old School
St. Ann's has a web site. Pretty exciting stuff. This is where I spent some of my formative years, had my first boyfriend, first kiss, etc. The school has even found its fictional way into my novel. There's a scene in the book that takes place at the annual family fair and although the scene is fictional, the setting is not.
Also, I get a lot of emails from Dutchovers around the country. So, do any of you Dutchovers know when the annual Dutchover family reunion is? I'm trying to find out. And if any of you have historical/geneaological information you'd like to put online, I'd be happy to post some of the info on my site.
St. Ann's has a web site. Pretty exciting stuff. This is where I spent some of my formative years, had my first boyfriend, first kiss, etc. The school has even found its fictional way into my novel. There's a scene in the book that takes place at the annual family fair and although the scene is fictional, the setting is not.
Also, I get a lot of emails from Dutchovers around the country. So, do any of you Dutchovers know when the annual Dutchover family reunion is? I'm trying to find out. And if any of you have historical/geneaological information you'd like to put online, I'd be happy to post some of the info on my site.
Tuesday
Another View of the Republican Convention
From the perspective of a bartender in a NYC strip club. My favorite quote: "The man later told someone in the club he was a Washington lobbyist. I wondered if he would try to add a clause allowing 'two girls at once' into the Republican Party's plan for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage."
From the perspective of a bartender in a NYC strip club. My favorite quote: "The man later told someone in the club he was a Washington lobbyist. I wondered if he would try to add a clause allowing 'two girls at once' into the Republican Party's plan for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage."
Home Again
I've been home for a while actually. I got back to Texas last Sunday night. It's taken me a few days to get back into my routine at home and sort of absorb the whole writing conference experience. Vermont was very intense. There seemed to be readings, lectures, classes, workshops, or some writing-related thing every hour. For someone who is used to spending the majority of her day in a room by herself, it was overwhelming. I met a lot of great people, and heard a lot of incredible writers. And I had the great fortune of being in the workshop led by this woman, one of my heroes. She said some very complimentary things about my novel and writing and those words are going to carry me through the end of the draft.
I think this writers' conference, like MFA programs in general and almost any writing endeavor, is not for everyone. I got a lot out of the conference, personally. I was in a workshop led by a writer I admire, I got introduced to a lot of great writing I might not have heard otherwise, and I was in craft classes taught by writers who have many more years of experience than I do and have given a lot of thought to the topics they chose. However, there is still a hierarchy present. I've heard it's much better than past years and that the current administration has tried to downplay it. The hierarchy wasn't overwhelming but it was there. And I'm not sure that it could ever disappear. After all, you have people there who have published many books to critical and financial acclaim. And other people who have published ... nothing. Writing is celebrated there, writing for writing's sake, but in the end, what do you have to go on but someone's track record? That's what creates most of the hierarchy, in my opinion, and how can that be gotten rid of? So that aspect of the conference didn't bother me too much.
The constant socializing sort of did. I'm just not used to talking to so many people all the time. Every aspect of the day had a social element. I had a (wonderful) roommate, a communal bath, and every meal was shared with many other individuals. It was exhausting to make so much small talk all the time and conversations with strangers are more taxing than those with old friends. However, I did have some great conversations with many writers at different stages in their careers. Some were in MFA programs, some were considering them, others were writing on their own. In the end, the work is what mattered.
One very valuable thing I learned at the conference: There's a lot of good, competent work. There isn't a lot of very good or great work. Of course, we all like to think that the writing we are making is of the very good or great variety, but most people tend to think more highly of their work than is warranted (I include myself in this group). So often, when editors are faced with a lot of competent work, they pick the manuscripts that speak to them in some way. So much of this business--from the writing to the representing to the publishing to the selling (and then from the reader's end) to the buying--is based on personal taste. Nothing more. That was an interesting lesson to learn.
So now I'm back in Texas, looking for a job, trying to finish my book. One other thing that's good about the conferences is that I met editors and agents, and each person I met with was interested in my work and said the same thing: Send it to me when you're done. Don't rush it, make sure you're done. So I have some contacts and some nice words from a writer I admire and now it's time to keep making piles of pages.
Writing Update
I am at a good stopping point with the novel (perhaps break is a better term). So I feel less superstitious telling you about my progress. Since we got to Dallas at the beginning of July and settled in, I've been writing almost every day. I've written 176 pages since we've been here. The novel is currently divided into four sections or "acts" and now I have a draft of the first three. I'm going to Vermont tomorrow and after the conference, I'm hoping to finish a draft of the final section. That's what my summer's been like: a lot of writing, not much reading, very little web surfing. After the conference, my job search will kick into a higher gear. I'm hoping I'll be able to get the final section of the novel done before I start working. Then the revision will begin.
Nate and I were both a little worried that we might not be able to handle the Texas heat after Chicago. But the summer weather has been temperate, until recently. Even the heat isn't so bad. But the mosquitos are horrible. I had forgotten all about them! Hopefully the skeeters won't be too bad in VT.
Saturday
Personal Lexicon
"You're an Onarga."
"You're an Onarga Oneida."
"At least I'm not a Pupusa head."
On our relocation drive down to Dallas from Chicago, Nate and I noticed unusual names. Onarga, Oneida, and Pupusa were all cities, exits, or restaurants we saw along the way through Illinois, Kentucky, Arkansas, or Texas. Those words are now part of our permanent vocabulary, especially when we're calling each other names.
We also have a couple of stories we picked up on our travels. Back in November 2001, Nate took a flight to Austin to help me drive a U-haul for my move to Chicago (he had moved to Illinois six months before I did). Near Rolla, Missouri, we had a fuel stop. We both went into the station/store to get drinks and pay for the gas. There was a fairly long line, and the woman at the front was exasperated with her husband, who was still picking something out.
"Hurry up," she said. "There are all these people waiting on you."
"Woman, I'm checking the damn expiration dates on the Dr. Pepper."
Needless to say, we started giggling. We were a little giddy. We had been driving for hours, the guy made his pronoucement in a great Southern drawl, and we didn't even know Dr. Pepper had expiration dates. The rest of the trip, whenever I made a request, Nate would turn to me and say, "Woman," in that same tone of self-righteous exasperation. He still says it from time to time.
On our recent return drive to Texas, we were just outside of Little Rock, Arkansas, when we stopped at a McDonald's. We were hoping to order breakfast. They stopped serving breakfast at 10. It was 10:02. We stared at the menu, trying to pick the most innocuous food, neither of us wanting anything fried so early in the morning. There was a crew of giggly teenagers working behind the counter. We walked up to one of them.
"I'd like to order--" I started.
"My ankle just popped," the guy behind the counter interrupted.
Nate and I looked at each other. I didn't know how to respond.
"Are you OK?" Nate asked.
"Yeah. I'm OK. My ankle just popped."
We ordered our food and went on our merry way.
Are these incidents and words actually funny? Or is it just the circumstances we found them in--tired, bored, and suffering cabin fever after a cross-country drive? I'm not sure. But what that teenager didn't know was that "my ankle just popped" entered our lexicon forever.
"You're an Onarga."
"You're an Onarga Oneida."
"At least I'm not a Pupusa head."
On our relocation drive down to Dallas from Chicago, Nate and I noticed unusual names. Onarga, Oneida, and Pupusa were all cities, exits, or restaurants we saw along the way through Illinois, Kentucky, Arkansas, or Texas. Those words are now part of our permanent vocabulary, especially when we're calling each other names.
We also have a couple of stories we picked up on our travels. Back in November 2001, Nate took a flight to Austin to help me drive a U-haul for my move to Chicago (he had moved to Illinois six months before I did). Near Rolla, Missouri, we had a fuel stop. We both went into the station/store to get drinks and pay for the gas. There was a fairly long line, and the woman at the front was exasperated with her husband, who was still picking something out.
"Hurry up," she said. "There are all these people waiting on you."
"Woman, I'm checking the damn expiration dates on the Dr. Pepper."
Needless to say, we started giggling. We were a little giddy. We had been driving for hours, the guy made his pronoucement in a great Southern drawl, and we didn't even know Dr. Pepper had expiration dates. The rest of the trip, whenever I made a request, Nate would turn to me and say, "Woman," in that same tone of self-righteous exasperation. He still says it from time to time.
On our recent return drive to Texas, we were just outside of Little Rock, Arkansas, when we stopped at a McDonald's. We were hoping to order breakfast. They stopped serving breakfast at 10. It was 10:02. We stared at the menu, trying to pick the most innocuous food, neither of us wanting anything fried so early in the morning. There was a crew of giggly teenagers working behind the counter. We walked up to one of them.
"I'd like to order--" I started.
"My ankle just popped," the guy behind the counter interrupted.
Nate and I looked at each other. I didn't know how to respond.
"Are you OK?" Nate asked.
"Yeah. I'm OK. My ankle just popped."
We ordered our food and went on our merry way.
Are these incidents and words actually funny? Or is it just the circumstances we found them in--tired, bored, and suffering cabin fever after a cross-country drive? I'm not sure. But what that teenager didn't know was that "my ankle just popped" entered our lexicon forever.
Thursday
Another Update
I'm not sure how much I'll update this summer. (I know that's a shocker; I barely update as it is.) I have a decent reason, however. I don't have an Internet connection on my laptop. Nate is using the router for his work and home computers. We could rig it up so that I could have a connection, but I don't really want it. I'm getting a lot done this summer and I know it's because I don't have the siren song of the Internet calling out to me. I can waste hours on that damn thing, still, after years of working online.
So what am I doing? I don't want to go into too much detail because the last time I kept track of my writing progress on the site, I didn't write for two or three months. Life got very crazy, it's true, but I'm a superstitious person by nature. I'm getting a lot done, let's just leave it at that. Much more than I had dared to hope.
In other news, I applied for two jobs today. Jobs I'm actually interested in. I also got turned down for unemployment. Some states offer unemployment benefits if you leave your job because of your spouse's relocation, but not all of them. So far, it doesn't appear that Illinois is one of those states. The denial letter said something along the lines of the employer not having any control over my spouse's relocation. Well, duh. Neither did I, which is why I had to quit. I suppose I could have exerted my wifely will over my husband's decision, but the job seemed like a good deal, so here we are. I'm appealing the decision, but if I don't get any benefits, well, I don't get them. I'm still having a good summer.
I suppose I can afford to be a little blasé about not having any money or a job because luckily, my husband has both. And we have the good fortune of living in a great house for a few months rent free (all we have to pay are utilities), courtesy of Nate's very generous Aunt Jay. So I'm still in the applying-for-jobs-I-would-like-to-have phase. We are not yet in the must-eat-must-have-paycheck round of job searching.
Speaking of the house, you should check out Nate's site. He has a pretty nifty gallery of our new digs.
I'm not sure how much I'll update this summer. (I know that's a shocker; I barely update as it is.) I have a decent reason, however. I don't have an Internet connection on my laptop. Nate is using the router for his work and home computers. We could rig it up so that I could have a connection, but I don't really want it. I'm getting a lot done this summer and I know it's because I don't have the siren song of the Internet calling out to me. I can waste hours on that damn thing, still, after years of working online.
So what am I doing? I don't want to go into too much detail because the last time I kept track of my writing progress on the site, I didn't write for two or three months. Life got very crazy, it's true, but I'm a superstitious person by nature. I'm getting a lot done, let's just leave it at that. Much more than I had dared to hope.
In other news, I applied for two jobs today. Jobs I'm actually interested in. I also got turned down for unemployment. Some states offer unemployment benefits if you leave your job because of your spouse's relocation, but not all of them. So far, it doesn't appear that Illinois is one of those states. The denial letter said something along the lines of the employer not having any control over my spouse's relocation. Well, duh. Neither did I, which is why I had to quit. I suppose I could have exerted my wifely will over my husband's decision, but the job seemed like a good deal, so here we are. I'm appealing the decision, but if I don't get any benefits, well, I don't get them. I'm still having a good summer.
I suppose I can afford to be a little blasé about not having any money or a job because luckily, my husband has both. And we have the good fortune of living in a great house for a few months rent free (all we have to pay are utilities), courtesy of Nate's very generous Aunt Jay. So I'm still in the applying-for-jobs-I-would-like-to-have phase. We are not yet in the must-eat-must-have-paycheck round of job searching.
Speaking of the house, you should check out Nate's site. He has a pretty nifty gallery of our new digs.
Monday
Big D
We have been in Dallas for two weeks. So far, so good. We are staying in Nate's aunt's house for three months while we scope out the city and figure out where we want to live. The house is big and comfortable. Plenty of room for all of us. My office is in the front bedroom and Nate has the middle room for his office/cave. Nate's working from home now so that's a big adjusment.
Dallas is an easy city to live in. Not too crowded, not too much traffic except during rush hours. It is also a big adjustment. Our neighborhood is very quiet. Our neighbor across the street has something like five cars in his driveway and in front of his house. I've seen one car move regularly. Our lives are so quiet now that when I saw two cars gone, I had to tell Nate. The mail man is a major event. In Nate's office, he watches two lizards run across his windows.
But things are going very well. Just a slower pace. We're both getting a lot of work done and seeing our families more, which was one of the main reasons to move back to Texas. We've been eating a lot of Mexican food and Bar-B-Que, two other reasons to come back. Also, can you say queso? I love that stuff. All we could get in Chicago was queso fundido, which is good but not quite the same. Ahhh, queso. And margaritas. I'm glad to be back.
P.S. Those tenants did work out. No worries, except for that whole not having a job thing. Not too worried about it though. Not yet.
Cross Your Fingers
We may have found two people to sublet our apartment. We're waiting to hear if they passed the credit check. If everything works out, that will be our last major worry. Except for the fact that I will be unemployed and broke. My last day of work is Friday. Strangely, I'm feeling very relaxed about it all. I haven't had a summer break in quite awhile.
Thursday
Storm Before the Calm
The good thing about all of this moving anxiety stuff is that I know it will be over soon. I am having anxiety dreams and not sleeping well. Last night I dream about zombies. But the truth is, we are very lucky. One of us has a job, we have a place to stay in Dallas, and I will get to take some time off and try to finish my novel before I go back to work. Also, I’m going to Vermont in August, which is a great time to get out of the Texas heat. Life is good, if stressful for the moment.
The good thing about all of this moving anxiety stuff is that I know it will be over soon. I am having anxiety dreams and not sleeping well. Last night I dream about zombies. But the truth is, we are very lucky. One of us has a job, we have a place to stay in Dallas, and I will get to take some time off and try to finish my novel before I go back to work. Also, I’m going to Vermont in August, which is a great time to get out of the Texas heat. Life is good, if stressful for the moment.
Wednesday
Bad Moon Rising
There’s weird vibes lately. Bad juju. Mala honda. I said I wouldn’t bore you with all of the navel-gazing (and complaints), but I lied. You can skip the rest of the entry if you don’t want to read my whining.
First, next Friday is my last day at work. So there’s the stress of trying to finish all of my assignments and projects before I leave. Then there’s packing and all of the details that come with a cross-country move. It seems as though everything that could go wrong is.
Last week when we left for our Dallas trip, we saw street cleaning/no parking signs on the opposite side of the street. Nate wondered if he should move our car (parked on the side of the street without the signs) because he felt sure they would clean the side we were parked on the next day. I said the city was required to post signs at least 24 hours ahead of time, and there were no signs, so there shouldn’t be a problem. When we got back into town after the weekend, we had a ticket. Of course.
Another example: we are getting a cable modem installed in the house we are renting in Dallas. The house belongs to Nate’s aunt and is currently vacant. She already has cable in the house (but no internet service), so we tried to get a separate account. We were told that our account would be billed for the charge, not his aunt’s, and that there was a certain installation fee but no extra charges. Today we found out all the charges were billed to his aunt’s account and oh yeah, there was a $250 deposit they forgot to mention.
When we had originally spoken with our landlord about our relocation, we thought he would keep our deposit (a month and a half of rent) and we were fine with that. While we were in Dallas he told us we would be responsible for the remainder of the lease, which ends next May (we signed an 18-month lease). We’re trying to find tenants to sublet, so if you know of anyone who needs a great 2-1 with an office on the North Side, let me know. Otherwise, we’ll be paying rent on an empty apartment in Chicago.
Added to this, today I went to work and one of my work buddies was laid off. It’s sad and stressful. She’d been at that job for t he past four years and it was totally unexpected. She’s the one who told me about my job, she’s the one who recommended me. I am in serious need of a drink. Or ten.
There’s weird vibes lately. Bad juju. Mala honda. I said I wouldn’t bore you with all of the navel-gazing (and complaints), but I lied. You can skip the rest of the entry if you don’t want to read my whining.
First, next Friday is my last day at work. So there’s the stress of trying to finish all of my assignments and projects before I leave. Then there’s packing and all of the details that come with a cross-country move. It seems as though everything that could go wrong is.
Last week when we left for our Dallas trip, we saw street cleaning/no parking signs on the opposite side of the street. Nate wondered if he should move our car (parked on the side of the street without the signs) because he felt sure they would clean the side we were parked on the next day. I said the city was required to post signs at least 24 hours ahead of time, and there were no signs, so there shouldn’t be a problem. When we got back into town after the weekend, we had a ticket. Of course.
Another example: we are getting a cable modem installed in the house we are renting in Dallas. The house belongs to Nate’s aunt and is currently vacant. She already has cable in the house (but no internet service), so we tried to get a separate account. We were told that our account would be billed for the charge, not his aunt’s, and that there was a certain installation fee but no extra charges. Today we found out all the charges were billed to his aunt’s account and oh yeah, there was a $250 deposit they forgot to mention.
When we had originally spoken with our landlord about our relocation, we thought he would keep our deposit (a month and a half of rent) and we were fine with that. While we were in Dallas he told us we would be responsible for the remainder of the lease, which ends next May (we signed an 18-month lease). We’re trying to find tenants to sublet, so if you know of anyone who needs a great 2-1 with an office on the North Side, let me know. Otherwise, we’ll be paying rent on an empty apartment in Chicago.
Added to this, today I went to work and one of my work buddies was laid off. It’s sad and stressful. She’d been at that job for t he past four years and it was totally unexpected. She’s the one who told me about my job, she’s the one who recommended me. I am in serious need of a drink. Or ten.
Monday
Today I read this hilarious quote from an inteview with Dagoberto Gilb:
"DG: We were talking about mentoring. I am like the Zen master who is living in a cave, on a very steep sharp cliff and the students crawl up—rock climbing skill was necessary—from crevice to crevice, and then get there: 'Ah master.' They have come for satori. And I am like 'Get the fuck out of here.'"
The rest is here.
We got back from Dallas yesterday. I don't want to torture you too much with my navel gazing. I have a terminal case of it at the moment. I'm in a what-am-I-doing-with-my-life-ing kind of place, which is just too boring to write about.
"DG: We were talking about mentoring. I am like the Zen master who is living in a cave, on a very steep sharp cliff and the students crawl up—rock climbing skill was necessary—from crevice to crevice, and then get there: 'Ah master.' They have come for satori. And I am like 'Get the fuck out of here.'"
The rest is here.
We got back from Dallas yesterday. I don't want to torture you too much with my navel gazing. I have a terminal case of it at the moment. I'm in a what-am-I-doing-with-my-life-ing kind of place, which is just too boring to write about.
Wednesday
And the Changes Keep on Keeping On
So I graduated. The ceremony was held in the Chicago Lyric Opera and the setting was beautiful. And, as befitting an art school, I saw exactly one graduate in a cap and gown. Everyone else was in a nice outfit, a costume, or something very casual (like jeans, t-shirt, and flip-flops). When I say costumes, one guy was dressed as either a chicken or a turkey (I couldn't tell), non-basted, and he had to take his diploma in his mouth. One of the faculty members sitting onstage wore a black and hot pink Mardis Gras mask. There were others, including one guy dressed in a red soldier-type jacket with epaulets and a hat.
My parents, sister, and nephew were all here and we had fun showing them around Chicago and introducing them to deep-dish pizza and Chicago-style hot dogs. Later this afternoon, Nate's mother and her husband will arrive. The great thing about Chicago is that we can take them to entirely different places. My family went to: the Lincoln Park Zoo, Chinatown, the Field Museum, Wrigley Field, the Chicago Lyric Oprera, a couple of other places. It'll be interesting to see where we go with Nate's family.
And ... did I mention we're moving to Dallas?
I don't think I've actually said that here. At first, it was an option we were considering. Then a decision we needed to make. We've made it. We should be there by July 1. We're still working out many of the details. I must admit, it's never been my dream to live in Dallas, and I've been very worried that we would live in a boring house in a generic subdivision. But I've been doing some research on this neighborhood and getting excited by stories like this and this.
Not to say we'll live there. Who knows where we might end up? But it's nice to know there are some non-generic options. Luckily, we get to live in a currently vacant house for three months while we ponder our next move. We are staying at Nate's aunt's house until we figure some of these things out, which we greatly appreciate.
So, all I can say in the midst of all this change is: Onward.
So I graduated. The ceremony was held in the Chicago Lyric Opera and the setting was beautiful. And, as befitting an art school, I saw exactly one graduate in a cap and gown. Everyone else was in a nice outfit, a costume, or something very casual (like jeans, t-shirt, and flip-flops). When I say costumes, one guy was dressed as either a chicken or a turkey (I couldn't tell), non-basted, and he had to take his diploma in his mouth. One of the faculty members sitting onstage wore a black and hot pink Mardis Gras mask. There were others, including one guy dressed in a red soldier-type jacket with epaulets and a hat.
My parents, sister, and nephew were all here and we had fun showing them around Chicago and introducing them to deep-dish pizza and Chicago-style hot dogs. Later this afternoon, Nate's mother and her husband will arrive. The great thing about Chicago is that we can take them to entirely different places. My family went to: the Lincoln Park Zoo, Chinatown, the Field Museum, Wrigley Field, the Chicago Lyric Oprera, a couple of other places. It'll be interesting to see where we go with Nate's family.
And ... did I mention we're moving to Dallas?
I don't think I've actually said that here. At first, it was an option we were considering. Then a decision we needed to make. We've made it. We should be there by July 1. We're still working out many of the details. I must admit, it's never been my dream to live in Dallas, and I've been very worried that we would live in a boring house in a generic subdivision. But I've been doing some research on this neighborhood and getting excited by stories like this and this.
Not to say we'll live there. Who knows where we might end up? But it's nice to know there are some non-generic options. Luckily, we get to live in a currently vacant house for three months while we ponder our next move. We are staying at Nate's aunt's house until we figure some of these things out, which we greatly appreciate.
So, all I can say in the midst of all this change is: Onward.
Changes
On Friday, I have my final class and final meeting with my advisor. Not only the last class of the semester, but the last class of my MFA career. I can't reflect on it yet, because not only is it not quite over, my mind needs a little time to adjust.
As an undergrad, I took my most demanding semester last--kinda silly, now that I think about it, but it's the way things worked out. I took 15 hours of classes, all of which involved heavy writing and editing. One class alone took an average of 20 hours per week, if that gives you a sense of how busy I was. Also, I had two part-time jobs. I got through the semester unscathed, actually had a blast, although I was really tired. And then, there were all my final projects. I did them all, except for the last one. I had to write a long paper on 14th and 15th century Spanish plays and novels. All the reading and writing assignments were in Spanish (I had a double major: English and Spanish literature). I really enjoyed the class, but I was just so tired I couldn't write the paper. Mentally tired. I kept telling myself, "This is the last one. Just this ... last one." But I couldn't do it. I had to ask for an extension and as a result of that, got a B in the class, even though I'd had an A all semester.
I'm not quite as tired now. I have only one job (full time, but at least it's only one) and I've finished all my major assignments already. But there is so much change and potential change in the air that I just can't think about things too much. My mind can't really deal with it yet. So I'm reading a lot and watching really bad TV. (Example: last night I watched American Idol and then the reunion show of America's Next Top Model. But then we watched 21 Grams, so maybe I redeemed myself a little bit.)
I think I need a little mental vacation before I start tackling the novel full force in June. Next week, my family will be here for my graduation. The week after that, Nate's mother is coming for a visit. So we will have almost two weeks of family which, though I'm sure will be fun, will not be good for the writing. But maybe I need the time off anyway to adjust mentally to some things that are just starting to show themselves over the horizon.
One of those looming things is that I got accepted here. Another involves a possible relocation. I will divulge more as information becomes available. The wind is about to change.
On Friday, I have my final class and final meeting with my advisor. Not only the last class of the semester, but the last class of my MFA career. I can't reflect on it yet, because not only is it not quite over, my mind needs a little time to adjust.
As an undergrad, I took my most demanding semester last--kinda silly, now that I think about it, but it's the way things worked out. I took 15 hours of classes, all of which involved heavy writing and editing. One class alone took an average of 20 hours per week, if that gives you a sense of how busy I was. Also, I had two part-time jobs. I got through the semester unscathed, actually had a blast, although I was really tired. And then, there were all my final projects. I did them all, except for the last one. I had to write a long paper on 14th and 15th century Spanish plays and novels. All the reading and writing assignments were in Spanish (I had a double major: English and Spanish literature). I really enjoyed the class, but I was just so tired I couldn't write the paper. Mentally tired. I kept telling myself, "This is the last one. Just this ... last one." But I couldn't do it. I had to ask for an extension and as a result of that, got a B in the class, even though I'd had an A all semester.
I'm not quite as tired now. I have only one job (full time, but at least it's only one) and I've finished all my major assignments already. But there is so much change and potential change in the air that I just can't think about things too much. My mind can't really deal with it yet. So I'm reading a lot and watching really bad TV. (Example: last night I watched American Idol and then the reunion show of America's Next Top Model. But then we watched 21 Grams, so maybe I redeemed myself a little bit.)
I think I need a little mental vacation before I start tackling the novel full force in June. Next week, my family will be here for my graduation. The week after that, Nate's mother is coming for a visit. So we will have almost two weeks of family which, though I'm sure will be fun, will not be good for the writing. But maybe I need the time off anyway to adjust mentally to some things that are just starting to show themselves over the horizon.
One of those looming things is that I got accepted here. Another involves a possible relocation. I will divulge more as information becomes available. The wind is about to change.
Thursday
An Op-ed Piece
A few excerpts from "A War for Us, Fought by Them"
By WILLIAM BROYLES Jr.
"There are no immediate family members of any of the prime civilian planners of this war serving in it — beginning with President Bush and extending deep into the Defense Department. Only one of the 535 members of Congress, Senator Tim Johnson of South Dakota, has a child in the war — and only half a dozen others have sons and daughters in the military.
It was not always so. In other wars, the men and women in charge made sure their family members led the way. Since 9/11, the war on terrorism has often been compared to the generational challenge of Pearl Harbor; but Franklin D. Roosevelt's sons all enlisted soon after that attack. Both of Lyndon B. Johnson's sons-in-law served in Vietnam.
If this war is truly worth fighting, then the burdens of doing so should fall on all Americans. If you support this war, but assume that Pat Tillman and Other People's Children should fight it, then you are worse than a hypocrite. If it's not worth your family fighting it, then it's not worth it, period. The draft is the truest test of public support for the administration's handling of the war, which is perhaps why the administration is so dead set against bringing it back."
A few excerpts from "A War for Us, Fought by Them"
By WILLIAM BROYLES Jr.
"There are no immediate family members of any of the prime civilian planners of this war serving in it — beginning with President Bush and extending deep into the Defense Department. Only one of the 535 members of Congress, Senator Tim Johnson of South Dakota, has a child in the war — and only half a dozen others have sons and daughters in the military.
It was not always so. In other wars, the men and women in charge made sure their family members led the way. Since 9/11, the war on terrorism has often been compared to the generational challenge of Pearl Harbor; but Franklin D. Roosevelt's sons all enlisted soon after that attack. Both of Lyndon B. Johnson's sons-in-law served in Vietnam.
If this war is truly worth fighting, then the burdens of doing so should fall on all Americans. If you support this war, but assume that Pat Tillman and Other People's Children should fight it, then you are worse than a hypocrite. If it's not worth your family fighting it, then it's not worth it, period. The draft is the truest test of public support for the administration's handling of the war, which is perhaps why the administration is so dead set against bringing it back."
Saturday
Be Careful What You Wish For
Nate and I have a big decision to make. We're waffling a little bit. Perhaps waffling isn't the right word, but going back and forth between two nice options. Either would be good for us, I think. It's more a question of priorities. What is important to us? What do we want in our lives? You know, all those little kinds of decisions. We're taking the weekend to think about it. Monday, too, since he's in Illinois and I'm in New Mexico and I'm flying into Chicago late on Sunday.
I'm not trying to be coy, but it's a pretty big decision and we need to make it before I start talking about the details.
Nate and I have a big decision to make. We're waffling a little bit. Perhaps waffling isn't the right word, but going back and forth between two nice options. Either would be good for us, I think. It's more a question of priorities. What is important to us? What do we want in our lives? You know, all those little kinds of decisions. We're taking the weekend to think about it. Monday, too, since he's in Illinois and I'm in New Mexico and I'm flying into Chicago late on Sunday.
I'm not trying to be coy, but it's a pretty big decision and we need to make it before I start talking about the details.
Thursday
Reflective Mood
Where to start? That's the problem with updating so infrequently. When you do update, there's so much to tell you don't know where to begin. I finished editing my thesis and turned it in on time. I finished the grant (just barely, at 5 p.m. just before the UPS guy arrived to pick up the package for overnight delivery). Right now, I'm in Albuquerque for a community radio conference.
I am not a radio person and have never worked in community radio, but because my employer has a lot of varied programs, I've written grants for performing arts, visual arts, arts and culture, youth, arts education, radio, and a bunch of other things I would never have imagined myself doing. I think this is a great experience for me because, as a first grant writing job, it's giving me a little taste of everything and will help me figure out what direction I might want to go in the future.
I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. I suppose it has a lot to do with finishing school and accomplishing one of the goals I had on my life to-do list. So maybe I'm thinking about what comes next and what I want to work towards. (I am always working towards something.) One is definitely finishing my novel. So that's a no-brainer. But beyond that, I'm thinking. I'm thinking about a lot of things.
While I have come to appreciate, enjoy, and even like Chicago a great deal (after hating it like poison when I first arrived), it still isn't ... it isn't quite right for me. Visiting Albuquerque for just a few days has shown me that there are certain things that are currently missing in my life.
My co-workers, as soon as we got off the plane, said "It's so quiet here." It unnerved them, I think. They've also said they could never life here. My reaction was, "thank God it's so quiet here." People are friendly. They have time to talk to you. I've already had about three substantial conversations with strangers today (lasting ten minutes or more) and a man dressed as Santa waved to me from his car when he saw me smiling at him. Of course, I waved back.
These are the small things I've missed. Friendly faces, sun, blue skies, being able to see for miles around you because the density and height of buildings doesn't block your view. I miss nature.
Unfortunately, both Nate and I have pretty good jobs and incomes where we currently live. And we've actually grown to appreciate the city. I love the multitude of restaurants, all the ethnic diversity, the plays, the museums, the lake, the outdoor concerts, and many of the great people I've met in the Chi. But there are some things that are missing ... how important are those things?
I'm not sure yet. But they're starting to feel more important.
Where to start? That's the problem with updating so infrequently. When you do update, there's so much to tell you don't know where to begin. I finished editing my thesis and turned it in on time. I finished the grant (just barely, at 5 p.m. just before the UPS guy arrived to pick up the package for overnight delivery). Right now, I'm in Albuquerque for a community radio conference.
I am not a radio person and have never worked in community radio, but because my employer has a lot of varied programs, I've written grants for performing arts, visual arts, arts and culture, youth, arts education, radio, and a bunch of other things I would never have imagined myself doing. I think this is a great experience for me because, as a first grant writing job, it's giving me a little taste of everything and will help me figure out what direction I might want to go in the future.
I've been thinking a lot about the future lately. I suppose it has a lot to do with finishing school and accomplishing one of the goals I had on my life to-do list. So maybe I'm thinking about what comes next and what I want to work towards. (I am always working towards something.) One is definitely finishing my novel. So that's a no-brainer. But beyond that, I'm thinking. I'm thinking about a lot of things.
While I have come to appreciate, enjoy, and even like Chicago a great deal (after hating it like poison when I first arrived), it still isn't ... it isn't quite right for me. Visiting Albuquerque for just a few days has shown me that there are certain things that are currently missing in my life.
My co-workers, as soon as we got off the plane, said "It's so quiet here." It unnerved them, I think. They've also said they could never life here. My reaction was, "thank God it's so quiet here." People are friendly. They have time to talk to you. I've already had about three substantial conversations with strangers today (lasting ten minutes or more) and a man dressed as Santa waved to me from his car when he saw me smiling at him. Of course, I waved back.
These are the small things I've missed. Friendly faces, sun, blue skies, being able to see for miles around you because the density and height of buildings doesn't block your view. I miss nature.
Unfortunately, both Nate and I have pretty good jobs and incomes where we currently live. And we've actually grown to appreciate the city. I love the multitude of restaurants, all the ethnic diversity, the plays, the museums, the lake, the outdoor concerts, and many of the great people I've met in the Chi. But there are some things that are missing ... how important are those things?
I'm not sure yet. But they're starting to feel more important.
Monday
Playing Hooky
I took today off to work on my thesis. It's due Friday. But before I settle down to work, I'd like to mention this essay by Mark Haddon. It has some really nice parts. A few quotes for your reading pleasure:
"I don't remember deciding to become a writer. You decide to become a dentist or a postman. For me, writing is like being gay. You finally admit that this is who you are, you come out and hope that no one runs away."
"It's not about you. No one wants to know how clever you are. Like children, adults need to be entertained. Even those reading to make themselves better people would prefer to enjoy the process. They don't want an insight into your mind, thrilling as it might be. They want an insight into their own.
Reading is a conversation. All books talk. But a good book listens as well."
I took today off to work on my thesis. It's due Friday. But before I settle down to work, I'd like to mention this essay by Mark Haddon. It has some really nice parts. A few quotes for your reading pleasure:
"I don't remember deciding to become a writer. You decide to become a dentist or a postman. For me, writing is like being gay. You finally admit that this is who you are, you come out and hope that no one runs away."
"It's not about you. No one wants to know how clever you are. Like children, adults need to be entertained. Even those reading to make themselves better people would prefer to enjoy the process. They don't want an insight into your mind, thrilling as it might be. They want an insight into their own.
Reading is a conversation. All books talk. But a good book listens as well."
Wednesday
Busier Than a Bucket of Bees
Well, folks. I might take a little break from this here blog. (Not like I'm updating much anyhow.) You see, over the next two weeks I have all kinds of crazy deadlines both at work and for school. I'm graduating from my MFA writing program in May (huzzah!) but my thesis is due, oh, next Friday. I have a $100,000 grant deadline on, oh, next Thursday. And those are two out of five big to-dos on my list for the next two weeks. Then I go out of town for work from April 20-25. Fun, fun, fun.
But here's the good news. After April 25, I will be almost done. Classes end on May 14 and I graduate on May 22. And then, my good friends, I will be free. So bear with me, be a little patient, and I'll be updating regularly in the near future.
In the meantime, check out what my husband is up to. He updates more regularly than I do, too.
Well, folks. I might take a little break from this here blog. (Not like I'm updating much anyhow.) You see, over the next two weeks I have all kinds of crazy deadlines both at work and for school. I'm graduating from my MFA writing program in May (huzzah!) but my thesis is due, oh, next Friday. I have a $100,000 grant deadline on, oh, next Thursday. And those are two out of five big to-dos on my list for the next two weeks. Then I go out of town for work from April 20-25. Fun, fun, fun.
But here's the good news. After April 25, I will be almost done. Classes end on May 14 and I graduate on May 22. And then, my good friends, I will be free. So bear with me, be a little patient, and I'll be updating regularly in the near future.
In the meantime, check out what my husband is up to. He updates more regularly than I do, too.
Sunday
Back in the Saddle
I had to take some time to work on my thesis so I haven't done much new writing. But I did write today. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.
1. 1,093
2. 16,239
I'm waaay off track, but I'm doing the best I can as I try to juggle school, working full time, and requirements for graduation. Only 8 more weeks of class and then I will be a free woman with an MFA (Well, free from classes. Then the student loans will descend.).
My advisors are reading my thesis, giving me feedback in the next couple of weeks, and I turn it in on April 16. But in the meantime, I think I can get some writing done. I hope so, anyway. I'm feeling a little shaky, a little out of practice, but I have a lot of good ideas, so hopefully it will all work out.
Today the sun was shining and it was snowing. Too warm for the snow to stick, though. The perfect example of what spring in Chicago can be like. Snow, sun, warmth, grayness, all during the same day.
On Saturday, I'm reading with some other SAIC folks at the AWP Conference at the Palmer Hilton. It's in the afternoon, if you plan on being in downtown Chicago.
I had to take some time to work on my thesis so I haven't done much new writing. But I did write today. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things.
1. 1,093
2. 16,239
I'm waaay off track, but I'm doing the best I can as I try to juggle school, working full time, and requirements for graduation. Only 8 more weeks of class and then I will be a free woman with an MFA (Well, free from classes. Then the student loans will descend.).
My advisors are reading my thesis, giving me feedback in the next couple of weeks, and I turn it in on April 16. But in the meantime, I think I can get some writing done. I hope so, anyway. I'm feeling a little shaky, a little out of practice, but I have a lot of good ideas, so hopefully it will all work out.
Today the sun was shining and it was snowing. Too warm for the snow to stick, though. The perfect example of what spring in Chicago can be like. Snow, sun, warmth, grayness, all during the same day.
On Saturday, I'm reading with some other SAIC folks at the AWP Conference at the Palmer Hilton. It's in the afternoon, if you plan on being in downtown Chicago.
Tuesday
Tuesday's Word Count
1. 4,445
2. Total word count: 15,146
I should be at 16,000 today, but you know, what can I say? I am where I am. I'm currently in the middle section of the novel, working on a character I need to get to know better. It should be fun ... but I'll be refining these pages a bit over the next couple of days, so I may not catch up on the word count. That's ok. I'm getting some good work in and it's the kind of writing that has to be done for me to move the book along.
1. 4,445
2. Total word count: 15,146
I should be at 16,000 today, but you know, what can I say? I am where I am. I'm currently in the middle section of the novel, working on a character I need to get to know better. It should be fun ... but I'll be refining these pages a bit over the next couple of days, so I may not catch up on the word count. That's ok. I'm getting some good work in and it's the kind of writing that has to be done for me to move the book along.
Note: The post found below was actually written on Monday, but since I published it after midnight, it's showing up under the heading of Tuesday.
Word Count
Sorry about falling off the face of the earth. I had a pretty stressful work week, then I had a housewarming party on Saturday, then I had to recover from the party on Sunday. I did very little writing last week. I should be at 15,000 words today but I'm not. So I might add on an extra week or I might try to catch up by writing more words than my minimum. I'm not sure yet. We'll see how it goes. Here's the word count.
Today: 2,237
To date: 10,701
Wednesday
Mid-life Crisis
Nate and I have been discussing the purchase of a new car. This is not an immediate purchase, probably about six months to a year in the future.
(A bit of history: Nate had a car in Chicago and I had a car in Austin. Before I moved to Chicago, we decided we didn't need two vehicles and since I was about to go to grad school, I decided I didn't need a car payment. So I sold my car to my mother, who was in the market for one. My car was a small SUV, bought because I lived in Florida at the time and was considering buying a boat. I wanted a vehicle with a trailer hitch and the power to pull. I ended up moving back to Texas, used the trailer hitch for a Uhaul, and never bought a boat. Now my mom has my car and I use Nate's car when I drive, although I suppose it is half mine, technically. I think I live in a community property state.)
ANYWAY, the whole point of this is that Nate thinks I should be the first to buy a car, since I gave up one when I moved here. I'm in the very inital stages of research. I'm not buying any magazines or surfing auto sites, but am noticing cars on the road and trying to remember makes and models. I could go in one of three directions.
1. an electric or hybrid car like the Honda hybrids or the Toyota Prius.
2. A utility car, like the SUV I had before. When I think a few years ahead, we have a house on the outskirts of a town, which will require us buying supplies, hauling things, on dirt roads as likely as not. I would also like to adopt two more dogs once we have the room, so I will need a big back seat.
3. A completely frivolous sports car before I have a need for baby seats and mortgages and planning for the future.
Last night, I told Nate my strategy.
"You know how people buy really fast sports cars when they have their mid-life crisis? I think I should buy my mid-life crisis car now and get it out of my system. Then when I have my real mid-life crisis, I'll do something sensible."
"What kind of car?"
"I think I need a very fast, small-penis type of car."
"Do you have a small penis?"
"Technically, I have a very small penis, invisible really, so I think I need a really fast car. What about a Porsche? That would work!"
"Well, people tend to have their mid-life crisis cars at mid life because they can, you know, afford them."
"Goddamn that logic."
Back to my daydreaming.
Nate and I have been discussing the purchase of a new car. This is not an immediate purchase, probably about six months to a year in the future.
(A bit of history: Nate had a car in Chicago and I had a car in Austin. Before I moved to Chicago, we decided we didn't need two vehicles and since I was about to go to grad school, I decided I didn't need a car payment. So I sold my car to my mother, who was in the market for one. My car was a small SUV, bought because I lived in Florida at the time and was considering buying a boat. I wanted a vehicle with a trailer hitch and the power to pull. I ended up moving back to Texas, used the trailer hitch for a Uhaul, and never bought a boat. Now my mom has my car and I use Nate's car when I drive, although I suppose it is half mine, technically. I think I live in a community property state.)
ANYWAY, the whole point of this is that Nate thinks I should be the first to buy a car, since I gave up one when I moved here. I'm in the very inital stages of research. I'm not buying any magazines or surfing auto sites, but am noticing cars on the road and trying to remember makes and models. I could go in one of three directions.
1. an electric or hybrid car like the Honda hybrids or the Toyota Prius.
2. A utility car, like the SUV I had before. When I think a few years ahead, we have a house on the outskirts of a town, which will require us buying supplies, hauling things, on dirt roads as likely as not. I would also like to adopt two more dogs once we have the room, so I will need a big back seat.
3. A completely frivolous sports car before I have a need for baby seats and mortgages and planning for the future.
Last night, I told Nate my strategy.
"You know how people buy really fast sports cars when they have their mid-life crisis? I think I should buy my mid-life crisis car now and get it out of my system. Then when I have my real mid-life crisis, I'll do something sensible."
"What kind of car?"
"I think I need a very fast, small-penis type of car."
"Do you have a small penis?"
"Technically, I have a very small penis, invisible really, so I think I need a really fast car. What about a Porsche? That would work!"
"Well, people tend to have their mid-life crisis cars at mid life because they can, you know, afford them."
"Goddamn that logic."
Back to my daydreaming.
Tuesday
A Note on Proposals
Don't ask someone to marry you in a public place, unless you know she'll say yes.
Don't ask someone to marry you in a public place, unless you know she'll say yes.
Sunday
Weekend Word Count
I didn't write Thursday through Saturday. Today I wrote. So here goes.
1. 3,335
2. 6,499
That means I'm technically 501 words short for the first week, but I'm going to bed because it's the start of the work week and I don't want to be tired for the next five days.
Writing is a funny thing. I woke up this morning, inspired by a dream. The dream gave me insight into Eva's character and a situation she's in. But when I sat down to write, all this stuff came out about the grandather. And I just let it happen. Go on, grandpa. If you want to tell me a story, I'll listen.
Over the next couple of days, I'm hoping I can make up those 501 words. Let's hope. I don't have too much coming up, except for our party on Saturday.
I didn't write Thursday through Saturday. Today I wrote. So here goes.
1. 3,335
2. 6,499
That means I'm technically 501 words short for the first week, but I'm going to bed because it's the start of the work week and I don't want to be tired for the next five days.
Writing is a funny thing. I woke up this morning, inspired by a dream. The dream gave me insight into Eva's character and a situation she's in. But when I sat down to write, all this stuff came out about the grandather. And I just let it happen. Go on, grandpa. If you want to tell me a story, I'll listen.
Over the next couple of days, I'm hoping I can make up those 501 words. Let's hope. I don't have too much coming up, except for our party on Saturday.
Saturday
This Kills Me
I just got married six months ago, so perhaps I'm a little sentimental about this subject, but if people want to get married, then just give them a damn license. Congratulations to all the beautiful couples.
I just got married six months ago, so perhaps I'm a little sentimental about this subject, but if people want to get married, then just give them a damn license. Congratulations to all the beautiful couples.
Word Count
Thursday and Friday were a wash. So that would be:
1. 0
2. 3,164
for both days.
I have a lot of writing to catch up on over the weekend and I am tired. I work full time, take class on Friday, and work on Saturday to make up the hours I miss on Friday. So I really have only one day off, which is Sunday, and we spend that day cleaning the house, doing laundry, shopping for groceries, etc. The good news is that I'm done with school in May, so this isn't forever, but I'm dragging ass. I'm also not working out, which isn't helping, but I'm so busy and tired it's hard to add one more thing. I'm going to try anyhow because I know it will improve my energy level. Plus, my sleep schedule is all wacky because I stay up late some nights to get my writing or homework done and other days I get up early. My body clock is all jacked up.
But spring is on its way to Chicago and I know I'm acclimated to the Midwest because it's in the 40s and I think that's nice weather. I can't wait for the flowers to bloom and the birdies to come back. Spring and summer are a nice time in Chicago and I'm starting to really enjoy and appreciate the city.
Thursday
Wednesday's Word Count
Today: 1,121
Total: 3,164
This word count thing is interesting. It's sort of freeing me up to write about whatever comes to mind (things I might discount or leave out when I am Writing, you know, when I'm convinced I have to try real hard because I'm creating Literature instead of just a story) because I have a word count to meet. The writing seems a little rougher, since I'm writing and moving on instead of writing and revising, but maybe that's a good thing. Later, we'll see if all the tangents I'm including add dimension or if it's just crap that takes me off track. But so far, so good. I'm kind of liking this fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of writing.
Now I've got to do some homework.
Today: 1,121
Total: 3,164
This word count thing is interesting. It's sort of freeing me up to write about whatever comes to mind (things I might discount or leave out when I am Writing, you know, when I'm convinced I have to try real hard because I'm creating Literature instead of just a story) because I have a word count to meet. The writing seems a little rougher, since I'm writing and moving on instead of writing and revising, but maybe that's a good thing. Later, we'll see if all the tangents I'm including add dimension or if it's just crap that takes me off track. But so far, so good. I'm kind of liking this fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of writing.
Now I've got to do some homework.
Tuesday
New Blog
Today, I found Ana Castillo's blog. I also just found out she was at the same event I was at on Friday night. Apparently, I served her a couple of margaritas. Although I didn't know who she was, I noticed her because I thought she was a very striking woman. If I had known it was her I would have introduced myself.
Word Count
So I've started doing this thing one of my writing profs recommends. Which is: set a daily goal for yourself to write a certain number of words, set a time limit (say, four weeks), and then go. Yesterday was the first day for me. My goal, so everyone knows, is 1,000 words for four weeks, stretched to six if I have the stamina. So I'm going to start updating like this:
1. word count for the day
2. total word count
Yesterday I fell asleep at 7 p.m. I was just exhausted. I didn't meet my word count, but I did get some words made. Here goes:
1. 279
2. 279
Hopefully today there will be more.
Monday
The Worst of Both Worlds
There have been countless essays written on the matter of assimilation, acculturation, ethnicity, identity, etc. Writers such as Sandra Cisneros, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Ana Castillo, and countless others write about living with the hyphen. I debate things like, should I call myself a Mexican? Tejana? Latina? Chicana?
What no one talks about, however, is the kind of thing I witnessed on Friday night. I was at a Valentine's Day event and the DJ had been playing a wide mix of songs. Disco, '80s, salsa, merengue, norteño. I turned to my husband and said, "This is the kind of DJ I wanted for our wedding." And then the DJ put on the song.
If you are a fortunate soul, you have never had to listen to "My Achy-Breaky Heart." I lived in Texas for most of my life, so I heard it more than I care to admit. I know some of the lyrics solely due to osmosis. On Friday night, for the first time, I heard this song in Spanish. And then people started line dancing. Mexican people. That was when the worst of both my worlds collided. Billy Ray Cyrus + Spanish + line dancing = Yvonne whispering, "the horror, the horror" to herself.
No one in the Latino/Chicano movement mentions these kinds of moments, so I will. A beautiful blending of cultures? Or the end of brown pride as we know it? You decide.
There have been countless essays written on the matter of assimilation, acculturation, ethnicity, identity, etc. Writers such as Sandra Cisneros, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Ana Castillo, and countless others write about living with the hyphen. I debate things like, should I call myself a Mexican? Tejana? Latina? Chicana?
What no one talks about, however, is the kind of thing I witnessed on Friday night. I was at a Valentine's Day event and the DJ had been playing a wide mix of songs. Disco, '80s, salsa, merengue, norteño. I turned to my husband and said, "This is the kind of DJ I wanted for our wedding." And then the DJ put on the song.
If you are a fortunate soul, you have never had to listen to "My Achy-Breaky Heart." I lived in Texas for most of my life, so I heard it more than I care to admit. I know some of the lyrics solely due to osmosis. On Friday night, for the first time, I heard this song in Spanish. And then people started line dancing. Mexican people. That was when the worst of both my worlds collided. Billy Ray Cyrus + Spanish + line dancing = Yvonne whispering, "the horror, the horror" to herself.
No one in the Latino/Chicano movement mentions these kinds of moments, so I will. A beautiful blending of cultures? Or the end of brown pride as we know it? You decide.
Tuesday
Anniversary and Random Thoughts
So, we moved. At one point, when my mother called to ask me how it was going, I started bawling. Later that night, I told my husband, "I am 29 years old and I just cried to my mommy." In my defense, I cried for the following reasons: I was exhausted; I hate moving; the pipes froze in our new place on the night we moved in (which meant there was water gushing out of the walls and no heat in half of the house); Nate fell on the icy stairs, hit his back, with a trunk landing on his stomach, and I watched the whole thing happen from about two feet away; I had just started school; and I had to go to work on Monday even though I didn't know where anything was, including my deodorant, because a big grant was due. So, wah.
Good news is that I'm better. Still busy as hell, but better. School is going to be a bitch and work is busy and I have to write a thesis and and and and. So, I think I might have to cut down on social obligations. Right after I finish with the next two weeks, which is filled with work events, birthdays, an anniversary, and our housewarming party. Right after that. Right ....
And now for the novel. Has not been abandoned. Has not been forgotten. I'm working with a prof this semester who is very in favor of meeting a daily word count. It doesn't matter what you write, as long as you try to meet the goal you set for yourself every day. So, starting Monday, I will try to write 1,000 words per day for four weeks (I'll extend to six if I have the stamina). Then I'll take a break. Depending on where I'm at with the novel at the end of this marathon I might have to do more weeks to get a draft of the whole she-bang. We'll see. So, starting on Monday I'll be keeping a tally on this page and an on-going tally on my novel page. Follow the bouncing ball at home, boys and girls!
And, for a final random thought. While I was riding the train home last night, I saw a young man wearing a black trench coat. He also had a black cowboy hat with a snakeskin scarf tied around it. He held an unlit cigarette in his mouth the whole ride, which was about 20 minutes, and he had two tears (tattoos? eye makeup?) that dripped from the corners of both eyes. As I looked at him, I smiled. And I thought, "Man, I am so old. I can't even remember the last time I put that much thought into an outfit."
So, we moved. At one point, when my mother called to ask me how it was going, I started bawling. Later that night, I told my husband, "I am 29 years old and I just cried to my mommy." In my defense, I cried for the following reasons: I was exhausted; I hate moving; the pipes froze in our new place on the night we moved in (which meant there was water gushing out of the walls and no heat in half of the house); Nate fell on the icy stairs, hit his back, with a trunk landing on his stomach, and I watched the whole thing happen from about two feet away; I had just started school; and I had to go to work on Monday even though I didn't know where anything was, including my deodorant, because a big grant was due. So, wah.
Good news is that I'm better. Still busy as hell, but better. School is going to be a bitch and work is busy and I have to write a thesis and and and and. So, I think I might have to cut down on social obligations. Right after I finish with the next two weeks, which is filled with work events, birthdays, an anniversary, and our housewarming party. Right after that. Right ....
And now for the novel. Has not been abandoned. Has not been forgotten. I'm working with a prof this semester who is very in favor of meeting a daily word count. It doesn't matter what you write, as long as you try to meet the goal you set for yourself every day. So, starting Monday, I will try to write 1,000 words per day for four weeks (I'll extend to six if I have the stamina). Then I'll take a break. Depending on where I'm at with the novel at the end of this marathon I might have to do more weeks to get a draft of the whole she-bang. We'll see. So, starting on Monday I'll be keeping a tally on this page and an on-going tally on my novel page. Follow the bouncing ball at home, boys and girls!
And, for a final random thought. While I was riding the train home last night, I saw a young man wearing a black trench coat. He also had a black cowboy hat with a snakeskin scarf tied around it. He held an unlit cigarette in his mouth the whole ride, which was about 20 minutes, and he had two tears (tattoos? eye makeup?) that dripped from the corners of both eyes. As I looked at him, I smiled. And I thought, "Man, I am so old. I can't even remember the last time I put that much thought into an outfit."
Monday
Quick Post
Just to say, whoa. I am busy. In a weird series of coincidences, I am having one of the busiest times of the year at work, Nate and I have both been sick, I start school this week, and we are moving this weekend. Moving. Ugh. Needlesss to say, I don't think I will get much writing done this week, either here or in the novel. I will be back after this craziness dies down.
Just to say, whoa. I am busy. In a weird series of coincidences, I am having one of the busiest times of the year at work, Nate and I have both been sick, I start school this week, and we are moving this weekend. Moving. Ugh. Needlesss to say, I don't think I will get much writing done this week, either here or in the novel. I will be back after this craziness dies down.
Thursday
Three Things
1. It is -20 in Chicago today, with the wind chill. That's cold. But for some reason, it isn't making my Texan soul angry, the way it would have a year ago, or scaring me, as it would have two years ago. It does make me worry, however, that I'll never be acclimated to a cold climate, but I may lose my love of the heat and then I won't be able to live anywhere but California.
2. This is a big-ass fish. (If you don't want to register, I'll give you a synopsis. Guy catches a 121-1/2- pound blue catfish in Lake Texoma. New world record. Hey, hadn't you heard? Everything's bigger in Texas.)
3. I have taken a couple of days off writing to finish a residency application. I'm applying to a few, hoping that a couple of weeks or a month of solid writing will help me get a big jump on the novel. Wish me luck.
4. So I lied about the three things. The fourth thing is that writing a novel is hard. Damn hard. I've written short stories and articles and what-have-you, and not to say those are easy, but I've been able to hold all of the threads of those stories in my mind at the same time. Can't do it with the novel. There's just too much going on with too many people in too many places. If writing a short story or an article is a sinner praying for God to forgive him, writing a novel is saying some words that might have been a prayer at some point to a deity that may or may not be a God in a language that isn't your native tongue. Got all that? I think what I'm trying to say is that writing a novel requires a lot of faith that all of these strings and threads will eventually join together. And sometimes my can of faith is almost empty. Just like my beer.
1. It is -20 in Chicago today, with the wind chill. That's cold. But for some reason, it isn't making my Texan soul angry, the way it would have a year ago, or scaring me, as it would have two years ago. It does make me worry, however, that I'll never be acclimated to a cold climate, but I may lose my love of the heat and then I won't be able to live anywhere but California.
2. This is a big-ass fish. (If you don't want to register, I'll give you a synopsis. Guy catches a 121-1/2- pound blue catfish in Lake Texoma. New world record. Hey, hadn't you heard? Everything's bigger in Texas.)
3. I have taken a couple of days off writing to finish a residency application. I'm applying to a few, hoping that a couple of weeks or a month of solid writing will help me get a big jump on the novel. Wish me luck.
4. So I lied about the three things. The fourth thing is that writing a novel is hard. Damn hard. I've written short stories and articles and what-have-you, and not to say those are easy, but I've been able to hold all of the threads of those stories in my mind at the same time. Can't do it with the novel. There's just too much going on with too many people in too many places. If writing a short story or an article is a sinner praying for God to forgive him, writing a novel is saying some words that might have been a prayer at some point to a deity that may or may not be a God in a language that isn't your native tongue. Got all that? I think what I'm trying to say is that writing a novel requires a lot of faith that all of these strings and threads will eventually join together. And sometimes my can of faith is almost empty. Just like my beer.
Tuesday
Writing Update
I "finished" Chapter 6 and by that I mean I have a working draft. It's not perfect, it will need to be rewritten, but it's done enough to move onto the next chapter. The first section of the book is chapters 1-6. Each chapter is in the perspective of a different character. When I rewrite, I expect there will be a lot of cutting (the first six chapters are 141 pages, with a lot of exposition and backstory) and moving stuff around. Some of the writing will need to come in later chapters, I can already tell. I expect to have three-four sections total of these rotating perspectives (depending on how much story I can get into each person's chapter; I'll see how that goes).
One of the tough things about writing while in an MFA program is pretty obvious and I think others have commented on it. It's hard to be in the creative process (writing), and at the same time, have to talk about your work as though it's finished. I've found that criticisms and critiques have really slowed me down at times, until I remember: I'm not done. I can fix some of those problems. Just keep going. So that's what I'm trying to do. Chapter 6 and the first part of the novel are too long, they need work, but for now I need to leave them alone and move on to the next chapter.
I "finished" Chapter 6 and by that I mean I have a working draft. It's not perfect, it will need to be rewritten, but it's done enough to move onto the next chapter. The first section of the book is chapters 1-6. Each chapter is in the perspective of a different character. When I rewrite, I expect there will be a lot of cutting (the first six chapters are 141 pages, with a lot of exposition and backstory) and moving stuff around. Some of the writing will need to come in later chapters, I can already tell. I expect to have three-four sections total of these rotating perspectives (depending on how much story I can get into each person's chapter; I'll see how that goes).
One of the tough things about writing while in an MFA program is pretty obvious and I think others have commented on it. It's hard to be in the creative process (writing), and at the same time, have to talk about your work as though it's finished. I've found that criticisms and critiques have really slowed me down at times, until I remember: I'm not done. I can fix some of those problems. Just keep going. So that's what I'm trying to do. Chapter 6 and the first part of the novel are too long, they need work, but for now I need to leave them alone and move on to the next chapter.
Saturday
Funny Finds
As I go about my day in Chitown, I often run across funny things (they're funny to me at any rate). Here are a couple of them.
I don't know whether they do this nationally, but at several local coffee shops when they give you coffee to go, the sleeves are different. Instead of the plain brown, recycled paper or the shop's logo, you now get an advertisment for another product. A recent sleeve I got with my coffee was pink with a red band at the top and bottom. It says:
Eat.
Drink.
And Still Be Merry.
Happy Holidays.
And then there's the Pepto Bismol logo and: Think Pink. It made me start thinking about effective advertising. Pepto should come out with ads printed directly on toilet paper. I think that would be much more appropriate, don't you?
Then there are the Missed Connections. I love reading the ads in the alt-weekly where people try to find that guy they smiled at on the train, or the girl they saw jogging at the park. Here is one I found recently:
You: Hispanic male in red Astrovan with open passenger window, drove by bus stop twice, exposed yourself on second round to two young women waiting for bus. I was the one who didn't report you to the police. I thought we had something.
My first guess is that this ad is fake or, if it's real, that they're trying to nail the guy in any way they can. But man, what if it were real? This is why I get so distracted living in this city. So many words and stories surround me.
As I go about my day in Chitown, I often run across funny things (they're funny to me at any rate). Here are a couple of them.
I don't know whether they do this nationally, but at several local coffee shops when they give you coffee to go, the sleeves are different. Instead of the plain brown, recycled paper or the shop's logo, you now get an advertisment for another product. A recent sleeve I got with my coffee was pink with a red band at the top and bottom. It says:
Eat.
Drink.
And Still Be Merry.
Happy Holidays.
And then there's the Pepto Bismol logo and: Think Pink. It made me start thinking about effective advertising. Pepto should come out with ads printed directly on toilet paper. I think that would be much more appropriate, don't you?
Then there are the Missed Connections. I love reading the ads in the alt-weekly where people try to find that guy they smiled at on the train, or the girl they saw jogging at the park. Here is one I found recently:
You: Hispanic male in red Astrovan with open passenger window, drove by bus stop twice, exposed yourself on second round to two young women waiting for bus. I was the one who didn't report you to the police. I thought we had something.
My first guess is that this ad is fake or, if it's real, that they're trying to nail the guy in any way they can. But man, what if it were real? This is why I get so distracted living in this city. So many words and stories surround me.
Monday
Novel Updates
If you're interested in keeping up with the progress on the novel, go to the About section and follow the link in the last graf on that page. I'm just keeping track of pages and chapters at this point. Maybe I'll write more about the process itself later, but I'm trying not to go on and on about the prah-cess, dahling, of being a tortured writer.
If you're interested in keeping up with the progress on the novel, go to the About section and follow the link in the last graf on that page. I'm just keeping track of pages and chapters at this point. Maybe I'll write more about the process itself later, but I'm trying not to go on and on about the prah-cess, dahling, of being a tortured writer.
Friday
Moving News, Writing News
We are definitely moving. We found an apartment in a two flat just north of the Lincoln Square neighborhood. We’re excited for several reasons. We will have more room (we are bursting at the seams in our current apartment), there is a great park nearby for the Sohpie dog, it’s quiet enough in terms of traffic for Roscoe the cat to still go out, and we will have a few amenities we’ve done without for the past two years.
Our new apartment has two bedrooms and an office. We will share the bigger bedroom, Nate will get the smaller bedroom to do with as he wishes, and I will use the office. I’m very excited about having my own room with a door. Right now, my “office” is part of our bedroom. This is problematic when I get up early or want to stay up late working. I can’t keep the lights on, or I’ll keep Nate awake. So I have to move around all the time. I have a laptop, which makes this easy, but I can’t ever set up and stay set up. Sometimes I’m in the kitchen, sometimes I’m in the living room. It will be really nice to have a room I can walk to and close the door when I need to get some work done.
For Nate, having his own room will let him have his friends over more frequently. Nate is about twice as social as I am. He often wants to invite a friend over for a movie or whatever, and I often don’t. It doesn’t seem fair for either of us to determine what the other does, so our new apartment should help in that department, too. If he wants to play video games or watch a movie with a friend, they can hang out in his room and I won’t feel obligated to participate. OR I can go to my room and do my own thing and they won’t worry that they’re being too loud or interrupting my reading or writing or whatever. Happiness all around.
As for amenities, we will have laundry and a dishwasher! After two years of trucking our clothes to a laundromat, the washer and dryer will save us ungodly amounts of time and aggravation. We are happy, our current landlord is happy (he lives on the property and is taking our apartment, which is bigger than the one he currently lives in, and renting out his unit), and the only thing we have to worry about now is moving during February, the most balmy month in Chicago weather.
Writing News
As for writing news, I think I’m going to start keeping track of my progress on this site. To keep me honest, in a sense. I hope that writing down my progress for others to see will help my motivation. I’m going to start next week, with weekly updates.
We are definitely moving. We found an apartment in a two flat just north of the Lincoln Square neighborhood. We’re excited for several reasons. We will have more room (we are bursting at the seams in our current apartment), there is a great park nearby for the Sohpie dog, it’s quiet enough in terms of traffic for Roscoe the cat to still go out, and we will have a few amenities we’ve done without for the past two years.
Our new apartment has two bedrooms and an office. We will share the bigger bedroom, Nate will get the smaller bedroom to do with as he wishes, and I will use the office. I’m very excited about having my own room with a door. Right now, my “office” is part of our bedroom. This is problematic when I get up early or want to stay up late working. I can’t keep the lights on, or I’ll keep Nate awake. So I have to move around all the time. I have a laptop, which makes this easy, but I can’t ever set up and stay set up. Sometimes I’m in the kitchen, sometimes I’m in the living room. It will be really nice to have a room I can walk to and close the door when I need to get some work done.
For Nate, having his own room will let him have his friends over more frequently. Nate is about twice as social as I am. He often wants to invite a friend over for a movie or whatever, and I often don’t. It doesn’t seem fair for either of us to determine what the other does, so our new apartment should help in that department, too. If he wants to play video games or watch a movie with a friend, they can hang out in his room and I won’t feel obligated to participate. OR I can go to my room and do my own thing and they won’t worry that they’re being too loud or interrupting my reading or writing or whatever. Happiness all around.
As for amenities, we will have laundry and a dishwasher! After two years of trucking our clothes to a laundromat, the washer and dryer will save us ungodly amounts of time and aggravation. We are happy, our current landlord is happy (he lives on the property and is taking our apartment, which is bigger than the one he currently lives in, and renting out his unit), and the only thing we have to worry about now is moving during February, the most balmy month in Chicago weather.
Writing News
As for writing news, I think I’m going to start keeping track of my progress on this site. To keep me honest, in a sense. I hope that writing down my progress for others to see will help my motivation. I’m going to start next week, with weekly updates.
Complacency
I wrote a couple of days ago about feeling restless. Usually, I get that feeling when I need to change something in my life. To be clear, these are not Big Things. I don’t need to quit my job or get divorced or buy a sports car. When I’ve had these feelings before, I’ve done something like gone back to school, moved, or started training for a marathon.
Lately I feel restless because I have become so complacent. Last night I was explaining to Nate that I feel like I’m asleep in my life. I’m just going through the motions. From the outside my life looks fine, and mostly it is fine. This is something internal.
I imagine this has something to do with the fact that my work on the novel has slowed to a trickle. I can’t say for sure why this is, but it’s affecting my mood. Added to that, Nate pointed out that he hasn’t seen me reading lately. Since I learned to read, I have had devoured one book after another. I don’t think I’ve ever gone a week without reading a book as I have done. It might even be two weeks. There’s something going on with me. There was a phrase John used to like, “the weather is about to change.” That’s what this feels like but I don’t know exactly what the change needs to be, only that it needs to happen. I need to make an adjustment. There is a technical term for this condition I have. It’s called navel gazing.
I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. I do, however, make a list of goals each year on my birthday. Things I’d like to learn, or try, or accomplish before my next birthday. Here’s a list of some of those things.
Learn how to knit.
Take yoga regularly again.
Take a bookmaking class.
Finish my MFA.
Finish a draft of the novel.
Here are the things I have done:
Gotten married.
Published a ton of articles at my former job (F News).
Quit that job and quit taking freelance work to focus on the novel.
Written approximately half of the novel.
Got hired at the Museum where I wanted to work even before I moved to Chicago.
So that leaves the fun stuff. After we move, I am going to look into yoga and knitting classes. In moving news, I think we have made a decision. We have to sign the lease on Saturday, but I think we have found a new home. If it all works out, I'll tell you about it after the weekend.
I wrote a couple of days ago about feeling restless. Usually, I get that feeling when I need to change something in my life. To be clear, these are not Big Things. I don’t need to quit my job or get divorced or buy a sports car. When I’ve had these feelings before, I’ve done something like gone back to school, moved, or started training for a marathon.
Lately I feel restless because I have become so complacent. Last night I was explaining to Nate that I feel like I’m asleep in my life. I’m just going through the motions. From the outside my life looks fine, and mostly it is fine. This is something internal.
I imagine this has something to do with the fact that my work on the novel has slowed to a trickle. I can’t say for sure why this is, but it’s affecting my mood. Added to that, Nate pointed out that he hasn’t seen me reading lately. Since I learned to read, I have had devoured one book after another. I don’t think I’ve ever gone a week without reading a book as I have done. It might even be two weeks. There’s something going on with me. There was a phrase John used to like, “the weather is about to change.” That’s what this feels like but I don’t know exactly what the change needs to be, only that it needs to happen. I need to make an adjustment. There is a technical term for this condition I have. It’s called navel gazing.
I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. I do, however, make a list of goals each year on my birthday. Things I’d like to learn, or try, or accomplish before my next birthday. Here’s a list of some of those things.
Learn how to knit.
Take yoga regularly again.
Take a bookmaking class.
Finish my MFA.
Finish a draft of the novel.
Here are the things I have done:
Gotten married.
Published a ton of articles at my former job (F News).
Quit that job and quit taking freelance work to focus on the novel.
Written approximately half of the novel.
Got hired at the Museum where I wanted to work even before I moved to Chicago.
So that leaves the fun stuff. After we move, I am going to look into yoga and knitting classes. In moving news, I think we have made a decision. We have to sign the lease on Saturday, but I think we have found a new home. If it all works out, I'll tell you about it after the weekend.